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"I kissed a feminist once",
he says, face flushed blotchy, something heavy resting on his shoulders
maybe
“I kissed a feminist once,”
and everybody laughs
“she was cold as ice,” he says
and he doesn’t mention how I turned
warm beneath his fingers,
heated up like embers
and reduced his bed to flame and ashes
“God was she mean,” he says
but he hasn’t forgotten the time
I told him to be kind to himself, to
purge the poison from his veins and
scrape the smoke from his lungs
“I love you I love you I love you”
I said,
“please love yourself too”
“I kissed a feminist once,”
he says, to loud guffaws,
an elbow in his side
and he doesn’t say “her lips
were the softest thing to ever brush
my collar bone”
he doesn’t say “she made playlists in my mind”
or “she covered me like a blanket”
or “her teeth on my earlobe ripped me open and scattered me across the sheets of her twin bed”
he doesn’t say “I loved that
storm of a girl,
I loved her heavy at 4am I loved
her like pennies
at the bottom of a fountain
like memorized freckles
I loved her like depth perception
like opposable thumbs
I loved her I loved her I loved her”
and instead he shrugs
that heavy thing off his shoulders
and shrugs the feel of my lips
off his chest and he says,
“she was a crazy ***** anyway”
- Lily Cigale
This was too beautiful not to share.
Rachel Sterling Sep 2015
There's a sweet spot
between the crazy passion of a newly begun fire
and the embers of a fire which someone has tried to extinguish.
During that nice slow burn there is bliss to be found.
There is beauty and warmth.
As long as you keep feeding it and respecting it, it won't go away.
You can keep that fire nice and controlled
warm for you for a lifetime.
Or you can douse it with cold water, hope it goes out,
try to pretend you never had a fire to begin with;
convince yourself that you were going to get burned if you kept enjoying its warmth.
Rachel Sterling Sep 2015
I catch your scent in my covers and sheets as I roll over sleepily
I inhale it deeply
Savoring the familiar smell
Comfort, arms, forehead kisses
A solid chest covered in dark, soft hair
The sensation of your bare shoulder on my lips
The soft skin of your neck
The rasp of your beard on my cheek
The solidness of your strength curled around me
I comfort myself with the knowledge that this isn't permanent.
I exhale and smile, wrapping myself in the blankets before drifting back to sleep.
Rachel Sterling Sep 2015
" I just felt the need to tell you
you're beautiful."
Why did you feel that need?
Do I strike you as someone who doesn't know,
who isn't told often,
who is looking for your attention?
Did you need to force me to pay attention to your energy?
Did I invite your attention by entering your visual space?
Was I asking for it?

"Your boyfriend,
you probably have one of those,
is a very lucky man.
You're gorgeous."
Is that so?
I don't have one.
Haven't in years.
Why didn't you ask my name
my occupation
my dreams?

"You're very attractive.
You probably have a great man in your life."
I don't.
No man.
Great or otherwise.
If I were ugly would I be less deserving of great?
What would you say makes a great man?
How do you know I belong with one?

"You're very lucky to be here with her.
She's the cutest girl in the room."
I am not his property.
You sound like you're offering a compliment on his dog.
I am not a dog or a thing to be complimented.
Did he groom me this way?
Have you even heard me speak?

I am not the summation of my experiences with men.
I am not the totality of my beauty or outward traits.
I am not property
I am not a token
I am not a symbol of worth.

I am a woman
with a voice
talents
feelings
wants
needs

I am a full life.
I am a woman.
Rachel Sterling Sep 2015
I'm so ******* cold.
Cold outside.
Cold inside.
Literally.
Metaphorically.
Cold.
My nose runs.
I quiver.
My soul aches.
I hunch up.
Try to hide under covers.
Summer is over.
Winters do not suit me.
Rachel Sterling Sep 2015
Do not presume to tell me what is good for me
How I'm feeling
What I want
What I need
While I may not always know
I know you know less
When I say I can handle something
I can
When I say I want something
I do
Don't you dare try to control my life from afar with your words or lack there of
Rachel Sterling Sep 2015
Today I am sadness
Today the world is too much
I am angst
I am worry
I am holding back tears
Today I am unrequited
Today I am longing
I am concern
I am need
I am just going through the motions
Today I am confused
Today I am a headache
I am a heartache
I am weighed upon
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