My body trembles, craving to be fed,
A hunger deep, with thoughts of him in bed.
Desire's flame, it burns so bright,
A need that keeps me up at night.

Anticipation, like a storm it brews,
His touch, his scent, the feelings I choose.
Desperate for his tender kiss,
Yearning for his touch, his bliss.

A bond so strong, it binds us tight,
A connection deep, pure and right.
In every moment, my heart does soar,
Craving his presence, wanting more.

This longing's power, it won't subside,
In his arms, my secrets hide.
A love so fierce, it shakes my core,
Forever yearning, always more.

My body practically salivates, that greedy part of me demanding satisfaction. In these moments, I’m acutely aware of the intense hunger I have for him, a craving that transcends reason and pride. The anticipation, the need, it all becomes a consuming force, leaving me desperate for his touch, his presence, his ****. The intensity of my longing is a testament to the powerful connection we share, a connection that leaves me yearning for more, always more.

someone once told me
you never forget your first love
you always love them
maybe in some strange twisted way
your brain forgetting
all the pain they caused
you love them
and i think they were right
because in a way
i love you
and i think i always will
for some nonsensical reason
i will never see the world
the same because of you
and sometimes i wish
i could change that
erase you from my thoughts
as you distort them
with your unwavering power
but then i remember
i wouldn’t want it any other way
you have shaped me
into the person i am today
and because of that
and i wouldn’t change a thing

- i'll never forget you

Every time that I sleep
I pray that I'm reaped
Because I don't wanna keep
Going on, I hate me
I don't wanna live
And I don't wanna give
Any more attention to
This world of *******
And every time I wake up
I hate my own ******* guts
And I hope that I choke
Or just die or get ******
Cuz I've tried way too ******* hard
To keep pulling the last card
And looking for glass shards
So I can finally give up
And you tell me that I'm ******* lazy
But I'm so depressed that I feel like I'm crazy
I can't get off of this couch
And I can't even be seen with my kids or go out
And I'm glad that my dad didn't
Give my the shotgun
Because you'd find me with
My head undone
And somehow I just keep going
Probably just because of Clem and of Rowan

You disregard all the loyalty
That I've put in to this
Business that you
Blindly ignore, see
I've been here before and
I know that I'm going
Through way too much *******
For you and for yours
But I'm still working hard
And I'm not gonna start
Getting into the **** that
You only exacerbate
You could make my life easier
But all you do is make me wanna see you
In an alley way so I can say
What I've always been thinking
And then ******* in all the
Holes in your face
So do me a favor and give me a reason
To end my whole life in this beautiful season
Cuz I'm ready to ******* up,
I'm ready to spill my guts
I'm ready to die because
I don't give a ****

I am
Not the person that you think I am
If I was
Then I would still be in the can
In the paper, the news,
That's up to you, my man
I'll defend myself any way I can

The only reason you haven't
Found me in a tavern
****** up on my *******
And my habits
Is because I know that
If my kids wake up
And find me in a tub
With my wrists all slit up
Then they'll be just like me
Which is going to be immediately
A trauma for them to face
Another CPS case
And then they'll be left
With their mom who's a basketcase
And I'm done acting like this isn't a tribute
To the only person who understands too
Shout out to Em for giving me the guts
To get so ******* that I stand the **** up
And tell God to leave me alone
Because I can't even sleep in my own ******* home
And I'm tired of courtrooms
I'm tired of jail cells
I'm tired of living
In this eternal hell
So one day I'm just gonna stop being me
And hopefully it'll be in my sleep
So I can have a nice funeral
And leave a good policy
Because is not what I wanted my life to be

I am
Not the person that you think I am
If I was, I'd still be in the can
In the paper, the news, that's up to you my man
I'll defend myself however I can

I'm so sick and tired
Of knowing I'll never retire
That sometime I wish
I would die in a fire
And I'm not spinning fables
And I'm about to flip tables
No I'm not gonna be able to
Make myself disabled
But I'm already there
In my head, I don't care
The only reason
That I'm still not impaired
Is that I haven't been ready
To finally end my own story
Because in my mind
Suicide ******* bores me
But if you get in my ******* way
Just know that I'm done
And it'll be your last day
On this earth that you've taken for granted
I won't even plan it
I'll just run into you
And your *** will be branded
With the very last name that you'll hear
And it'll be the name of a non binary queer
And I hope that this ****** you off
Because I'm done keeping my mouth shut, yeah it's on

I am
Not the person you think I am
If I was, I'd still be in the can
In the paper, the news, that's up to you my man
I'll defend myself in any way I can

(I'm just playing Slim, you know I love you)

So much to say, which means so little;
So little to say, what that means much.
These ends we face, often,
Come on fast and taper out just as such.
What that remains: naught but thought.
Loose and multiplicitous as strands,
Hair of the artist's brush,
Colors as the richest palette -
Bold & bright, deep & dark