I may have taken you for granted but you took me too soon
Adulthood,
What about you makes me feel the need to embellish this rune?
I look down from my eyelids onto the hands in which I mold
Manipulate; take shape, as the do as they are told
Except with too many chemicals these extremities begin to shake
Dislocate and replace what I enchant to what I make.
Furthermore,
I may have taken you for granted but you took me too soon
I don’t mind the responsibility but it’s my mind that I sometimes loose
Over the slow man, the pedestrian and all the chatter from the rest of them
In the simple things is what you’re supposed to love but it’s the simple things that **** me off
When I have one point to make and nobody knows the difference
And finally,
I may have taken you for granted but you took me too soon
I’m always away doing something that the other kids never do
Was I the only one who got the message from my god?
The holy ghost of asking questions followed by a subtle nod
As neurotic as that is followed by how it could be
I found the script to the autobiography of being me
Sincerely

“Leave little to the imagination
and more to unbiased opinion”
Said Adam, to the Evening
“I know little of wall paper patterns
and even less of God’s dominion”
Continued Adam, to the Evening
“Give them all they came for, give them all they want
You see, piety is no religion, just as a word is not a font”

And then there was three
And an ember of speed
With a pat on the back
And a few grams of things

Mummified in plastic
Sawdusty pigment
“What street did you say you lived on?”
They showed up, and then we went

After I yawned
And my face relocked into its fixed position
And my eyes reglued into their sockets
I swallowed in the others expressions
Looking up, brain swollen
The floor materialized tiredness
Brandishing my finger, drawing in the air like a wand

She calls my eyes mysterious
My therapist calls them depressed
I say she’s schizophrenic
See says she’s underdressed
They ask us how we met
She left it for me to address
“From one lunatic to the other-“
“In your mind?”
-“Be my guest.”

Please don’t wait
Reveal to me
Your empty space

Lights embrace
Your will to be
My new face

It tastes great
Let me see
Your minds last wake

Judge can’t fake
Amnesty
Clear blue lake

You came, you lost, you came, you won
You came, you tangled up your tongue
You came, you lost
You came, you won
You screamed
“Aren’t we having fun?”

They lost Ohio
We remembered they forgot
They lost our sparrow

Hell holds a place 

Where I pace in a space 

And through glass, I look at you. 



Not out of vengeful fury 

But for sorrow and worry 

As I remain in a dismal blue. 



You are not alone 

And prone to the light he has shone 

With your mate, both head and soul. 



I tear at my skull

Hysterically mull, presence null 

Misery flushed by eternity’s toll. 



Obligatory affection 

For the reflection of woman perfection 

He has, but I too want you excessively.  



The glass will not break

He kisses you for my sake 

I famine helplessly to get more than your stare. 



You look back throughout his touch  

Every time it’s exceedingly much 

I fall apart watching you go.

Now in a pinch 

I winced just an inch 

Convulsing from a dream in the 

Windowpain. 



No blanket could 

Banquet and save it, sadly 

I pinky’d my way between lanes. 



Petite fingers clasped 

Wrapped and entrapped in 

Sobbing troubled twines. 



My abdomen, held

Felt body bouquet and meld 

Love in the most inquisitive of times.

Hell made me consistent

Persistent, I went with it

And caught the eye of the girl behind glass. 



Up, she got close 

Molecular woes, a lethal dose

With one touch my window collapsed. 



No one would think

Gut sink, simultaneous blink 

The possibility unconstitutionally in reach. 



Things she would say 

Meaning to days and astonishing phrase 

I would make happy all I needed most. 



Had I searched every-earth

Proving worth, providing mirth 

I would have found the same you, as inevitably. 



Now Hell has subsided 

And we reside in what’s been guided 

She is the me I like most.

(The page is torn on the left alignment)

...And then they would place their pistols beneath their chins and pull the trigger. I would see it as some cylindrical spatter of blood escaping from the tops of their heads, like over exaggerated gore from the adult movies. So what would happen next for them exactly? Blackness? No. That is still something. Perhaps just empty. No. Can't be. Empty has potential to be filled, rendering it not quite nothing. I suppose it would be like before you were born. Do you remember it?

Wake up in the sunlight hour
You sense the warm and feel the power
And know that when you want to leave
You can

All is well and all is bright
You wonder of the lasting night
And speak of shells and cuddle fish
Aloud

I know
  That it’s all
      A passing phase
I know
  That it’s all
      A passing phrase

I use to pride myself, on my art of stealth
Creeping through shadow, for fear and for wealth.
Silence the hunted
Slit their guilt
Patience is golden from the chair I have built.

Backwards on a chair
A visage sat and stared
Void of expression
Vacant to depression  
Seasons on his teeth
Tobacco in his lungs
A reservoir he seeks
To empty his mind and enter the sun.

As desperate as the king might be
I want your subtle cry
The rain only gestures for
The sun and moon to collide
The changes in December tolls
To carry the souls to hell
Your touch alone can save the man
Who lies, but never tells
A child all tattooed at birth
Remains a broken sigh
Redeemed yells at Tuesday’s voice
A child, who lost her mind.

I’m as bad as it gets
And as good as I feel
The fallout has left me to die
And I recently learned
She was only concerned
Of my requiem
Chaos stopped by

So the bomb’s embroilment
Greets at my door
To the monsters and passerby’s
And away in a plane
My dear love disdains
As a widow
She only cries

The pillow won’t bite even if you try to fight it
The children all say that I can’t even hide it
Under the bed I sure see what’s above it
The children all say that I can’t even love it

Don’t stay up for me
I don’t know if I left yet

Up in my head I sure know where the key is
The children all say that now I look fearless
Over the rafter is just where my dream is
There is a stich in the fabric that I swore was seamless

Don’t stay up for me
I don’t know where I left it

The film Jim was watching was in
Black and White. He’s seen it before
And I
Was a few rows behind.
He loved the theater because it smelled like home
  Before moving away from Minnesota.

His face was medieval, sinister and proud
He suffered quiet desperation
  And hid it between his brow
The movie, epileptic, machine-like and loud
It was a retelling of the Great War
   And it drew in a crowd

  Jim’s favorite part was the silent scenes
The yang to the firefight and circus
  He’d joke and smoke and nudge his fellow solider
Mind without body in a movie without purpose

The film Jim was watching was in
Black and White. He’s seen it before
And I
Was a few rows behind.
He slashed his wrists in his seat that night
Because his body couldn’t live without his mind

Mundane chatter and VHS tapes
Renaissance iron and tired eyes, awake
Lying on the carpet
Minimalistic sandwich
Lying to the paw print
Cannibalistic light switch

The black dove is perched,
near its keepers gritty window
clipped at the wing, and blown to the past
Destined for insanity, alone
in his cage
never to breath
to fly
to last

Where there is hope, it ceased to believe
of such an idea, this bird could conceive
His keeper, in pieces, swept up by high tide
his mission unknown, black dove suicide.

The sun of astrology and the tarot card of mirrors
Tired reflection underlining the tissue of fears
A four-letter word that crawls through the years
Black works well with the mind it clears

I’m not going home tonight
She kissed my check goodbye
In the dark I am one but in the light under her sun
I’m not going home tonight

Piety screamed out for release and now
I believe in
Only her

I fell asleep and dreamed
Of theories death can’t sing
The souls that pass through aren’t aware of me and you
I fell asleep and dreamed

Piety screamed out for release and now
I believe in
Only her

Bone mice and malice
Splint sores and callused
Morrow moths in chalice  
O dear friend Miss Alice

In a cave my shadow is broadcast on wall
A recollection of forms and participation for all
Smoke rings and incense for an instance of alone
“A hermit” I said aloud, in the place I call home

We've taken you from your home. Lush in line, your twins and elders, taken.
You lost connection to the Nexus, put on display with porous candied paper messengers and the consumers of blood, perched from the ceiling by invisible lineage.
We have taken you. We're sorry. We lament. We trade small goods to take you, but its easy.
We take the tools too. The serration, the sadism, newspaper mat lobotomy.
We lament. We are sorry.
We lament and cut sad faces. We cut the undead that spawn from the soil and ****** your innards into the hot room. We are sorry. We too spawn from soil. You feel you've lost connection to the Nexus- with the stringy appendages of chilled gore.
We've taken your insides and given you a new face.
We are sorry.

Burnt adolescence, the smell of survivors
The satiric regime beholds.
White-gloved landlords, picking at grapefruit
By what means was this chapter told?

By a pigheaded guerilla lad
In a trench coat and top hat
With an ego to the distance of the sun
Alcohol is flammable
To the ones with sharpened mandibles  
For myself, it was all jolly good fun

My coffee’s getting cold so I
Top it off
The steam ran away and it
Might get lost
The humans sit and stare while at
The crosswalk
I pass and stand awake and wait and
Hear them talk-
-ing about the meat that grows in
Livestock
I guess I thought that caffeine was a weakness

People would tell me I looked skeletal
Not necessarily in an overly skinny sort of being
But in an organic, carbon matter fashion
Bone colored
Grooved
Plated
My ribs shone through my abdomen, still
My stomach protruded tightly
Translucent skin like a lampshade revealing
Three beams of muscle tissue
I should have been observed in a science class
I thought this while walking down the hall, away from the shower I left behind
Into my cave colored bedroom
Head first, body soon to follow
An archaic method-
My stack of literature playing the role of mammoth
About to be speared and eaten by my fingertips

As the cherub minstrel
Shakespeare at altar
Prose-stripped restore and
  Leviath defaulter

  Step forth in hood-hang
Wood breath with death stain
Lever pull unto trap door
Panic raid replaced Doom’s mourn

Well they say Jesus was a sailor, but the blind men couldn’t float
So I just sat in the river and watched as my skin erode
Escape is a verb not used by the ones who speak it
Give love and take action on the ones who may critique it  
  
Let’s all pray for the kid who dreams in black and white
See’s people as colors, knows aura on sight
Lives to die to leave his footprint
And has been writing ever since
He loves the idea of people talking about him in past tense  

Life is so much sweeter when you breathe through your imperfections
You see it all in slow motion as it spills in all directions
It’s a theater of war between the sleepers and the accepting
Until you look into a mirror and notice that it’s not reflecting

I surveyed from my electric piano
Seated in monotonous comfort
In the skewed seat of a classroom, to the left
In my orb of scrutiny
The light was yellow and thin
Each child seemingly no good
Sewing away at their desks, the days literature
One of them contorted, still feet facing forward
Her petite waist shifted mechanically and geared to a stop in my direction
In native culture, her spirit would be something feline and pleased  
It was in her focused grey stare, fluorescing milky blue
Her iris’s de-crystalized and oscillated in thick Rorschach drops  
As the spell was cast I remained, seated in observation
Wanting to style her maniacal lips
Our thoughts made love in a cloud above this sea of starving fish

This couch is warm
But this room still so cold
The lies you speak are new
But this story’s oh so old
And now the presence in my heart
Grows weary can’t you tell
That I knew right from the start
You’d drag me straight on to hell, yeah
Know that I know, I know that I know
I can’t wait
Again

And so alone
The streets breathe like smoke
The lies you speak are new
But the story’s oh so old
And now the languid smell of ash
Made me imagine the past
If death could take me back
Forget this bliss I’ve cast, yeah
Know that I know, I know that I know
I can’t wait
Again

The camera fixates on a face
-closer
Dampen the impeding surrenders
September daydreams of Jade
     Natures force was made
For mass production

K.p’s dad was a Science Fiction author,
While his son and I learned at school.
The teacher talked about planes, bombs, and towers-
Explosions, debris, and jet fuel.

We were poised like guppies, fidgeting with our lips,
Our bodies seemed made of lewd rubber.
Not one of us understood the weight or gravity-
Of one person killing another.

K.p’s dad wrote about a fair United States,
Called: “The Defined Territories,” rather tenacious.
A satire exploring justice with exaggerated sameness-
That most readers found to be tasteless.

His main character was a ‘rookie cop,’
And every skin color was uniform and equal.
Homosexuals gladly aided population control (by not making babies)-
And bullets were designed to be non-lethal.

In the story: a group of smugglers find a stockpile of real guns,
Automatics, ammunition and bombs.
The valiant cop pursues them through page turns and plot-
With sweat budding on his palms.

K.p and I fought over a girl at school,
I broke his nose and we each served detention.
At the end of his dad’s story the smugglers are caught-
Fined $1,000 and given lethal injection.

Awaken my demons, I’m always at
Bay
Stay
Faces turn slightly, they know me by
Name
Stay
Over the mountains my free will
Escapes
Stay
Guarding you tongue when it likes what it
Tastes
Stay
I’ll let you know
I’ll let you hear
When it falls
When it falls

In an aquifer I’m passed through heterogeneous soil
Life above ground was managed but with little time to toil
I sink completely calm, I stand smug in an upright position
Instead of becoming cleansed I relay the earths quiet composition
Now the further down the better
Oh the more organic I embark
Noticing not the slightest tension
People look rather well in the dark

There is more free space than matter
My zenith is far from touching land
A wing tipped by the ring of Saturn
The orb that many thought unmanned

My zenith is far from touching land
With a silken era of neon speed
The orb that many thought unmanned
The Guardians acknowledged their time of need

With a silken era of neon speed
A gaseous clash of friend and foe
The Guardians acknowledged their time of need
And songs of victory may never know

My 5 o’clock shadow shielded my 4 o’clock guilt
The shady gentleman in the corner is a no one
The man to his left, a soapbox of stilts
Still, a matchbook
Strikingly same
A celestial speaker
A back of green to maim

The empty calories are all full of rage as
My double-edged pen cut dinosaur days with
Little bow peep and that chick from down the street
Both swallowed the fluid keeping the cosmic egg clean

Sepia dust at
Dawn they rust
And stick to the English
Air
    Streets do shine
With love in mind
And fix the past
   They bare

The Sun struggled through the foliage
As we got closer to the leafy edge_

My tongue rebelled against my mouth
Describing it as far fetched

The fruit tasted of mostly water
Heaven forbid from Father to daughter

Said “Knowledge was wet as a serpents tail”
Tale of two kinds who tindered a trail

“My test was freewill when all things are good”
Earth and Heaven divided divinely, so should

“I propel you away for love and for pain”
“Never before and never
again”

We hold the many reins
-mmm hmm
We hold reign
-oh yes
We’ve held the rain
-More!

Who did you come to see?
Was it me or a theater on screen?
If I faced my back
Would you feel the entertainment lack?
Or would you laugh and listen closer to the seam?
Company
Am I any clearer?
Empathy
Why do we tend to fear her?
If I could place a finger on the crown when it’s getting nearer
I’m sure the kids would cheer
I’m sure they’d wish they’d be here
Are you satisfied with the band?
Have you come any closer to the man?
If I traced my will
Would you give it time to fill?
Or would you ask to see the palm of my hand?
Company
Am I any clearer?
Apathy
Why do we tend to fear her?
If I could place a finger on the crown when it’s getting nearer
I’m sure the kids would cheer
I’m sure they’d wish they’d be here

The passenger window was coaxed down
Creating a vacuum
From the outer orb of the car
    Whisping violently to the back seat.
I imagined this accumulated mass of air giving me directions
Just as my mother would.
          “Next left”
Turning my head back to the road
The stoplights were my own private assortment of fireworks, it being so late in the night
I was their sole admirer.  The sound that the wind now made reminded me of the
Shutter of an old camera, looped, repeated, into one single strand of noise.
I was being documented. Perhaps nature is just as fascinated with us as
We
Are
It.
Pulling up to the driveway, the car and I were eaten and digested.
Every living and inanimate thing around me was taking photos.
With their hands over their mouths, politely, like a secret crush.
Fame doesn’t bother blades of grass.

Bed sheet man
Sitting on his hands
Everybody wonders
But nobody has a plan
See him in a crowd
See him when he’s proud
Everybody asks
But nobody asks how

Feline photograph
I suppose I’m glad
I guess so
I guess so

I drew the first fire
Yes I cast the first flame
Come before now, exhausted pyre
Some yesterday became more today.

Minor minor
Folk not a kinder
Gilded shield of forest and water
Apex affront the king’s courage, reminder
The problem with pinnacle was hunting behind her

Dean and I loitered on iron horseback
Flaked with nuances and peppered with a keen stutter
Our jokes had weight
Weight creates a gravitational pull
Our jokes had a gravitational pull
My clone emerged in the rearview mirror with his girlfriend
Dean and I thought that was funny
They were attracted to us, for once
We got a bite to eat, my head, like a gyroscope
Universal karma
Revolving, self-stabilization
Into the palm of reconciliation
Forced by nature
With interdependence
A means to measure
And counter each sentence

God cast a wave to **** all who were wakeful
Whilst I was tense asleep
God then cast a final wave to all who kindred slumber  
All souls to a heavenly keep
But I did arise in an earthly world
The second before deliverance
Now I am the last gothic plight
In the age of non existence  

God’s fowl doing was for the good of mankind
A disease on His first creation
To wipe the slate clean, tabula rasa
Was a decision without hesitation

I was left to pillage and walk
Under the overcast clouds of all angels
Unfortunate son to the Father of life
Of whom am I to be blameful?

Are you needed at all?
Dung beetle needn’t stall
Make haste to your quarters
Not needed at all.
Are you producing at all?
Your sister needn’t call
Your choice of words is merely
Cause for her to fall.
Are you human after all?
The family’s income needn’t stall
Make haste to your death dear
Not needed at all.

Ripely at 13, quickly an Internet queen
Found a boy around the same age
To swap and talk of things

Mindless banter from pitcher to batter
Such fun to see the words received
Upon the silliness, love was an illness
And the two were a couple on screen

But he became rash and rude and demanding
Forcefully aggressive and to my understanding
Required some photos of her undressed
As to which a little frightened she replied
“I guess”

For a year and a half, enslaved by a monster
No words of love just innocence slaughtered
The last picture she sent was of red bloodied arms
Without clothes on her body
Death from self inflicted harm