I want to feel worthwhile
I want a peaceful mind
that turns away from suicide.

I want life to be
my greatest accomplishment,
not death.

Every sip I take
Every bad choice I make
Nothing makes me forget
That every single time
..
I break

If I sit in a corner, they all think I'm sad
Fine, whatever
If I'd rather stay in my room, they all think I'm moody
I'm growing sick of this
If I don't feel like talking, they say "Oh, she's a teen"
Can you please stop?
Maybe I actually don't like it when you make assumptions about me
So as much as I love you,
Leave me be
Can't I just sit around and... normal?

I'm fine,
I'm just not fine at all.
I'm happy,
I just can't feel it.
How weird my emotions are,
messy and unapologetic.
Maybe that's the beauty of my soul.
It shines like anything,
but is dark as coal.

©rajgomes

I have no reason to be sad.
I have food on my table,
I live in a luxurious stable,
I’m not disabled nor financially unstable.
Everything I want, I had.
So please explain to me how I went all bad?

maybe we aren't fundamentally weak
but we just have a small fraction of a moment when we're weak
and in that moment, we lay in bed too sad to move a limb or we simply do not want to see the world beyond our front door
this is ok
we are not weak to the core we are weak in the moment

Maybe I will die today,
Maybe I am dead.
The song of day rattles in my head
As though it is the last
Of many faint tunes
Distant in blankets of snow
And tears ran cold.
And I think I am dead,
Lead me back for I am scared,
I know not where I step,
I know not of myself in this world
It all seems sad,
To wish death at mornings break
And to regret it within nights blinding dark