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352 · May 2018
I can't help but think
Nienke May 2018
these days felt so good
it should have been
something you got
so badly i wanted
so manly you gave
so sadly i miss
now you are gone
i just can't stop thinking
about the look in your eyes
when you said goodbye
the anger in your words
about your past, no dad
the warmth of your hands
when we strolled the streets
why would you give me
why would you like to stay longer
send me messages about coming over
when you do not want to see me
another day
i will try to let you fade away
each time you push me into silence
i just wish i could understand your game
but nobody is going to tell me
so i can only guess
and try to forget

it just does not feel right
346 · Jun 2015
Memory
Nienke Jun 2015
with passion
i pressed my wet lips
on yours
so i could taste
your tongue
soft and sweet
in a mouth full of drops
or somewhere between
two subtle tongues
when the sky fell down
on us
we
dancing in the storm
and heavy rain
jumping with the thunder
all we needed
we
between all
damps from the day
wishing to be naked
and free
like our bodies
during an evening storm
342 · Aug 2017
Acceptance
Nienke Aug 2017
who's me, and who's you
you made your decision
before we know the truth

i wish you shared it earlier
doubts and broken feelings
but now it's too late to push

maybe it's better like this
maybe this or maybe that
but maybe the maybe is me
the silent lake inside of this body

numb
indecisive
unstable
depressed

**** has been there for a long time
long enough to say goodbye?
i'd understand it, i'd serve
after a past you don't deserve

i wish you all the best
particularly happiness

i wish you'd have caused my silent waters
i'm just afraid it's not and i lost
my inner voice, in earlier days
the vibration of the forgotten lake

now i don't know where to look
maybe changing situations
but maybe, maybe it's you
because what i crave is to feel

love
passion
satisfied
invincible

i wish for so many things
people have no idea, they don't see
the lost and wasted energy
dried-up water in the desert

now analyse all of my feelings
let others tell me what to do
when the answer is simple

the world just doesn't work like that
like my imagination, golden visions

i thought i have no fantasy
who knows i have too much?
to get sad, not standing above it

well my heart can cry out loud
because of this cold hard place
where's addiction for the lost
and money for the wicked

i don't speak or read, but still feel it all
tell me how to ignore and avoid that
****, then i can only accept the fall
but i will never close my eyes

my passion to growl is too big
just like the world is too big
to change my tearing feelings
and feels too huge to accept

powerlessness
helplessness
hateful
opressers

maybe i'm here for a reason then
not to get bitter like them
not to become a walked over
forgotten ego or addict

gonna try to find the focus
the eye of the storm, right
they say a little ego is good
but it's also a challenge

not to let this ego grow
because of rejection or money
your religion or age
to obtain status or power

the world is a sad place

a Capricorn can just not give up
even not if none wants her, to be (there)
even not if it has to feel the load every day
it would feel as betrayal itself

and who's me, who's you
it doesn't even matter because
"you cannot change what you are
only what you do."
339 · Jun 2017
Rust
Nienke Jun 2017
let them carry
the heavy heart
two golden hands
moving with stardust
and up it goes
into the universe
peaceful there
no need
for anything
you can just lie down
and rest
for as long as you want
the pain will disappear
will be alright
when the heart is with
planets and starlight
338 · Aug 2015
The unknown
Nienke Aug 2015
sometimes it feels like i'm the one
and all the worry has a reason
i should do something here
something senseful
across the border
over the line
but it's all such a haze
can't see through my eyes
what's happening
maybe someone else can see
help me
the questions of life
i don't belong because
the most people don't let me go
and didn't let me.. so there i go
back into the closet of thoughts
there should be something more
can't believe i'm wrong
or this feeling wouldn't exist
at least not this strong
why am i here?
334 · Jun 2015
Burning skin
Nienke Jun 2015
my skin twinkles
sparkles white
on a red surface
then, out of sight
330 · Nov 2017
Eleminate
Nienke Nov 2017
how could i be so stupid
how could i be so blind

two years ago
you already told me, here

the doubts for your love
your love for me

now you've been just another lie to me
just someone using the best of me

now then go ahead with the woman
move with her to... and be happy

but don't tell me excuses
you did not know, did not want to hurt me

you did

with the silence, anger you left behind
your mask is still aching inside of me

i wish to eliminate the layers
remove all that's now, still not clear

still not knowing that one day
i'll be done with this burden to bear
323 · Sep 2017
Suffocation
Nienke Sep 2017
my shadow standing
in the light of the moon
straight and strong

i can not breathe
in a suffocating world
i will breathe
in a suffocating world

pluche and music
hold me tight, hold on
to all and everything
be forgotten
my soul
be
my soul
breathe
for a breath can let go
understand
a shadow can't
322 · Jun 2015
Birth
Nienke Jun 2015
i wish i could do more than this
i wish i could make you really happy
so you'd never have to face the darkness
never more. and i would **** for it..
but i know you won't let me

i whisper you my honest words
i have trust in you, your little girl
it will be alright if you keep faith
inside i feel the anger of injustice
and i simply stay calm and close

what evil dares to take such a big part
of your life, of your tender heart
they tried to fill it with black
i wish i could give her back
i can only give you red..

all good you exist of i return
meanwhile in your eyes i read
someone is still missing
someone is a part of you
i wish i could change it by kissing

now i know love, unstoppable
who deserved what years ago?
i wish to have known the possible
a little bit earlier in our existence
existing and making ourselves tired

so outrageous for the soul
but it also has made us grown
this crap has fed us with intelligence
for others unknown feelings, hatred
running blood in my veins

way too much salt water in my heart
it's easy to flow with all the sadness
but ain't gonna tell me to go back to start
it makes me strive a little bit more
because we deserve each other

i never want to be afraid anymore
i want to fight and improve
without losing something
i can fight and improve
without losing some thing

how i appreciate i can finally give it
and feel like it's me being able to live
someone was always missing
someone was a part of me
it was the love in me - i couldn't give
322 · Sep 2017
I'm scared
Nienke Sep 2017
the insects crawl over me
i have to keep them away

don't jump on me already
don't let the me decay
312 · Jul 2017
I don't need it
Nienke Jul 2017
what do you know about love
the craving, the salvation, the pain
what do you know about sensitivity
the feel of an unannounced last kiss
what do you know about desperation
a bleeding fist against a cold wall

what do you know about loneliness
a lost black cat between angry dogs
what do you know about gravity
the entire sun coming down on you
what do you know about sadness
a tear sunken in a lavender pilow

what do you know about loss
a dove that lost its feets to land
do you care? and why
why would you
if it's not there to nothing anyways
What can I even explain...
Nienke Jan 2017
ocean of misery
power and money
it's always the same
life
vague
that all is fake
at least it seems to
be
honestly
let the steaming mist
slowly fade away
306 · Aug 2017
Ouch
Nienke Aug 2017
in the depth of the night
i awake
my head hurts like my heart
am i betrayed
are there lies left to say

you find me upside down
knifethrower
put a knife in my core
need to discover
it doesn't matter anymore

it's only me now
face the emotional loneliness
be close to yourself
they say
and nothing less
304 · Dec 2017
Grot
Nienke Dec 2017
wolken voor de sterrenregen
als zij, houden van geheimen
een plek om te schuilen
bij zij die gelukkig zijn
geluk op een groot podium
301 · Aug 2017
How big is your room
Nienke Aug 2017
taking possesion of the space
it's all about you
in conversations
in actions, the do

some just feel helplessness
by commitments, cohesion
putting your ego higher
above the compasssion

seems not so easy for everyone
and maybe that's actually fine
if you can still think about another
without to erase the written line

between ego and men
take your space, your luck
but don't go crazy with one of the two
you'll see, you get stuck
292 · Nov 2019
Soledad
Nienke Nov 2019
responsabilidad y preocupación
dos cosas con su origen amor
no pueden encontrar un lugar
el cielo, la tierra pide atención
pero cada vez está rechazado
290 · Mar 2018
Untitled
Nienke Mar 2018
niet binnen de lijntjes
maar er buiten
wat vind ik fijn
ik, wie ben ik
prioriteiten
van binnen
van buiten
289 · Sep 2017
HelloPoetry
Nienke Sep 2017
here the flock of my poems
about everything i see
i write to release my soul
unleash me from reality
288 · Jun 2017
Silence
Nienke Jun 2017
oh how i envy him
no head full of thoughts
tiresome emotions
and sigh, and sights
overthinking human beings
in the beautiful moonlight
something flies over
a screaming owl in the night
for he has found a comfortable place
and the clock is ticking through
the running water of the river
but still he's dominating
silence
oh how i envy you
279 · Sep 2017
Chameleon
Nienke Sep 2017
when life goes like mountaintops
painted in different colours
when heart and head seperate
and emotions in a rollercoaster
go up and down, in cars apart
how can i answer
such a simple question
as "how are you?"
277 · Aug 2017
Bleed it out
Nienke Aug 2017
who would expect
the story to end like this
in which two lovers say
goodbye

for the greater good
for our inner processes
and still
reality hurts too much

but that is mine
oh sweetheart

my soulmate, you
still feel like my baby
but i have seen you grow
and i wanted this, too

i would say goodbye
for your happiness
that's how much i
have always loved you
272 · Jul 2019
Seperation
Nienke Jul 2019
but what if you leave
forbidden thoughts
filled with pain

where does it dwell
grief and sorrow
for it doesnt go away

leave me alone
a sense of safety
lonely, with restrictions

to love freely
what more i need
once to escape

these dreams filled with
lost teardrops
on your pillow

so much i love
so much i fear
my everything

to seperate

a child ripped away
from his mother
into the dark

falling into the hands
of a lost soul
my love, your playfield

i was your angel
with an ocean of love
but you wanted all the seas

the face of another woman
heartbreaks, goodbyes
again i dont survive

so a new heart with walls
who would be able to
break them down

all the protection, cameras
like suspected terrorism
now i regret

make me forget
what is pain, fear
lift me from the past

fighting forever to escape
a selfconstructed
prison of love
229 · Dec 2024
Impact of ego
Nienke Dec 2024
Why do people suffer
From another’s ego?
Why do they claim
Out of deep fear?

I hold on
To what feels real—
But who is real?
Still searching

It's hard to see
When blinded
It's hard to feel
When we resist

Ego fueling pride
a lack of empathy
What's the point
of being selfish?

**** your status
**** your beliefs
**** my beliefs
**** my needs too

We need bridges
Not more barriers
We see and tall, still
Act like animals

You crave connection?
Try the opposite
of being you, man
You don't have a clue

The impact of judgement
insensitive manipulation
The impact of ignorance
Is it you or the ego

speaking with?
again, tell me about your needs
when you don't even know yourself
216 · Dec 2024
Viento
Nienke Dec 2024
la gente ya no escucha
el susurro del viento
ya no observa
lo demás

solo nota a sí misma
pero perdida
en su reflejo, un eco vacío
grita sin saber

el ego, y yo
apaga como un velo
todo que pasa, pasa
sin ser visto
191 · Jun 2015
Untitled
Nienke Jun 2015
and then finally the rain
tears locked up inside
broken days of pain
thanks to my heavy heart
the moon and the wine
i'm getting so tired of
this dark poison of mine
now the snakes are gone
it seems too late..

she's tired, can't even sleep
the morning serves her
a new day to try
another day in vain
she is so tired of trying
but still dreaming to gain
total comprehension
no need for certain words
and lying dreams

dreaming dreams of an end
the end of the everlack
i feel a lot but it's stucked..
shall i ever have words?
and enough tears..
shall they ever leave me?
166 · Apr 2023
It's over
Nienke Apr 2023
i was so in love with you
everything i wanted to do
for a better us, a better you
but everything has turned blue

you always told me
'i don't want to grow up'
and this is true, it seems
you're still a child

hard to fix
i found out

a life without limits
a pocket without money
a lost and broken soul
afraid for mirrors

would you ever learn
from mistakes?
166 · Jul 2020
Universo
Nienke Jul 2020
cielo lleno de luces
una obra de arte
como tu
165 · Nov 2020
Walls
Nienke Nov 2020
dead passion
unnecessary pain
but who
is the one to blame

so sensitive
it makes me sick
the non response
a skin so thick

what happens
on the other side of the wall?
or are you waiting
for me
for us
to fall
148 · Sep 2024
El dolor me está comiendo
Nienke Sep 2024
ya no siento nada, dices
pero sé que es mentira
me has mostrado tu interior
esta noche borracha
transmitiendo mucho amor

te acercaste tan rápido a mi
a mi terapeuta le lleva meses
que me has cambiado
tocando defectos, ansiedades
que ya habia olvidado

soy débil, frágil,
ya no soy la misma
soy distinta a lo que era
y lamento haberte asustado
que ahora me cuesta ser casual
tras calentar mi niña congelado

la parte que conozco, tapo
porque no veo otra opción
prefiero seguir como la fuerte
y ayudarte a ti, tendria mas razón
pero mírame, sangrando,
porque no puedo, quiero ser fria

soy débil, frágil,
ya no soy la misma
soy distinta a lo que era
y lamento haberte asustado
que ahora me cuesta ser casual
tras calentar mi niña congelado

tantas inseguridades en mi vida
amor, tengo que decidir
si encontraré trabajo
si vuelvo a mi pais
si sigo viéndote
o si vuelvo a mi

soy débil, frágil,
ya no soy la misma
soy distinta a lo que era
y lamento haberte asustado
que ahora me cuesta ser casual
tras calentar mi niña congelado

y entre todos los pensamientos
estoy pensando en tus palabras
si quiero ser tuyo, asi podría ser

me llamaste, escribiste
en medio de la noche
si quiero, vendrías

por qué? enamoraste?

necesito a alguien cerca, dijo
me siento sola, dijo tu ex
puedo usar abrazo, dije
buscando amor
que una vez faltaba

y por eso parece que ya nos conocemos
y por eso sentimos cierta conexión
y por eso sí tienes sentimiento
y ni yo ni tu podrá esconder
de este diablo - reconocimiento

soy débil, frágil,
ya no soy la misma
soy distinta a lo que era
y lamento haberte asustado
que ahora me cuesta ser casual
tras calentar mi niña congelado

me tienes paralizada cariño
este dia que me puse a llorar
abriste una herida profunda
y desde entonces, no he podido parar
el dolor en mi pecho, insoportable

talvez es mejor que me alejo, sí
tengo que protegerme

pero ya es tarde, lo ves?
ya no me miras como antes
ya no me hablas con tanto amor
aunque no me tenias que dar
era lo que necesitaba, calor

no estamos listo
perdido en tiempo

soy débil, frágil,
ya no soy la misma
soy distinta a lo que era
y lamento haberte asustado
que ahora me cuesta ser casual
tras calentar mi niña congelado

la chica que conociste en la playa
esa soy yo: libertad
y quiero regresar, olvidar
espacio de verdad
no perderme en otro mar

nunca mas enamorada
del dolor ajeno

claro - queremos estar solos
seria más facil no sentir ni pensar
que nadie influye, confunda
pero no tenemos el control
esta vida, soledad nos controla

dejalo, dicen
deja todo fluir

el dolor en mi pecho
hasta morir

ansiedad de conectar
ansiedad de separar

uno somos, buscame
pero cómo dejar?

soy débil, frágil,
ya no soy la misma
soy distinta a lo que era
y lamento haberte asustado
que ahora me cuesta ser casual
tras calentar mi niña congelado
144 · Sep 2024
El jojo
Nienke Sep 2024
Más intimidad
Me gusta, dame más
Más intimidad
Tienes miedo, y te vas

Rechazo
Rechazo
Rechazo
Otro más

Ya no más
Ya no más vinculación
No temo que te amo
Temo que me amas

Y sin embargo me duele a mi
Sí puede doler, sin amar
Me rechazo
Rechazame más

Como un perrito
Esperando su dueño
Pero el dueño ya no vuelve más
Como sigo confiar en lo demás?

No quiero rendirme
Findes desesperados en la sofa
Quiero disfrutar tambien
Sola mi soledad

Abriste, te confie
Estupido
Soy frágil y necesito calor
Sin amor, entiendes amor

Pensaba que era mutuo
Que podemos hacernos un favor
Pensaba que sería bien
Vernos un poco menos, sin temor

Conocernos despacito
talvez no es para nosotros
Conocernos en seguridad
si seguridad es panico

Por qué me dejas encariñarme?
Si luego desapareces, egoista
Con tu miedo al compromiso
Con mi miedo de separación

Si no lo quieres
Que te vayas
Encuentra tu paz
Reemplázame

Que sepas que dejaste
Una mancha roja
Y extraño que había
La versión que eras
128 · Sep 2024
Bloedend
Nienke Sep 2024
Ik weet niet wat vermoeiender is
Het slaaptekort
De pijn in mijn borst
Ik ben bang, zei ik
Dat het niet meer weggaat

Je kwam in mijn leven
Opeens lag je daar op bed
Ik kon je niet weerstaan
Al snel opende je je hart
Die nacht dat je dronken was

Ik zag de pijn, het kind
Altijd sterk willen zijn
Je huilde in mijn armen
Ik had nooit gedacht
Dat bloed zo mooi kan zijn

Maar nu ben ik degene
Geraakt, het is te laat
Ik voel me weer als toen
net als jou, het kind
De leegte is terug

Is die van jou of van mij?
Ik weet het niet meer
Ik wilde dit helemaal niet
Ik voelde me zo lang goed

Misschien moest ik afstand nemen
Misschien moet ik maar gaan
En jij naar je vriendinnen
En ik staren naar de maan

Beiden slapen we met een beer
Maar hij is niet groot genoeg meer
En wij, een soort connectie
Iedereen wil zo'n connectie
Maar wat moet ik er mee?

Een borrelende traan
De verantwoordelijkheid
Het redderspakje aan
Rot verwachtingen
Alcohol en stress

Ik wil je niet teleurstellen
Ik vind het leuk, met jou
Maar het is niet gezond
Al weet ik niet wat wel

Mijn gevoel, een leugen
Ik neem je over liefje
Jij neemt mij over
Of we willen of niet

Ik ben stabieler alleen
101 · Nov 2024
Ciego?
Nienke Nov 2024
me pregunto porque soy ciego
siempre quiero ver lo bueno
me pierdo en tu mirada
tus palabras pero
que es verdad
76 · Nov 2024
Y la bestia
Nienke Nov 2024
belleza
en cosas pequeñas
grandes
bizarras y feas

belleza
cuando otros
ya han sacado
su conclusión

belleza
el sol para unos
la lluvia para otros
una rosa dolorosa

en medio de la noche
en una oscuridad eterna
cuando nadie
escucha

belleza
te veo y siento
entiendo
aunque no la ves, tu

belleza
la dejas entrar
en tu mente, solo
una vez

belleza
abre un corazón
y destruye
en paz
68 · Nov 2024
Untitled
Nienke Nov 2024
no te merecen
mi flor
si no te ven
ven
y sabras
que es aprecio

este mundo no
no esta hecho para flores
fragil como satin
en un invierno
sin fin
queda frio

toma ya
mi mano, flor
no dudes mas

que vamos
al campo
lejano

alla
donde
pertenecemos
64 · Dec 2024
houden van
Nienke Dec 2024
waarom houden
van iets dat weer gaat
dat iets is alles
en alles is eeuwig
voorbij
56 · Sep 2024
Untitled
Nienke Sep 2024
a trail of glitter
a heart of gold
a mouth so bitter
in a world so cold
54 · Nov 2024
Pisces
Nienke Nov 2024
eres como un pez en el agua
sensible, liso y intocable
intentando de superar
siempre luchando
en contra el anzuelo

buscando tus aletas
en todas las emociones
nuestras conversaciones
nadando hacia el superficie
pero sigues atrapado en la red

cuándo usarás tus sentidos
y reconocerás tus propias fuerzas
cuándo dejarás de tener miedo
por las aguas más profundas

no temas mas, pez perla
es más seguro ahi abajo
deja esta superficie ya
lleno de turbulencia

ahí en lo profundo
encontrarás
tu hogar
53 · Oct 2024
Untitled
Nienke Oct 2024
don't search for love
in places where you lost it

where did I lose love?
how? by losing myself

lay your empathy bare
let it be used, then abused

shattered

no limits, crossing borders
a certain frame around me

weakness

let them all lose me

MIS NECESIDADES
MIS DESEOS
MI VALOR

SIN TU VALIDACION
SIN MIEDO
SOLEDAD

and what else

who am i?
what do i feel?
what do we want?

don't accept no **** no more
50 · Sep 2024
Libertad
Nienke Sep 2024
quiero ser libre
pero no lo quiero
quieres una chica libre
pero no se si puedo
contigo
retroceda el reloj
49 · Nov 2024
Home
Nienke Nov 2024
i'm your safe haven
i'm your home
without fear
you share it
you store it
all
memories
thoughts
your struggle
inside of me
so it can be
forever
but who are you
still alone
go find your home
42 · Nov 2024
Done
Nienke Nov 2024
am I made to suffer
for other people's lives
was I created to help
this body to sacrifice

— The End —