I listen to the endless cries of cats at night
Lonely and helpless,
Abandoned and forgotten
Living in a narrow, deserted alleyway.
I’ve left cans of food for them,
But that’s not what they want
They want love
To feel protected and sheltered
By the sheer warmth of compassion
Some may want to be reunited with their mothers
Or from their owners’.
No matter how many times these poor animals were left out in the cold
Or met with the scorching rays of the sun
We’ve neglected them to the point where
Anything better than what they have right now will suffice.
The next time I hear their cries
I can’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of guilt
Part of me wants to take every one of them out of their miserable lives
But some of these cats had lives
Some of us overlooked that
Walked right pass a cat that belonged to someone who didn’t want them anymore
Threw them out like the piles of trash
In the alleyway.

Frantically looking around,
I start to realize
I am alone
I am with me
And only me
No one else around
To cover my eyes from the destruction
Of myself
Of what I make of life
Of what I continue to question
Overthinking is a burden for me
From time to time,
I treat overthinking as a reward system
Slowly giving parts of myself
To something that does not co-exist.
I mean,
What is time?
Why is it always ticking?
Why are we trapped in ourselves?
Is there a way out of this madness of something called a world?
Filled with pitiful human beings
We call ourselves
By names
Constantly labeling ourselves and others
I guess that’s what school has taught us
And that’s all of what early life is
Anyways,
I guess what I am saying is that seas can drown us out
Our mind can play tricks on our physical bodies
Making us feel things that aren’t real
Making us feel things for people who were never real
Or never close to what we’ve made them out to be.
Life is a rope
We’ve got to keep tugging at it
It is the only way we can see
If there is truly a way out
Or if what lies ahead
Is nothing short of millions of miles of distance
From a shore that is close to nothing
Is made up of
A black hole
Or maybe an abyss
A yearning
To see what’s at shore
We must continue searching
And never stopping, for anyone
For anything
What lays ahead.
What lays ahead?

Year one - in love with the thought of you
Year two - in love with the thought of you
Year three - in love with the thought of you
Year four - realizing my worth and getting the hell out of my head
It’s been a leap year
It’s been high school
Four years have passed us by
Or should I say, have passed me by?
A jump from beginning to end
Our connection is so severed
I’m drowned out
By stormy seas
Where I feel fossilized, completely and utterly oblivious to the progression of time.
Why did it take me so long to get over you?
Was I too scared to be alone?
Was I always alone?
Why can’t I talk to you the way I used to?
What excites you about him?
I have millions of burning questions
That light fires of why inside my head
Why me?
Why him?
Why not us?
Four years have passed me by
Now it’s all up to what’s next
What I make of
The next four years
Without you
In it.

They may never know
How you came into our lives
So effortlessly
When we needed
Something desperately
They may never know
How hurt she was before you
Healing her with your superpowers
Can’t tell you how do it
Make everything so well
They may never know
How some people come into our lives to leave
But you stayed.
Till this day
I can’t figure out
Why you did
You were given every chance
But it was like
Every time we broke you down
From the inside out
You still cared for us
They may never know
The pain hidden behind
The curtains that shadowed
Demons that exercised our bad intentions of you
Buried behind piles of lies
And excuses
Lay our meaningless lives
That is unfortunately what they may never know.

Your presence
Sends shutters down my spine,
An indescribable feeling
Made of fear and confusing pain.
An overwhelming feeling
Wanting to scream and shout



Help,
Help.

what gets you through
will always pull you out
no matter how hard
it feels
what gets you through
will always pave a way
for you
what gets you through
will always be there
for you
for what you feel
and for what you are.