Since lockdown, there is
virtually no road ****, no
dead foxes, badgers, or
rabbits on the wayside.

Since lockdown there is
virtually no refuse, no
Kentucky or McDonald
wrappers on the wayside.

Since lockdown, there is
virtually no pollution, no
no noise or exhaust fumes
or oil drips on the wayside.

Since lockdown there is
virtually no people, no
idle gossip or slandering
in groups on the wayside.

Since lockdown there is
virtually no spraying, no
herbicides pesticides or
fungicides on the wayside.

Since lockdown, there is
virtually no reason why
anyone would wish for a
re-opening. Of the wayside.


Ps.

I love Lockdown.

.
… and the look of fear
co-existing with pain
     on a contorted face
that knows
it is in mortal difficulty,
as ragged fingers

     clutch,

          clutch,

at a fire they cannot reach,
ripping agonies react,
     to an enforced cardiac episode,
as blackness closes in
gravity heaves its hardest,
but the fall is fake,
a red herring in the event,
     and the weight of the world

presses down, searching,
retracts
waiting,
presses down, searching,
retracts
waiting,

as breath is given freedom
in exhalation to the light,
     that slowly rolls back
the pitch hue of the void,
returning back images,
feeling,
a new belief,

          and the fire inside quietens,

                    and the fire inside quietens,

to the intense glow
     of a burnt aching heart.



© Pagan Paul (2018)

i'm your weakness,
your own personal drug.
I'm your high,
You're my low.

I sank.
Thinking it was safe to swim.
I drowned in every piece of you.

We haven’t talked the same in weeks.
I miss waking up in your arms and
Falling asleep after an early morning
Waking up when the sun went down
And the moon came up. I miss the feeling
I got when I saw you and you pressed your
Hungry lips to mine and I could feel the
Desperation and how much you missed
My touch in that time that we were apart.
I miss the way you called me drunk and
Hugged me tight with every goodbye, the
Way you pressed me against the wall and
Kissed me when they left the stairwell.
That rush of adrenaline when we had a moment
Alone and those smiling eyes when we got caught.
****, I miss you. I miss falling asleep with a smile
On my face and your kiss on my forehead. I miss
The way I first fell in love on that balcony at
That nearly vacant club, the first time you kissed me
How my heart stopped and my breath caught when
You leaned towards me. I miss the way you smiled
Against my lips when I laughed at myself. I
Miss the way your hands explored me softly
But hungry all at once. I miss the giddy
Feeling I got when you first asked me to
Spend the night, the way I curled up next to
You with my head on your chest with the feeling
Of your heartbeat lulling me to sleep. They tell
Me to move on but they don’t understand. They
Don’t know how hard it is to ignore all these
Things I miss and simply move on.

- I miss you

Overcomplicate me.

Make
Mountains
Out of my dust.
When I inevitably go,
Don't let me
Go easily.

I know what’s come over me
Yes, I know it’s true
I know what’s come over me
Yes, it is you
You, who changed my life
You, my living dream
You’re really the bomb
You always make the scene
I could go on and on

Life is very simple when sliced to the core
We all just need a love
That is how success you score
There’s really nothing more
It’s love and kindness
That’s what we have
What living is for

So, dear one, we shall carry on
Dance our days away
Entwined in each other’s arms
Always shall we say
How happy we are
How lucky every day
For that is what has come over me
Ever since you came my way