Blow out the candle
Let it go they say
Watch the smoke dance up in the air
And the flames leave
with a simple dance
As the wax hardens leaving a warm spot full of scented memories
But I don't want to let go
They can't make me

Saying goodbye
To someone you love
Is like reading the final page
Of an amazing book.

As the last chapter ends
You begin to notice
Just how beautiful
And perfect
The plot always was.  

You appreciate the joy
And even the pain
As you read and thumb
Through every page.

Finally understanding
The moral of the story,
You realize you've reached
The end of this journey.

Although the last sentence  
Is the most difficult to read
Another great book awaits
Once you turn the final page.

Eventually you may stumble
Upon yet another great find.
Or maybe you'll return
To the book you left behind.

You may just discover
Once all is said and done
That this particular book  
Was your favorite story
All along.

allow me to set the scene:
the lights are low- or maybe off-
or maybe you’re illuminated by each other’s smiles
and the dimly lit faerie lights draped along the headboard.
the blankets are pushed to a corner
and somewhere tangled in the sheets
are the clothes you showed up in.
the walls you’ve built have been completely
and irrevocably destroyed- but for once, that’s okay.
you can feel the weight of his ribs against your hips,
this is what you’ve been waiting for-
well not this, but him.
“stay” you whisper.
and of course, he continues.
you could swear everything is just melting around you
because you look at his face
and it’s like you’re somewhere beyond cloud nine
but this is not what you meant.
“stay” did not mean put your hands on my thighs
and keep going.
it didn’t mean keep your clothes off.
“stay” meant come lay down next to me
and hold my hand when you think i’m sleeping
it meant let’s fall asleep to the sound of each other’s laugh.
“stay” meant bare feet under covers
and space heater skin
I wish I understood how these emotions became ******* like this
it’s the *** before the feeling
but why does it have to be like this?
i always find myself apologizing
and wondering what’s wrong with me-
i can’t help that i find a deep emotional investment within people
i can’t help that when i look at you
i feel like every poem i’ve ever read
but it seems like you and i have been reading different books.

why do i always feel
like my chest is caving in
i stopped breathing a long time ago
every exhale leaves me empty
every inhale collects dust
the base of my spine cracks
like the spines of old books
and like old books i too am heavy
i too am quite a burden upon your bones
but please please i swear
my chapter titles are written
in gold calligraphy

I've been so curious
about people who burn down their home's,
and drive their families off of mountain sides.
The ones who take their live's, pack up everything and leave
behind the ones they cannot imagine living without.
The people who cause their own hurt.
The lucky ones who gamble everything away.
The ones who let their live's tumble down and blow away.

I've stood in front of this mirror and watched myself bleed enough times to know what a good thing is.

I still light the match and burn it all to the ground,
cross over the barrier fast enough to free fall,
break your heart time and time again,
leave you behind when I know
you're the only thing stopping everything from completely unraveling.
I put you down like a bet,
and lose you every time.

I **** us,
over and over and over, again.
It's no wonder why I hurt so badly in the middle of the night,
and can't trust myself with my own heart.
I do this to myself,
these are self-inflicted tragedies.

I love you as a deer loves the embrace of sun-dappled groves,
      An oak the earth, a robin the nesting crooks of leafy branches.
This love comes naturally.
You keep me grounded, and give me a home in which I am free to grow, entangled in you.

I love you as an eagle loves the lifting currents of the wind,
      A dolphin the waves, the tides the pull of the circling moon.
This love comes naturally.
You give me strength, the courage to strive to be a better person, not tomorrow, but today.

I love you like a lion’s roar echoing across the savanna,
      A moonlit kiss, Olympian gold glittering in the eyes of a cheering crowd.
This love come naturally.
You awaken my passion, stir my hearts’ depths unlocking feelings I’d never knew existed, till now.

I love you like no one I have loved before,
      And for reasons singularly different
      Than I will ever love again.
You are my rock, my muse, my fire.
I have never loved anyone
      So naturally.

I was falling for you faster than I ever had before,
You tore my walls down ,
by being yourself,
your embrace was my castle,
And you were the guard,
I blindly trusted you to protect what matters most to me,
you see ,
I guess we were not meant to be,
but what to I do with this half finished symphony,
I tattooed onto my heart,
your memory haunts me,
on the basement couch,
where you heard my thoughts in silence,
and held me as i cried,
after you discovered one of my demons,
In the campfire smoke,
that stings my eyes,
the same way the tears do  ,
You haunt me in the constellations,
I feel you as i sit amongst the grass,
we used to lay upon the grass,
tangled in blankets,
and the warmth of the other,
we used to talk,
we never did stop,
until you let worry silence you,
I don’t let what i can not control have power over my voice,  
I wonder what your doing,
I went from ridding shot gun,
to driving three cars behind,
you placed me in your blind spot,
now all I get are snapshots,
on Snapchat and Instagram,  
I’m left wondering who I am to you,
I hope I’m not just “some girl I knew”