Oh, I'm so completely and utterly
captivated
by crashing waves
falling from above,
as dark skies
threaten to swallow them

they keep on...

the weeds on their bodies
weigh heavily
temporarily—I beg
Most invasive species
I've ever seen

But I know
somethings
don't wash away
with waves

Pretty rocks in my eyes:
Softened by waves,
over time,
never yielding
And I don't know if I'm ready
for the Fall:

the cool winds,
the bold colors,
the elements
on Thursday
and the days
still coming

Oh, how I beg
...
keep on coming

Wondering—
Am (I) suicidal
or just a little;
sad?

Here comes
the summer.

The taste—
like glittering candy,
sweetness on your tongue,
salty on my body,
past the expiration date.

Another misstep.
Alabaster explodes
All over the front yard.

No escape.
A door—
another shackle.
Paint it pink.
another funeral.
Open a door,
fall face first
Into your own; grave.

Get high—
performing
In a smoky room.
But the note was off-key

Here comes
the self-loathing

You envy me?
envy the self-destruction...
envy the numbness...
envy the—

Don’t know.
Should (my sad); evaluate?
(I) already swallow enough—
I can(’t). I can(’t). I...
What’s one more pill?

Somewhere; between
punishment and pleasure
lies; desperation
to alleviate

just a little
Suicidal?
Sad

I told him
I’d like to die in Italy—  
A last meal rich with sauce and starch,
Wine, sweet and sharp
And a sunset setting over the vineyard

He asked,
“What about dolma in Greece?”

“With you?”
“With me.”

"I could eat—"

Wearing my blue dress—
the one that shows too much skin—
it’s a myth:
Artemis and Endymion,
sleeping sea, silent shore—
never touching, always returning,
sharing dolma in Greece.

He wonders
if we’d get along
in person,
in conversation,
sharing dolma in Greece.

Not that it matters.
But we’d be fine—
friends
sharing dolma in Greece.

The sun never has to set,
dancing, laughing, sharing
Dolma in Greece—

standing somewhere stunning,
but instead of awe or excitement  
that deep, hollow loneliness festers.

couples pose under the Sistine Chapel —  
bet they're hoping for happily ever after.  
I'm wondering who'll cheat first.

and maybe, yeah, deep down  
I wish I was part of the —

Carnival —
rollercoasters screaming,  
cotton candy sharing,  
walking past the merry-go-round.  
I'm the wheel going-round-and-round.  
There's only one way off, another round.

oh yeah, deep, deep down  
I wish I was part of the —

Chaos
a small, stubborn spark inside  
reaches —  
and it stings. it stings so bad.

What's the point?
I can feel it standing on my chest
What’s the point of somewhere stunning?
If you're standing all alone

oh, if you're looking for me,  
I'm crying in the church  
on some random Wednesday  
bending God's deaf ears.

I've never been very good  
at convincing people  
I matter,  
that a connection with me  
is worth their time.

oh, I'm a stranger standing somewhere stunning.  
oh, I'm a stranger.  
oh, I'm a stranger standing somewhere stunning.  
oh, I'm a stranger —

standing somewhere stunning,