You are the sweetest of my torments.
You're the tangible torture of citrus
The bite followed by the ****
Fresh and unbearable in the same instance

You're the lemon zest scent;
Sultry, as I quarter fruit
In my hot summer kitchen.
You're the juice in the cut
As the knife knicks my thumb;
The sweetness meeting the wild coppery tang
of blood in my mouth.

You're in the twist in my chest
That exists somewhere between my heart and my stomach
Both organs being wrenched apart...
When I see your picture
And remember that we haven't spoken in months.

I miss you
There I said it
Those words I promised to keep a secret
Locked away in my heart
Yearning to see the sun
To escape and tell everyone
My deepest secrets
And as I see you with her
Its then when I realize
I was stupid
And wrong
Because I remember
Your kiss
Your soft kiss that made my heart leap
When your soft lips connected with mine
And they danced
Oh they danced
Like two lovers dancing the night away
Because even though they both knew they should leave
They had each other
And that's all that mattered

I stay up at night thinking about the first time
You said you loved me
And I remember
The way your eyes lit up
After you finished forcing the words out
Because even though you meant every word that left your mouth right then and there
You were nervous
And I remember that because
After the words escaped your mouth
You kissed me
But this kiss was different
This kiss was so much more
It meant so much more

And I couldn't help but laugh
When your nervousness got the best of you
And you tripped
And we fell
You on top of me
And I remember this
Because it was then that I knew
You were all I need

And I so desperately wish I could have that back
But I ruined it
I was wrong
It wasn't for the best
I just didn't want to be broken

So now I get to sit here
Watching you be happy with her
Doing everything you did with me
But that's how it works I guess
So I'll just follow along with the script
Because its the only thing I can do
And its all I will do
For the rest of my life
I just have to face the fact
That I am and forever will be
*Heartbroken

Sitting in class
pinching my wrist
trying to focus
my eyes hurt
and itch from
all the crying
i did last night

Sitting at home
i put on my
happy face
acting up
like nothing’s
wrong and my
day went great

With friends
i laugh
with them
acting like
i’m happy
and without
worries

Sitting alone
music blasting
writing proems
thinking and
worrying, trying
not to cry
falling apart

*(s.m)

my troubled thoughts
keeping me restless
everyday i’m wondering
if my mind will ever find peace

*(s.m)

i'm just done
done with it all

i've cried and fought
so hard for years now
but now everything is falling apart
i feel it all crashing down beneath my feet

something is eating me up from inside
and i don’t have the strength anymore
to keep fighting back

i'm done

*(s.m)