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M Aug 2014
Five thousand of you read
My secrets
One thousand of you
Good Morning ***

How can I not mind
That you've all seen inside my mind
When nobody in my "real world" knows
The color of my eyes
5047 (Today I hit 5k)
M Aug 2014
Champion Roar
Winning Score

Gasping for air
Competitive Glare

Honored in gold
"Amazing" she's told

Feel the high on the high podium
Better than *****
Better than love
Better than some presence above
Better than any second of bliss
Remember, this life is hit or miss

A single tear of joy
Fears destroy
Simple Winner
Captain Stars and Gold Medals; Perfection within her
Once it's won
The long run has begun

~

Too Thin
Mortal Sin

Gasping for air
Unfair

Forced and Fed
Only water she plead

No moving in a single room
Worse than the tomb
Worse than pain
Worse than being insane
Champion Status locked; forced to reminisce
Remember, this life is hit or miss

A single tear
So much fear
The Olympics play on television
Athletes with such precision
She'll never go
Her perfection will never show

~

*State cuts made with cuts down her ribs
Times dropped with her weight
But five circles never appeared on her back
Oh, because she starved herself
1:06:06
M Aug 2014
I love you,* he said.
I love you, she heard.

*

I hate you, he said.
I love you, she heard.

He couldn't stay
But she couldn't bare to hear him say
I don't love you anymore
So, when he closed the door
Dinner at seven, she said.
Goodbye, he heard.

And her last words were lost
in translation, and their paths never again crossed.
M Aug 2014
What am I hoping to find?
My hands smell of cigarettes,
But the nicotine won't calm my mind,

I want to feel alive
Stuck in this world, but I'm blind
Because you left when I was five

Daddy's little girl, ain't so little any more
Can't quit smoking, can't quit drinking, a crazy *** drive
All 'cause she watched Daddy walk out with some *****

When she was small all was well
Even when she heard slam the door
All had to be well, so she wouldn't tell

Why are you back?
In the past, I don't want to dwell.
It's giving me a panic attack.

I'm sorry I'm drinking, I inherited that from you.
I'm sorry that I'm smoking, inherited that too.
I'm sorry I'm *****, guess the depictions of "Daddy issues" are true.
I'm sorry that I'm seventeen, and for everything I do.
M Aug 2014
Watch the rain
Tolerate the pain
She left me. No, she just left.
M Aug 2014
A decision made impulsively
Sometimes ends repulsively
But sometimes ends perfectly
And eradicates conformity

Look just a little more you
(When in fact there's less of you)
They look again and say that's WHO?
Open up their world view

When they see that people can change
Maybe it's dumb, but I feel like someone else two hours and four inches later
M Aug 2014
Oh, darling, my focus is unbroken
until I hear your call
Those few words you'd spoken
In the twenty twelve fall
Spin in my head slightly broken

Boy, I'll never forget you
But I ought to move along
You're welcome on this trip too
Sing with me my lyricless song
We'll search for the greatest view

Trust me, and the church of blue and green
Run through the ultimate adversity
and the ultimate strength will be seen
I'll follow you; invoke my curiosity
even through you're only eighteen

Oh, darling, my focus is unbroken
until I hear our song
an off-pitch love token
soon- it won't be long
before the truth is spoken

And I'll have to get out now
wait, slowly focus returns
as it will I vow
as the pills tip back and the incense burns
Take a bow

The focus is back and your love is gone
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