Crushing weight of heartbreak healing.
I am walking,
I am singing;
I am living,
I am being.
It's raining sunshine;
I'm sweating ice.
The painter is blind,
The pianist is deaf,
The poet is illiterate.
You are inconsiderate.
I am walking.
Ten miles yesterday.
One hundred miles an hour, looking for a way-
Some way- to keep myself alive.
I am singing.
Bourbon fueled ballads of confusion
Not quite dancing, my body is swinging
In ways reminiscent of your delusion:
Somehow you thought you couldn't thrive.
I am living.
I am soaking up Earth.
I am forgiving
You for my hell. I am acknowledging your worth.
Not everything of me did you deprive.
I am being.
I am in the present
I am seeing
Clearly, we came and went.
Now, I still hope for your well being.
For your sun speckled eyes to shine down at someone, one day, you'll love.
For your violent mind, one day, to calm.
Your pressured heart; your unfinished art.
For your captive spirit to be free again.
For the wanderer inside you to be found again.
The mountaintops we threw our brains over
The cities I traced for you
The shoes you laced, the adversity we faced...
I still hope
You find those things one day
In your poor racked brain:
Turn them over,
Read the dates stamped on the back
like old Polaroids.
Letting them dance through your mind
Inspiring new bounds, new footprints.
I know this will never reach him, I know he will never see his name across this screen. He doesn't care about me anymore. I still hurt immensely, but last night I found- for the first time- I hoped he could be happy.