I will plant you
fields of sunflowers
that spell out your name
if you promise to
keep them
in bloom.

Sometimes just being
comfortable with someone is
really just enough

10:55 AM
16/9/21

I now know that
I cannot live without love,
but love alone is not enough
to vanquish these demons.
They are not so easily repelled by love alone,
in fact they are not satisfied
by anything at all.
They feed on the darkness
and in this emptiness,
they make their home.

Dear Aria;
Merry Christmas;
I don't know how I got this far
without you but I
will keep going
for you.
I miss you.
I love you.

This heartache screams your name,
a thrashing storm that leaves
this heart in ruin.
Your thunder has
sliced open this heart
but these memories are made of sunshine.

The sun doesn't stop shining
just because we stop looking.
Why should you stop writing
if you think no one is reading?

I think back
to when we first met and
compare it to where we are now...
what happened?

I live my life through you,
it's incredible,
it's like I'm living two lives at once.
I may walk alone but our hearts beat as one
and I may sleep alone but we dream as one.
It's like I am in two places at once,
through you and me
until we reunite.

You’re all I have left
it’s the worst kind of theft
to lose a portion of your soul

I search and I search
from Pluto to church
Without you I’ll never feel whole

It's always going
to be a beautiful day
when you're on my mind

4:18 PM
9/5/22

Most people will never know
the burdens you carry,
all the demons,
all the sleepless nights,
and all the love and loss along the way.
They will never know
the hidden strength it took you
to get out of bed each morning,
to put on a happy face,
and to do it all again.

Take your eyes off yesterday
and look to me, the future.
Walk towards me, run if you must,
but do not be afraid of me.
Do not doubt yourself or I
and don't let yesterday hold you back.
Let go of the past, of all the pain,
the loss and the darkness and
do not look back.
You are close now,
I can feel you already,
come to me, the future.

To this day,
I can still sense you
in every sunray and
all its warmth you have shared
with the world.
Daughter of the sun,
it is with your light
this world doesn't seem so cold
so for the sake of humanity,
don't you take that away.

I don't want to know you anymore-
not how your day was,
not what you dream,
or even your name.
You cut me down and
I'm still climbing back
to who I used to be.

Is it really so
hard to believe that I do
deserve happiness?

11:20 PM
20/7/22

Nobody wants to
be sad but we're human and
no one's free of it

9:32 AM
19/8/23

We move on from
most souls we embrace,
But the ones that got away,
they are never really gone.
There they remain,
Roaming in the
distant cosmos
of our hearts.

Isn't it funny how
the days, weeks, months
never seem to change,
but looking back,
the years never
feel the same?

I am not
Paul McCartney-
I cannot let it be.

I keep our love alive by
Finding you in every sunflower.
It is in them that our love blossoms-
every word, every smile, every touch
held in every petal and
every seed.

Dear diary;
This lockdown has taken
my mind on a roller-coaster.
Up and down,
and everything in between.
I think I'm used to the vertigo
of this new way of life
and some days that's enough
of a victory.

Dear Diary;
another day,
another awkward interaction
that no one probably cares about...
except me,
of course.
Is it going to keep me up at night?
Of course.
Will it make me want to die?
Of course.

Why do I write about you
when you cannot see my words?
I do it because my heart
will not let me have it any other way.
This feeling may silence this voice,
it may even destroy me,
but these hands will continue
to write.

How can you say you're
empty when the universe
is inside of you?

6:15 PM
28/5/22

You are my sun,
and I am your moon.
Find your way to me across
the skies, the land and the oceans
and meet me at dawn.

All alone with the
voices in your head.
Now I'm face to face
with the living dead.

You placed your heart
upon my world and
a thousand sunflowers bloomed.

The page is a mirror
and each word reflects who we are.
These sentences are reflections
of our souls and
it can be euphoric
as it can be painful.

Every dawn,
I plant a sunflower in your name,
so that when dusk comes,
and a million sunflowers fill the fields,
our love will blossom
for years to come.

Words come and go but
feelings do not change, for they
remain fossilized

10:50 AM
24/9/22

All my worst fears came to be
the day you turned into a succubus
and devoured this heart and soul.
I was helpless watching it
all come crashing down.
And I had no one to blame but myself-
I chose to focus on your human side and
ignore the subtleties of what you really were.
Deep down I had always known and
I wonder was it love or was it
your strange powers that
let this guard down?

When life gets you down,
there's always that one person
who will be there
day after day.
So what happens when
they fade into
the night?

If some *******
should say we had a history
of any sort,
kick them in the head.
And if some *******
says were were in love,
kick them in the head
again.

The sunflowers
whisper your name
as they spell it in the fields.
They gently sway
as the scent is carried in the wind
and I am once again reminded
of your love.

I want to give water
to the garden of memories
and flourish these
withered sunflowers
that kept me warm
so very long ago.

Dear diary;
tonight,
my memories
are my moon as I
sit beneath the stars
basking in the twilight
of you and I.

Every love story
turns into tragedy if
you wait long enough

4:04 PM
12/4/20

I am still learning
to give what you made me feel-
love and all that's nice

19/5/22

I regret to inform you,
but I'm not home anymore.
I have left that place and all
the memories that remained.
One day I hope to forget
all the pain stored inside
the place I called my home.
Indeed, I have moved away from you
and I am not looking back.

Don't believe a word
if their actions never speak
the absolute truth

5:06 PM
17/3/21

I have long
forgotten the warmth
of the summer days-
inside my heart,
there is an
endless
winter.

I am still enduring the pain
from loving you.
I loved you so much that
my soul was set aflame.
and I had to burn a thousand times
to be born again, and to forget you.
And just like the phoenix,
here I am, I am reborn.
Now I ache for all that love
I did not know how to
restrain with you.

I do believe in
monsters and demons and they
live in you and I

11:23 AM
4/4/21

I do not wait for you,
but I am all you have and
all you will ever know.
I can distance you from people,
but I can also bring you together.
I can heal wounds and I
can open up old scars.
I am time.

To taste her lips
is to drink her soul.

How can forgetting you
be an option when your love
remains in this heart,
infused onto this soul?

I just try to keep
myself busy so that I
don't feel anything

11:40 PM
20/3/21

The sea
is shallow,
as is the Grand Canyon
when compared to how deep
my love is
for you.

How time flies
when my lips meet yours.
I close my eyes and
time does not
matter anymore.

Is it a blessing
or a curse
to find poetry in
anything and everything?
To seek out its beauty,
its faults,
and everything in between?
One might call it a gift,
but me,
I'm not so sure.