Spoil her until her she's rotten and grey
Until her eyes only see roses and honey and milk and love
Tell her ugly face that she's ravishing, alluring even.
Blow her mind out the windows of her car.
**And then complain about everything she is.

Glad to know love?
Or
Sad that I knew love?

Your eyes are summertime
I hate summer.
Summer leaves me lonely
And so will you.

After junior high,
I met this guy
Who only seen stars and dollar signs
He kept his clothes clean, his shoes white
and everyday invited me to get high
Some days I envied his independence
Though I came to find he was friendless
And his smokey afternoons were spent alone in
his room at home
exhaled out of windows.
Some days he told me things that others would often doubt
But when I agreed, he'd shut me out
I didn't mind it much.
He didn't know how to love.
That subject foreign to speak of
a silent agreement between us.
The dollar signs and stars crowd his heart
I don't blame him at all.
We are the same with our roaming souls and cloudy brains
not from the smoke but from becoming insane.
Insane in the most unique way

How is it that you're legally blind..
Yet you see the most?
Is that why you can never sleep?
Words that claw at you like ghosts?
Cold metal against your lips
Muted against sleep paralysis
And rusted chains telling you to listen
how is it that your heart is banged and bruised
yet  bitterness never seeps through?

Being loved is a weight that bends my bones.
And it's only a matter of time until I'm broken.
To be loved means worry
And I can't have you worrying about me.
Until my bones heal, I cannot reciprocate your love.

Your body...it's beautiful.
You don't believe me.
Stop hurting yourself like this
You won't stop.
Eat something.
You won't.
Snap out of it...
I can't.

Catching you was one thing ...
Keeping you was a whole different story.
Time after time again, you left me..
You left me with numb and swollen lips..
Bruised thighs and hips...
You came back every time though, so I smiled
But you left trembling hands and trailed hickeys
You left traces of you on my body
Every time you left, you left proof that it wasn't a dream.
You left traces until they faded..
And one day you faded...
You left.

Was this what you meant when you said
that you wanted me to feel something?
Because now i’m sitting on the bathroom floor and my
hands are shaking while hot water pours from my eyes.

What did you mean when you said
that you had nobody?
   Because as you said that, I was standing next to you
in the same hole,
the only difference was
that I was covered in cuts and bruises
while you were suffering from
your very first cut.
A nick from your own razor.

While i watched you bawl on the ground,
i felt grateful in some kind of way.
Grateful for the fact that life never
gave me a chance to be so
naive and unguarded,
the blades become a sort of release to remind you that you can still feel.

Who did you want then?
When I stayed.. and you refused my help?
And why did you hate me when I left?

The stars are always too bright
The sun too hot
Moon too dull
It's never good enough is it?
                                                What's your problem?

Well the walls sometimes wake me up
                                     And write my fears in red
Well the mirrors sometimes put me to sleep
                                     And tell me, "stay home today"
Well other people make my stomach turn
                                      And so does isolation.
Well I'm only ever grounded with certain people
                                        But people leave.
                           And where will I go then?

A bit too late I suppose
These cold feet are always slipping
And I simply observe the way you look at me
while I fall apart.
Obvious as it seems
I cannot get a grip
I'm beginning to think that
there is some joy in
Simply observing the way you look at me
While I Fall Apart

You live to tell stories;
so that you can tell somebody important
so that they'll put you on a pedestal
to listen closely for words of amazement and admiration.
You live for the satisfaction of other people
base your value on their comments.
they determine your price tag
Tell me
what will you do when they no longer care?
Where will you go to be admired?
When the world is done with you
and on to the next and
all you have is the past
memories that only played fillers...
that meant nothing but
a trophy to you
they lose their worth,
wrinkles and scars mark your skin and your heartbeat slows
Did you live for you?
or the judgment of someone else?

"Baby the moon is huge tonight
it reminds me of your eyes."*

But I was looking for shooting stars.

Yeah, it was your smell that did it.
You smell like my childhood, not the scary smells though
More like the mountain air and swing sets.
And then I think your voice got stuck in my ear and echoed its way into my dreams.
Your glare terrifies me, almost as much as it reels me in.
You've gone and carried me onto your back, so I don't even know anymore..
You're all I have now.
You're all I need.
It's a bit unnerving....
Where do I begin and where do you end??

Pretty lights reflected
in your dark eyes
and at the center was me.
I could've been your world
I know.
But we were worlds apart
You know.
You were missing me
I know
I've been a mess
You know.
So stay where you are and don't look back
**Promise You Won't Look Back