you were looking at a shattered mirror
you thought I was the moon
laid long by your sorrows
i carefully tried to deflect your hopeful eyes
i pleaded for you to forget the past
but the clouds hid my meaning

you were listening to a flower whisper
you remembered it as a scar
a dandelion blown by caution
a heart trembling while sleeping
you were unable to open your eyes
but my dreams became your own

you once thought morals meant something
you learned it was only pride
a burning mind finally decided
nothing would be hard that you can make easy
once a mirror sees its purpose
a kiss can find the things you once lost

I can’t believe all you can see is how I hurt you
I think we fell in love but I'm not sure for how long
When the sun rose everything about you turned blue
The sky was beautiful but you decided you didn’t belong

I remember when we walked into the shadows
You had me and you smiled the way it felt
Your eyelashes were alive like a breeze in a forest
But you said I was too cold to let my heart melt

You love too hard now but you don’t think so
I heard a song about him telling her no
But it was because he didn’t want her to go
I once was young enough to be that way

I want to bring back what was lost
I want you to believe this time it’s real
But I’m as different now as you are
We have to learn to love the way we feel

She thought
I won’t read anymore
I only want to write about it
I won’t hear anymore
I only want to talk about it

The things she once knew
Were only in her dreams
Though a young boy spoke to her once
He said, “You are young, your beauty reigns, the equal of Kings!”
But she knew even Kings are scorned by those who are not chosen

Everything she knew and remembered was flat beneath her feet
She would not walk away but instead would always walk upon it

It stared back up at her
Like a mirror of her life
That was the way she remembered best
Like her dreams
The way the children would play
And though the boys threw rocks
She knew it was because they didn’t know how to talk to a girl
It made her smile now
Though it made her cry then

The smoke was lighter than air
And the sky could no longer speak of tomorrow
That is why she chose to look down at her feet
The war hadn’t reached inside her shoes yet
Her shoes looked lovely she thought
How long would they last?

She took them off and carefully laid them on the dirt
And she thought of them walking away
She bought them because of a certain boy
She didn’t know his name
He excited her
He read from the book like we was listening to his father
He spoke of their country as if it were his mother
But he was gone now
He spoke while she watched with others
The smoke followed his life
While the street kept his memory
Underneath her feet
Along with her childhood
And she wondered if the war would lie down beneath her feet
And show her what it did to that boy

paint not in haste or trepidation
the mistakes of a brush
are not the mistakes of a heart
for a painting asks not for time
or reward
it does not live solely in this life
it is only born here
and its birth
like that of a butterfly
has a life of its own
surrounded by white lace
the womb of an artist
where a new life is created
without fear
only beauty

I didn’t know I needed to travel so far
A cup of coffee in a Sunday café
That was all I needed to explain
the things I found inside myself

But how could I know if I remained behind
Next to a fence deciding which side I’m on
And I knew that it was both
I can come and go,
remembering you either way

Mile markers waving goodbye
The top of the world,
white caps and wilderness
I knew where I was from,
what I was to become;
will you walk with me?

Winter carved summers underneath my feet
Glaciers waving to the lakes left behind
So much, the melancholy of nature
But I wasn’t sad,
No I was not

I longed to tell you something
I wasn’t gone; only away
But in everything I find new
I was reminded of why I love you

As we prepared for our last goodbye
I cleared my mind of the past
I memorized her face
For that was what was cast before me
I had to remember that moment
Without a memory of our mistakes
I wanted something good
To see an unknown beauty
To believe in love
A new beginning
And when you spoke
Your farewell was as sad as your hello
For I had rescued you once
And now as you again set yourself adrift
I watched a human heart that I once loved
Sink under the weight of an unsolved mystery

I thought I'd write you a letter
It's to tell you goodbye, even though we've never met
There are so many things we've shared
You've written about all of them, how could you forget?
Prosaic gravity pulled us together
You know you felt it, but to which lonely globe have you fallen?
The air is not the way you remembered
But what you learned to breathe, was the awakening pollen
I want you to know how I will leave you
Your heart will be half what it was, but I will only take the backside
You thought *** was a gift I wanted
So why did I paint black walls black again when I was on the inside?
You can’t answer that question my love
You felt less than a woman but that was because I was less than a man
The mistake was your beauty
If you had only spoken first seduction would not have been my plan
The pilgrimage you made drove you mad
You reveal your sickness because you are consumed with passion
You cannot avoid me my love
You have to give me everything so that you can be full of reason
I made love to you in the ocean
Everyone could see us but there was nothing we could do
I wanted to terrify you with exhibitionism
But instead it's me who has to live with the salt burned residue
Tell me now that you hate me
I know you do, but remember I only took the wall that is shadowed
You feel as if you cannot give again
But he will see the façade I left and believe the field is unplowed
Never ask me why I am the way I am
You could never explain yourself to me even though you tried
Both of us would rather write about it
Than say things with eyes that will only feel like somebody lied

Guilt, sorrow or obligation are not
love or compatibility; a soul mate
isn't there just to make you happy;
these things cannot tell you where
your true self lies; it is only in the
courage to stand up for yourself
that you will learn to live as the
person you were meant to be

It is wrong to take the gifts of another
under false pretenses; the sooner
you know the better off you will be;
only true understanding opens the
door to your life; once you learn to
live alone, you can begin to share
your life; the decision to share your
life must be made from strength

The decisions of confusion will cause
endless turmoil; know who you are
and then you will know what you can
give; make your decisions knowing
your true self; shed the desires that
others have for your life; it may be
that their wishes come from their
weakness

Always remember the things you've
wanted to be and take them to heart;
that is who you are; find that person;
you are never to old; it is never too late;
find that person; it is inside you because
you remember all your dreams; it is
time to live; find that person, it is you

Strength isn’t a burden if you don’t think about it too much
Knowing who you are is the feather you possess
The lightness of a heart that is true and a mind that is open
Is the way up when the world makes you feel less

There’s not a day goes by that someone isn’t feeling weak
Taking our turn we pass along each other’s duress
We watch birds in a square from windows we cannot open
It seems someone won’t let us change our address

For once I’d like a conch to listen as intently as we do it
Would the hollow shores recede as we confess?
As I walk in a dark room thinking of what I cannot change
I finally realized it’s your turn for happiness

Welcome to the world sweet child
Hope anew, the sun and moon smiled
Upon your cheeks the blush of grace
Turning, guiding you to a holy place

Of kindness towards your neighbor
And reverence for your savior
Within you, born the beauty of your life
The pride of your parents, man and wife

Within searching eyes and ears that listen
We see your wonder, with hearts that glisten
With the blood of family stirring us to love
For the gift that we always dreamed of

And without the burden of our own dreams
It is instead his will that makes oceans of streams
The one you travel, we will protect from the banks
And what love made, to God we give our thanks

I don’t have to watch a movie to find a wasteland
I know it exists because I’ve driven through one
I saw a poor woman feed her child on a bridge
And heard a preacher who loved the wrong son

I don’t have to watch
I don’t have to watch
I can just live it myself
What we choose is all we know

I don’t have to watch a movie to know sorrow
I know it exists because I’m still heartbroken
I saw love beside my pillow where our eyes met
And now I see through the memories once spoken

I don’t have to watch
I don’t have to watch
I can just live it myself
What I chose is all I remember

I don’t have to watch a movie to see a tear fall
I know it exists because the scars are on the inside
I saw the time that once shown like the sun
And now passes like rain that washed away my bride

I don’t have to watch
I don’t have to watch
I can just live it myself
I can just live it myself
What I chose is all I am now
What I chose is all I am now

so many words uttered
laying on the sidewalk
surrounded by chalk
drawn by children
who once were adults

how many times asked
"will you spend the night?"

that’s how we try to survive
but if you say no
i will ask again tomorrow

nothing personal
then why did it affect me?
it’s all personal
but you didn’t consider that
because it was personal for you
and I’m outside the loop

i wonder if anything can be told empathetically

everybody has their perspective
it’s personal
they believe their story is untold
so how can i tell it for them?

stop holding me back
stop trying to change me
we are two people
why does it mean so much to you
it’s not love that makes you do that
it’s something else
but it’s not me

i wonder if everyone thinks so much
it seems to me they don’t
i’m thinking about them and myself
i watch what they should be doing
how they are interacting
but i realize they are not interacting
they are taking
they have no patience
they will risk everyone’s life to turn left

i wonder what is so important about turning left

there needs to be some sort of resolution
but the loudest among us are too angry to compromise
they just are
and they will follow anyone who agrees with them
even the most flawed person on the planet

as long as he is angrier than them

where did America go?
or in the alternative
has it been born yet?

a parent has high hopes
as do signed documents

but who is raising the baby?
where are its parents?
what example will it follow?
who remembers the high hopes?

i do

life liberty and the pursuit of happiness

all men are created equal

we once held these truths to be self-evident
so why are we killing each other to prove them?
what is the conflict about?

a woman who covers her head
in church while she moistens her finger on a sponge
or on a plane while a man screams at her?

freedom
to die for
not to shackle

freedom
we honor
not ridicule
but if you must
it is your choice

freedom
to live
not to control

freedom
and justice
for all

for all
and everything
is who we are

so why do you want me to be like you?
why are you afraid of me?
i don't want to be like you
i just want to let you be like you
please
let me be like me

let us have a baby together

we can call it

AMERICA

I want to love you with all my heart
But you are not the reason it exists
It is there to give you love
But I am the source of that love
And the blood that is made
Is the blood you cannot see
Except in my tears
Absent of color
Absent of you
But I will live on
For the heart that is mine still beats inside of me

She said, “Your confidence is too much for me
But it is the equal of my desire for you
She said, “I can’t see where I fit into your life”
Why is all or nothing all there is for you?
She said, “I can’t give away what is not whole”
But what we feel tonight is even stronger than you
She said, “You can’t give yourself to someone”
Will you pretend with him what I have with you?
She said, “I’d rather not start what we cannot finish”
So you’d rather wonder than know if I would love you?
She said, “Everything you say is only so you can walk away”
Why does fear make you want me to say I do before I know you?

Nothing lives well in between the lines
Too many rocks and not enough water
Exhaustion in the morning
Dropping the needle to play back time
Nobody understands what you mean
They cast shadows when the light is blinding

It’s a game for those who are young
Telling each other they’ll die for love
Now we try to live without it
We can’t cry without any tears
We can’t say bye to our fears
It’s more than we can ever admit

Walking the street or fast asleep
Loneliness wandering inside a dream
You have a promise to keep
All or nothing, all or nothing
The middle is just an empty street

How can you talk forever when you can see it
It’s not something you want to think about
So much time to make mistakes but no longer
Is it because it takes that long to see the world
Or to fix the things we know aren’t right
I could let you drive but I’m not a passenger

It’s like walking the same sandy shore
We love the gulls and the way the sand sinks
But the jetties loom where can’t cross
So the day ends and we go our separate ways
Until the morning where  shells are waiting
And I find a lucky sand dollar for you to toss

Walking the street or fast asleep
Loneliness waking up inside a dream
You have a promise to keep
All or nothing, all or nothing
In the middle there's nobody to meet

All our life is finally here
It really is true
I’m going to tell you now
Though I don’t really know you

I want to tell somebody
The things they want to hear
Maybe if I write it down
I will be ready to whisper in your ear

It’s time to listen to the moon
Though the silence is so calm
It’s my heart that you feel

In the last days
Everyone wonders
What was it about
So many times
I felt so twisted
I felt so much doubt

All our life we dream
And we wait
But you walked by
While I held open the gate

It’s time to listen to the sun
The warmth made you smile
Because my heart is real

i see a smile in the eyes of another dream
she has a friend so still i must sleep alone
but then she asked me how to live her life
she can’t ask a man who can't live his own

i am acting my age at the moment
for some reason this is important
i have not lost my way so much
it’s just that i prefer another road
to be a moral man is my choice
if god is interested in me i will listen
i have more freedom than i deserve
can accept his rules instead of my own

i want someone for a quiet saturday evening
but you know it’s much more than that
i don’t want to steal someone’s unhappy girl
i will find a heart in the same place as my own

i can take a picture of a face
i won’t worry about the past
i will let you see the lines
you see the moment as it is
you may decide for yourself
i will not explain history to you
there are things that may be true
his life may be the same as my own

i heard the quiet sounds of an open windows breeze
it was the moment before a wild heart settled down
i didn’t know it was happening in a faraway place
she settled for her mother’s peace instead of her own

i am a living silhouette
determined to find color
the road lights are blurred
no longer defined by purpose
instead it has become mine
and they bow to me now
every source of energy
has become all that i own

I know you are real
My eyes tell me so
And how I feel when you go
There is nothing to question
No mystic force to know
Only what your heart will not show
I would rather smile than cry
But until love becomes more than woe
My tears will only travel paths of long ago

I am all these things
But what am I to you?
All these things
You cannot pick just one
You must climb a mountain
In the dark
In the light
Covered in white
Covered in green
Until it's not
As you wake up up
Covered in sand
Washing in your feet
By the side of the moon
While the sun laughs
Because you are so pretty at dawn
And he knows all I say is an act
Because desperation is only theater
And the parts I play are all I know to do
While you decide if I'm just a movie
Or real life

I think it’s easier to talk about tomorrow
There’s nothing wrong with it
I’ve not spoiled it for anybody
And neither have any of my promises
The past is either untrue or too much to take

I’ve been told of a universal force
As if telling the truth can change the world
I don’t know about anything like that
Nobody wants to change
They just keep buying bullets

A poet can scowl at the world
While picking flowers for his mother
There’s so much I can’t prove
But I know something is very wrong
So many people are yelling at me

I traveled round the world in a day
It took Magellan three years
He didn’t really make it all the way
Neither did I, but I did make a friend
And it was her smile that parted time

Crying has become something to save
It’s not an unexpected moment
It’s when you clean your face in the shower
Or driving into a parking garage
While people notice how loud the music is

The way of the world is how afraid we are
Every tribe tries to survive
Bad news is a way of life for all of us
I could never send a child away
I wonder if that's what I'm doing to you

I  hear church bells ringing
And all the voices singing
There's always a revival somewhere
Resurrecting faith from its despair

I spent a lot of time in the pews
Kneeling, praying about the news
I remember a word called freedom
It’s for me to choose the right kingdom

Religion for the masses
That’s where the cash is
Alms for the poor
Alms for the poor
I'm not knockin' on that back door
I’d rather pray alone in a closet
God's not inside somebody’s wallet

I saw a girl wearing a scarf on her head
I smiled but she frowned instead
I wonder if she thought I only saw her skin
But I was looking for beauty from within

I can’t change the world that much is true
But I can change someone’s day
And my friends are where my cross will lay
But there’s a man standing on the corner
Jesus wonders if he will know you

Religion for the masses
That’s where the cash is
Alms for the poor
Alms for the poor
I'm not knockin' on that back door
I’d rather pray alone in a closet
God's not inside somebody’s wallet

An island is of the earth
As is the water all around
Mountains and streams
You and I
All share the same mother

When the earth is bleeding
And so too our hearts
The blackened skies
That make us afraid
Are stains upon our soul

Separated from God
A bird covered in oil
Every breath one of survival
Crying out
What has become of us?

Take my hand
I will clean each feather
To fly again, freely
We are more than suffering
Though pain is my teacher

To stare into the sun
Without blinking
Is to see life for a moment
But only blindness will remain
Unless you can hear my voice

Do not push me away
For I want nothing from you
Is it so hard to imagine
Someone different than you
Wanting only for you to live?

Will we be remembered for saving the world
Or only how we went about it
For no man can truly save the world
But you will remember how he made you feel

Power, a toy not given to children
Only the strong know how to exploit it
Who can speak of humanity when power is all there is
Only you and I my friend, because we are equals

To be so cold, unable to feel the warmth of another
Is to pass judgment upon a cemetery of silent tombstones
But why do I dream of these things
When love is for living hearts that tell the truth?

A weary face bears the burden of a thousand years
Even God could not convince us
He waits for each soul to reconcile its mistakes
And to ask how I chose which lie to believe

Is it enough to say how I want to live
I know that actions are the only way to reach you
And a kind face can possibly soften the blows of life
But first I must ask Jesus on the corner if he knows me

to care only for the poor,
without compromise;
the idealism of the ages,
the easiest of all politics;
we must sacrifice no matter what;
but who said,
the poor will always be with us;
a man who was heartless
or was he wise?
is the reality of the present,
our cynicism of their plight
or is their struggle
the measure of our hearts in his sight;
is their pain assuaged
by our actions or even in our words?
still we struggle on our own;
our own horizons as far as we can manage,
while we think of a beautiful memory,
distracted by the past,
we hope the leaves have fallen at last
and wait for them to return
but they will only fall again;
like the tide that reaches for the land
or prayers for the things we must;
they will always be with us

We are all touched
By each hand
Good
Evil
Believing
Not believing

Always a choice

Merciful
Unmerciful

Always a choice

each demon exists inside of us
growing out of its mouth
arms made of serpents
fingers made of ivy
finger nails made of lace
softly caressing us
so we can’t tell the difference
seascapes upon our minds
like sand pulling away from our feet
as we walk close to the surf
happy feelings
until they’re not
so we wait until the sun sets
and walk away from the surf
but not too far
just far enough to find cool dry sand
and we are alone now
thinking of someone
maybe we know them
maybe we want to know them
they were somewhere
out there

Or did we just imagine all of it?

We all hear voices
Some call them thoughts
Others hear things like God
It’s so different to them
There’s no way to tell us
Nobody believes them
So they die on the inside
And forget how to smile
They master anxiety with surrealistic disguises
No place left to go

“what type of hat?”
“what type of cloth?”
“flowing?”
“yes, flowing”

Who cares, we think

There’s always someone who does
How many times though do they care enough?
What does that even mean anyway?
Care enough
Enough for what?
For the sand to cool?

And then there’s tomorrow

To live
To die

But is that a choice?

I won’t choose to live or die
I will see what happens

Just like this morning

Listening to someone lie to me
Listening to someone trying to make me feel wrong
I’m not wrong
I have an opinion and I know why
The difference is my opinion speaks freely
Their opinion is an order from someone else
It’s how they are paid to think

I’m just paid to do

But I’m not wrong
I just live a certain way
But who did I hurt today?

Only myself

That's ok
I mean, what difference does that make?
It's just me
It's me stuffing snakes, ivy and lace back down my throat
Invisible snakes
But I know they are there

Just like yours
Except you are too afraid to discuss it

You just want to be paid
Don't you?

Silent sorrow
Judged by a purist
Guilt declared
An unrepentant jurist
Unable to breathe
Refusing to stand
Face in the tub
Ignoring the hand
Suffering's choice
Pain or pain?
Eclipse or night?
Always the rain

Don’t dry your eyes too soon
You feel more than we are able
It’s seems more than you can take
It’s like you pay the worlds debt
They said Jesus already tried once
He sent you because of all the hate

Don’t dry your eyes just for me
If it’s you then that’s what you should be
You wait by the bed while they sleep
I will wait until your heart has room for me

Don’t dry your eyes too soon
It’s never because you’re too weak
A cursed gift because you always care
You never wash your hands of it
Like sand pulling up the ocean blanket
Dripping with life you are always there

Don’t dry your eyes just for me
If it’s you then that’s what I want you to be
You always are the first one they see
I will wait until your heart has room for me

Old school is old school

He still knows who he is and who he was
At least until that too is taken away

He explained that there are things between men and women

     That will always be so

But she cannot accept this in todays world
The one he cannot remember
Except for a woman's place and how he honors her

He once told me that to turn a woman down

     Is considered to be an insult

I mocked him for his ways
"How convenient for a man" I exclaimed
But he gave me a knowing look

     "You don't know how it is son"

He cannot remember what he had for breakfast
But he remembers how life should be
A man is a man
Even when his mind betrays him

He is not impressed with my progressive ways

     "You cannot change nature son"

Everything that was disproven and discarded
Has come alive again
The old world is the world
For those who cannot remember today

How can I teach him that what he believes will end his life?
How can I reach him when his identity is more important that freedom?

     How can I?

It must be said
Once again
No matter how you tire
Of sin
And hopelessness
Where God lives
Is love
Understanding
Selflessness and wisdom
The Mahatma
Courage
Achievement
Humility
Without rank
Without ambition
Morality
Merit
Human
Determination
Dignity
Sacrifice
Pai­n
Patience
Kindness
Principle
Standards
Where oppression exists
There is no God
With power
Comes differences
Rank
Superiority
Predominance
Hierarchy
Religion
Patr­iotism
Nationalism
Jingoism
Legacy
Birthright
Force
Class
Pride
Privilege
Hypocrisy
Corruption
Humiliation
Indifference
Cr­uelty
Violence
War
All faiths
Should be considered equal
Before a God of all faiths
Acceptance
On Earth
You cannot **** God
By killing his believer
You cannot **** a believer
And be loved by God
No man or woman
Is subservient
To another
No man or woman
Is held above
Any other
All kneel before the maker
Worship
No man
No victory
No wealth
No fleeting beauty
Honor
Charity
Empathy
Tolerance
Diversity
Culture
Art
Just­ice
Freedom
Creativity
Fairness
Deference
Humanity
Where do you sit?
At the head of the table
Or at the foot?
What do you wish for?
Riches?
To be respected?
To be feared?
To be loved?
What do they say about you?
Do you know?
Do you care?
Are they fools
To be exploited?
Is life only for your gain?
Can you be trusted?
Can they count on you?
Or do you count on them
For your achievement?
For your glory?
For your power?
For your face to be carved in stone
Above men
And God?
Is that you?
Is that what you want?

Somebody said she never smiles
But you’ve not seen what she’s seen
She’s traveled too many miles
Most that only knew how to be mean

She had to learn how to love again
To love men weaker than she was
Men who see a body and not a friend
Because that’s what a hard man does

There’s so much life in those eyes
But not the kind for a party
She's too young to be so weary
But she doesn’t want the burden
Of a man’s dream she can no longer carry

He wondered if she could ever love him
He tried not to think about riding a white horse
He knew she wouldn’t fall for that again
Her strength had blown him off course

He saw how her face held everything in
She wanted to be easier but it was too hard
He knew she would give her life for her children
A woman like that has to live feeling scarred

There’s so much life in those eyes
But not the kind for a party
She's too young to be so weary
But she doesn’t want the burden
Of a man’s dream she will no longer carry

He had a lot to say about life
He’d just about seen it all
He'd been taught a few things
About how love can rise and fall

He said a man’s as faithful as his options
And it’s an insult to turn a woman down
He always looked hard at beauty
But he never liked their little crown

He would ask, “What does it mean
When a woman does a double take?”
Then he’d say, “It means she’s mine
‘Cause a girl won’t look at what she won’t make”

He was cocky
Because he knew what he had
He’d been burned before
But he figured it was their bad

If a woman wasn’t deep enough
He’d go to the bottom without her
He didn’t like the social scene
That's not what makes his heart stir

He hated that song about girls wanting to have fun
It told him all he needed to know
He wanted somebody who was a little more than that
And not just something for show

He wondered what his last love should be
But would it be a woman or just to live free?
It’s hard to know what’s the best thing to love
Should it be a person or something you can’t see?

Is it ambiguity that frustrates you;
instead it was my gift to you

But why question a bird in its cage
or a caterpillar in its cocoon?

That is not the life that matters,
only the life to become; creation
is not destiny and destiny is not
the past for as the bird is released
so too are words into your mind
to fly where they may

Do not hold them fast; let them
take you where the vastness of
your imagination and dreams
may go because you will not see
the cage; it will remain empty
without memory or purpose

The sky is who you are; there is
nothing left of the past or what
someone may have felt or thought
at the time; the words have become
your own, changing, mutable, free

Sometimes you think one thing
But it's really another
All your dreams come true
It seems ambition is consequences' mother
They changed my life
But actually they didn’t
Now I know what money is for
And for what it isn’t
There are things
That money cannot buy
It’s not just love
It’s also how to answer the question why
Now the blame is mine
Even for silent things in the night
Everything I had hoped for
Have now vanished along with the light
Ambition once served me well
As I became more powerful than my dreams
Now I feel so very small
As its rewards shrink in the face of extremes
With the seriousness of life upon me
Staring down what once made me smile
It is the reality of what is expected
Which can no longer be hidden in a denial
A life changing moment
Does not recognize time or titles
Now is the moment when I have to answer my own question
And pray that God will believe me in his witness of my recitals

I thought it was always the right measure
I’d notice how they had everything one could invent
It was as if an artist had drawn their pedigree
Yet it was darkness that the sun eclipsed
The life they lived was picked clean by the false messages they sent
To wake up to this realization was to know there was nothing left to find

I’ve learned that a place-setting once was life itself
When the news traveled slowly the time was spent on finer things
Now we quarrel and abandon the soft edges
But you must know that a pillow exists in my heart
Where you may lay your head close to whisper of the birds of spring
The walls still stand strong all around paying my reticence no mind

I’m sure you will be alright either way
I have not heard of any true calamity in my absence
And though I could never deny
That I’m as common as a yellow can on the shelf
And that I’ve never once felt that nerves immobilized you in my presence
I’m filled enough with life to strike fear into the silence I might leave behind

Indifference is not an act of desperation
To allow time to pass swiftly by without so much as a wave
Is to trust that fate loves as much as I do
And the wind I feel upon my face is upon yours as well
Let us find ourselves my love as it is sanity that we must first save
For I cannot take your hand without first knowing if you are my kind

When today can only be yesterday
Tomorrow must accept its lonely fate
For the memories we will inside
Will make the rising sun hide and wait

There will be too many days and nights
When expectation feels no earthly end
For the dreams that walk by our side
Are the longing past we wish to see again

Well? Am I?
I'm asking you
I don't think I am
But I wonder if it's true
Is it?
Me?
I don't know why
But I may be
I don't hate
But do I judge?
Am I tired
Because "they" hold a grudge?
When I read about a crime
My minds fears loom
I see a color
Why do I assume?
How can I make it stop?
How can I be fair?
Teach me to see nothing
But hearts everywhere
When I wake
I see my color
I know I'm white
The same as my mother
I don't defend
My Father's culture
It makes me happy
But it's not my signature
Yet I see others
Defined by their race
I know why
They were put in their place
I want love
Not race
They want love
Not the color on my face
I do not want fear
It makes me weak
It makes me suspicious
When color walks the street
I know this
I'm telling you
Maybe you can see it in me
Maybe you know this too
I hate myself
When it rules my mind
I pray for relief
I want to be blind
Touch my eyes
With your heart
Give me color
Show me your art
I want to live
With open eyes
To love you
To hear your cries
Well?
Am I a racist?
I'm asking you
I insist
Tell me now
So I can grow
Tell me now
I need to know

You turn me on
So what
There's no power there
Only what are we going to do about it
I'm not caring about being turned down
Though I did buy a case of dignity the other day
It comes in a can
Just like love
You can either recycle it
Or throw it away

If you have a moment
That's what I am
If you are strong
Then so am I
If you have no questions
I am the answer
If you only need a smile
Nobody will ask why

I like to fly high
But I like solid ground
Thin air under my feet is a stormy sea
I want to see the world
I want to touch the stars
A mountain is the place for me

I don’t need to fly
I like it where there is no sound
Except the heart of an aspen forest tree
I want to see the world
I want to touch the stars
A mountain is the place for me

I don’t need to ask why
I already know what I’ve found
It’s what my eyes tell me I can see
I want to see the world
I want to touch the stars
A mountain is the place for me

I don’t like to hear goodbye
But I won’t be the one love drowned
And you will never make me a nobody
I will see the world
I will touch the stars
A mountain is what I will be

They wanted to make a movie inside your heart
It was to be a story about love and pain
But it also had to be about the truth
Would you ever watch the past again?

There is a man standing on the stage
He wants to tell you things you can’t believe
He wants to whisper life back into your eyes
It is your chance to play the part that he conceived

The raw nerves of your life loom
But no amount of flesh can play pretend
And as the camera moved closer
You asked them to remove the lens

Faraway lands whisper in your ears
For you always consider your dreams
There is no weight of distance or time
If imagination can be what it seems

Yet what you wish to conceal
Are not so much your dreams
But instead your doubts and fears
Who do not live for movie screens

Nothing can prepare you for the real thing
You will never know if it is right until it is over
You watch him speak as he tears up the script
He has decided only the heart can be your lover

I can look at the title of a book
It doesn’t matter where I found it
A shelf
A desk
It still means what it says
Even drinking tea in a restaurant
I already know if I want to read it
Fiction
Non fiction
None of that matters to me
I can make it real if I want
If it has a mysterious way
Channeled
Left behind
Either way it’s some sort of path
But it’s my private confidant
I listen no matter which way
Learning
Rejecting
Nothing is the answer to anything
It’s only a suggestion or a haunt
You can’t sleep if it’s unclear to you
Accepting
Ignoring
That’s the choice of a new idea
It can either inspire or taunt
But I only have to read the title
I know
I don’t know
I don’t have to know to explain it
Because the title became my jaunt
And I’ll go wherever I feel like going

I thought about growing up
Then I remembered
I did that a couple of weeks ago
So now what
I watched my old self
It was a wild girl
I once knew how to handle her
Now I just wanted to raise her
It all seemed so pointless
Getting wasted
Talking about seeing you on the other side
Now I think about slamming doors
I want to tell my neighbor how to change his life
To quietly close a door is power
It is control over the air around you
Because you begin to glide
But I don’t think he can do it
Don’t get me wrong
That wild girl looked so good
You never grow out of that
The problem is she wants conversation
And fun
You have to chase her all night
Who has time for that?
While I was thinking about it
I heard some chords on a piano
Everyone was impressed
But I knew it was a trick
It’s called practice
Sometimes it’s just better to leave
It’s better to be your parents
It’s better to be strong
Standing accused of being an adult
It’s amazing
To wake up so bored
Because there is no dread
No secrets
Everything is in front of you
Nothing is watching
Nothing is behind the bush
Nothing is in my hand
Except the longing to touch you
And that’s just it
I can’t grow out of that
It’s like love is always a child
I thought I’d buried it
I saw the flowers drop into the hole
But then they grew
I’d only planted them
Somebody said you were a nice girl
Yeah
You were
I know that
Wild is wild
But nice is loving a cat
And you did
I wondered if she stared out the window
But I know better
Reflection was not her style
Neither was regret
She’d as soon die on a plane crash tomorrow
As grow to be an old lady
It was all life to her
You just live in the moment
Then see what you got at the end of the day
Then forget it
But I couldn’t live like that
I had to assume I was going to survive
For a long time
I don’t want to beg
I don’t want to live in the cheapest place I can find
But I will
If I have to
Because I have before
Before I grew up
It was only a couple of weeks ago
Or years
Or decades
Or another life
It seems I lived one once
I think you were there
Unless it’s a dream
But there’s too much detail
I never sleep that long anyway
It had to be real
That’s why I grew up
Everything a young man needs
Was inside you
And I was there
Inside
And now I walk away
All grown up
Because you were so wild
And I saw myself on the other side
Emerging from the fog of your crazy world
But it was beautiful
Like a morning cloud in a valley
I was in the valley
Now I’m on a hill looking at the cloud
And I know what’s going on down there
Because you’re still there
Because I am an adult
And I hate it

American soldiers
In black and white
But I saw red white and blue
They were sad
But they were brave
They loved their flag
But they loved each other more
They have a history
Of glory
And horror
We see the movies
We know of the destruction of tyranny
Today it seems our country is at war with itself
But for a moment in history
We came together
And defeated evil
We found the truth of Auschwitz
And we made the Germans bury the dead bodies
We made them walk down death row
Slowly in a solemn procession
So they could see what they had done
Their tears were frozen solid
From the cold of what they had ignored
The witness to this evil cannot accept an apology
He cannot forgive because he saw the devil’s eyes
And he knows there is no remorse
The dread of going back wakes him up at night
The only one who understands was killed in battle
Why did he not receive his own bullet of glory?
Mental illness gains no understanding for a veteran
Asking for help is not how a warrior wants to live
He wants the glory of battle and the strength of his victory
And yet he remains broken while we revel in our holiday
Can the ears of a man who walked in hells corridors hear you?
Can he ever smile again knowing the truth of freedoms cost?
And yet these old men are slowly dying
And our flag is not respected by all
The reasons for respect are being challenged
There is no emotional bond between fear and victory
Strangers do not kiss in the streets
The heroes are not welcomed home
And some question what we did
But not those buried in tombs of sacrifice
The do not have that luxury
For a man who sits passing judgment
Cannot know for whom he serves
Except the erosion of the national will
Yes it is good to love peace
And to let doves fly
But when it is time again
Whom will hear the bell
And whom will flee?
Maybe the soldier doesn't agree
He has seen it all
We assumed glory and honor was ours to keep
And asked our soldiers to fight again and again
Each time he lost his standing
Little by little
Because money became the God
And the soldier became the tool
People smile at the idea of his valor
But refuse to hear his tales of confusion
It is never easy to **** another man
No cause exists at the point of impact
But to honor a solider is to honor his memory
For when called upon he served
And now he calls upon you to listen
But is he being heard?

what right do I have to fail
or to let you make me feel less
is that my right
to let you **** my mind?
you have that gun
words that I allow to penetrate
it's my choice
to let them in
to let them become who I am
but I have a gun too
arrogance
confidence
and it is my choice to offend you
to be so sure of myself
because that is what must happen
or else I will die

If the Earth should vanish by our own hand
If the book was erased without a memory
If all of life stopped without a trace
Would God still remember me?
Is this what I really believe?
A God who is everlasting?
Can I turn the other cheek?
When will my anger begin fasting?

From the mountain tops
I see the valley of oppression
It fills with our tears
As we drown in man's obsession
But does God need man?
Or to plant a garden on a stone?
Must we **** everyone
Who will be first to atone?

The emotions of man
Invisible to the eye
Controlling our every action
Only our soul knows why
I saw him on the corner
Did I turn the wrong cheek?
Inside my heart I already know
Grace was made because I am weak

Truth as a form of reality for humans
Is revealed or in what we discover
In both, we find what we know
Is controlled by emotional desire
There is a truth or an outcome
That we insist must always be so
Even if the truth we have found
Conflicts with all that we know

From the limits of our imagination
God is a metaphor of anthropomorphism
An assertion as to his nature including gender
Is to place God into a man-made prison
He is beyond the limits of reality
If reality is perception and experience
But if reality is truth then God is reality
And only he knows the hour of deliverance

Creation, purpose and the history of mankind
Each of us could only describe it as a fairytale
And yet to describe God with certainty
Is to limit the possibilities of the metaphysical
Our concept of time and purpose is only relative
Yet we arrogantly believe we can change his nature
And so too it is better not to say anything at all
Than to describe our birth by the hand of the creator

And so we answer questions by singing of the wind
Abdicating all knowledge to nature to justify our sin
And though we know the cause of all suffering is desire
It is not true that all desire is wicked if he planted it within
The more we desire to become a part of the spiritual world
The more we give away the scraps of our enslavement
Enlightenment is said to be found by impoverishing oneself
But who can walk barefoot on the hot pavement?

Love is deepest in a parents love for their child
Or our first love or in the love of an animal
And what is life except devotion to those you love
And to those who depend upon you to be rational
Do not compromise what is wise and good to belong
You have the strength to be alone if you know how to love
For it is without expectation that love is true
And even a wanderer can know what this is made of

Do not command someone to believe as you do
You cannot make them arrive at the same place
Neither in time or where your body may lay
If their origin of birth did not have the same grace
To believe that you alone are the holder of truth
Is to separate yourself from the divinity of the flame
To restrict enlightenment to the narrows of predominance
Is to declare that you alone are the target of your souls aim

Philosophy, reliant upon the development of our soul
Married to truth and curiosity as to our origins, not unyielding
To any new fact that might present itself to you
Is there anything more than what is good and revealing?
But if the world insists that you wear your cross
Then tell them you would die so that others can live
And to God alone you render your fruits for judgment
For the ledger kept is the mark of those who can forgive  

A belief in a dualistic world is to say evil is separate from good
It is as powerful as good and the creator allowed this to happen
If we say that the creator is only good, then what of evil?
Is it the absence of good or is it a war with our own reflection?
Must we assert our goodness or our own evil devices of destruction?
We cannot wait for good to destroy evil or so history has proven
Yet men stand in front of horses and hoses when death has failed
Having made their peace, they wait, for the hour to be chosen

It is our task if good is the passive nature of a benevolent absent God
But if we are made in his image then is he made of good and evil?
If the good in God is also ours, we know of it but who will summon it?
We must take it upon ourselves to steel ourselves upon the anvil
But if our nature is such that the absence of good makes powerful evil
Then is it evil alone that can save us from the very nature we possess
That is why we concern ourselves with such notions as a just war
And wait until the day when there is nothing left except to confess

The more assurance I hear from you the less that I am
I will not say, “This is truth so repent now or perish forever”
Humility is the admission of all that we do not know
But the depth of ignorance it too vast to be called only a river
If humility is to be rejected then your aim falls below the sunset
You have compared yourself to a horizon that will never be found
You have accepted that what lies beyond is of no consequence
Because what matters is that you stand upon your own holy ground

I hardly know myself much less why I am this way
I believe I have a soul, defined as unseen consciousness
But which story of long ago was witnessed by honest men?
I can only hope that I will survive after my body perishes
I will never tell you how to live because I cannot live my own
I will never judge you for your beliefs, only if you hurt someone
There is no contrary opinion that should result in physical conflict
For in the end, what can I prove except that peace has come undone

If I am so insecure that I must destroy all who disagree
Then it is I who should  be destroyed for my weakness of spirit
There is too much temptation to place money above the individual
And too much desperation to steal what they cannot inherit
But as I choose to walk with the pride of knowing my place
And the honor of allowing all who come to sit in front of me
I have found that behind the multitudes there is a place of rest
And it is a place where good and evil can both finally agree

And who would dare complain
Without a flood from heaven
Separating us from sin
Knowing some will be lost
Never to see their God again?

And who would dare complain
Without indigenous tribes
Chased by the cruelest of men
Armed with manifest destiny
Ready to take their land?

And who would dare complain
Without bombs raining down
Immoral and ruthless
Serving the ambitions of those
Living inside a fortress?

And who would dare complain
Without starving first
Walking the streets alone
Carrying a sign of mercy
Only to be blamed or ******?

And who would dare complain
Without wearing chains
Feeling the whip crack
Knowing the next day
The master will be back?

And who would dare complain
Without immortality mocking
From a grave already waiting
Because they were not buried
With those God would be taking?

It's not that I want to give up the fight
What am I doing except begging?
I don't need another coin in my cup
I can take the dark clouds above me
Just don't tell me they are really light

Love is not life or death to me
It's just a way of life
I don't want to listen to the wrong song
It's ok if it's the wrong one for you too
You don't have to live a way you can't be

I've stood out in the rain before
Sometimes I'm glad I'm out there
The words I said all washed away
We wanted to be about forever
Instead it's about nevermore

I hate how it feels like we never met
Goodbye to what could have been
We smiled at another hoping heart
Instead we can't even be friends
But a near miss you never forget

I don't want any pills
Or any bottles
If I can't feel the pain
Then I don't know where I stand
If it hurts
Then I want to know
Go ahead
Tell me
I'm man enough to hear it
And I'm man enough to take it
How do I know?
You told me long ago