We’re breathin’ hot air
Talkin’ ‘bout class warfare
But the poor they don’t care
'Cause politics don’t mean nothin’
When you’re needin’ somethin’
To end your despair

They ain’t readin’
Intellectual half-witted bleedin’
Who go home smilin’
It don’t take much thinkin’
For you to be realizin’
The lies ain’t worth chokin’

When you see the same beggin’
On the dyin’ corner
You get to wonderin’
Why do they keep pleadin’
If it ain’t good or is it just somethin’
They can’t stop repeatin’?

It’s a thinkin’ man who knows
That even with nice clothes
You can’t sleep all that well
‘Cause he sees the endin’
Of the ******* dreamin'
He’s been trying to sell

What you can say
Is you really don’t know why
Except maybe you should try
Maybe the poor man is better off
‘Cause he ain’t worryin’ ‘bout pride
Or recollectin' his last lie

They keep pollutin’
And we keep losin’
No matter how hard your workin’
It’s an insider’s creation
And a suckers frustration
‘Cause the chads got no salvation

Deep breath
Yes, there is still something there
A life that I can summon
And I do

My face has changed
But my mind is calm
Not about the world
Just my self-image
Truly
It’s the most amazing thing
I don’t care
But I promise to take a bath

Did you know?
What’s that?
You couldn’t hear me?
And I thought I was so loud
No slight impact
No glancing meaning
Not even an annoyance
It was as if I wasn’t even there
That’s how I learned
Not too handsome
Not too smart
Only the keeper of my own flame

I turned the key
Then decided to walk
I opened an umbrella
But left it inside
I stood up a ladder
But laid down instead
I played a piano
But I didn’t need a song
I remembered what I said
But the meaning was mine
It was all a dream
To be different
To start then stop
To do then not
To know not taught
It’s my way now

Is it true that we cannot learn as we age
from the mistakes of our own lust?
No matter the hurt, we continue onward,
gazing upon life, yet not seeing our place;
only expecting to lead all whom we crushed

The pure spirit that we once were
has finally turned to dust;
before we search for ourselves, we cry
And though we are not insane,
we will soon be taught by those we trust

It  is because why we cry
that we lose our sense of touch
The world around us is for the taking, yet
we only know of our own pain; but who
will teach just enough instead of too much?

What shadows live in remorse except
that which we cast as the judge?
It is the pain we are born into we cast off,
but the receptacle is always another man
who must suffer a baby’s eternal grudge

Walk without a sound
Though you carry a heavy burden
Speak in a whisper
So as not to disturb the garden
Decide with purpose
Though you may be uncertain
Open your heart
No life should suffer a curtain

It’s easy to say when you’re alone
It’s somebody’s fault
It’s better to be alone
And when you go out
You try to act all grown

But you can’t pretend to be
If you leave your heart behind
No, you can’t pretend to be above it all
If you leave your heart where no one can see

When you were growing up
You gave your heart away
Like a flower you weren’t afraid
But now it’s something you keep to yourself

Growing down
It’s like you're growing down
Growing down into the ground
A flower afraid of the rain
A flower afraid of the sun
Afraid of the things when you were young

It’s easy to say when you’re alone
You don’t look into my eyes
You don’t stand close
And when you close the door
You try to act all grown

But you can’t pretend to be
If you leave your heart behind
No, you can’t pretend to be above it all
If you won’t leave your heart with me

When can I go to the place we dream?
I can’t see through stained glass windows
Or read words in a faraway language
But I see the tears carving their story
And the images reflected by the stream

It was the fear of living with their choices
The world sought its own refuge
But it was not bricks or stone fences
Instead it was a word that built the wall
And the glory of hearing their own voices

When can I go to the place that was promised?
From meal to meal I travel with a memory
I could say this is who I am but is that true?
All I know is that I could only feel pain inside
They said they were only being honest

I was so tired of being told how to be
It seems they cannot live with their own
I only wanted to talk about your blessings
They were so small I was ashamed of my own
I had forgotten that a breath is the life for me

Ah yes, it does appear to be so
I've finally met my match
For the ideals of my soul
Have verily been surpassed
For what I pray upon the hearts of men
You would take by force
Instead of accepting our flaws
Or allowing nature to take its course
You empower your emotions
To whom there can be no appeal
But is it the spirit of brotherhood
Or revenge from which you steal?

Living life as a metaphor
A face without features to explore
Emotion without skin or form
Rain and wind in the eye of the storm
Chambered piano notes fading, carried away
By wingless birds with feathers waiting
A horse with a river for a tail, trailing
A brush with colors, an artist unveiling

I do not know if what I say to the questions of our absurd existence
is a suggestion or an offer of supposition inherited from the dreams
of a previous life or the dreams of my ancestors

It is not enough to be loved by a silent creator because we must entertain ourselves while we wait for the one who cannot be described except within the limited knowledge we possess of our own being

The question of taking oneself seriously must be answered with regard
to the value we place upon ourselves; are we special because we say so
or because we are loved by a parent we have never met?

But could it be the love of a child that makes us special in that the innocence of children protects their worth as what they desire from us protects our worth as the desire for one another protects our collective worth?

I once found the pursuit of my desires to be the path to meaning; it was as if pleasure was God but it was a God of selfishness and the pursuit of my own glory and when the truth was revealed I became nothing

Is it the impossibility of sustaining the meaning of life for its own
sake that draws forth the belief in the supernatural while simultaneously abdicating a belief in our ability to be empathetic towards those who share our fate?

I reached across the table and took her hand
She was stricken
“What are you doing?”
I asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”
“But we work together!”
I said, “This isn’t a job interview”
“I know silly but you know what they say about office romances”
I said, “Should I just pretend I don’t care about you like that?”
“No but I don’t know how this is going to work”
I noticed she was still holding my hand
I asked, “Why do we have to worry how it’s going to end before it even starts?”
“Is that what you think I’m saying?”
I said, “Yes. Are you wondering if I’ll make a good husband?”
She blushed a bit at that
I said, “I’m not worried about all of that. I’m very simple-minded. I like you. That’s it.”
She said, “But somebody has to worry about these things.”
I said, “I don’t have a ring with me”
She said, “Oh god is that what you think of me? That I need a ring on the first date?”
I said, “It seems your mind does.”
She looked at me… I could see she was thinking it through
I asked, “Should I quit my job? Should you? Should I ask for the check and just forget it?”
She hesitated
I noticed she still was holding my hand but now she was rubbing it
She finally said with a sigh, “No…. ****… why am I so nervous about something that should be good?”
I said, “Maybe we should just leave and go home alone… then we’ll talk tomorrow.”
She said, “Ok… but you know I like you…”
I said, “Stop… don’t say it… let’s just go…”
As I turned out my light I received a text from her
I wonder what its going to say….

It delivers
A crushing blow
Yet it feels
Nothing
It renders
The final verdict
With numbing callousness
It senses
No pain
It knows
No guilt
It experiences
No empathy
Instead
It is lifeless
A tool
Awaiting direction
From the killer
The one who decides
While it sits
Ever silent
Never wavering
Not knowing
Its fate
Or its victim
Or why
It could be anyone
MLK
JFK
A little girl
It cares not
Like a caterpillar
It waits
For transformation
For motion
And then
Impact
Destroying
Dreams
Hopes
Lives
Creating
Fear
Hate
Worry
It lives
A life
Singularly focused
On death
Poised
Then delivering
Death
Of a life
Remorseless
In its travels
Stochastic
Random
Chaotic
In its delivery
The executioner
Without a hood
Without a conscience
Without feeling
Without anything
Resembling humanity
Only inevitable death
Just like life

The baby it will never see
Bares another
And with each generation
The force builds
A butterfly's kiss
So gentle
As harmony awakens each morning
Striking a chord
Invisible to the eye
But not the spirit
The winds of patience
An artist
Arrives
With peril
For those who sleep
On Western shores

Even the truth pauses if
you ask it for the time; a
woman who is smarter than
you still likes it when you
smile at her; every elevator
stops on more than one floor;
a kiss doesn’t always settle
an argument but it still feels
good; if you take the time to
complain about frivolous
things then you already are
its intended victim; there’s
not a woman alive who can
prepare you for the next one;
you will always be unsatisfied
if you take yourself too
seriously; if you can paint
something that you’ve never
seen then you have an
imagination; if you can paint
something that would unnerve
your mother then you are free;
there is nothing you should
ask of someone if you excuse
yourself from the same rules;
a grown-up desires the same
things but knows too much
about tomorrow; if you think
it is too late to discover your
true gift then you are wrong;
to live life waiting for bad news
is no way to live; to see that
others live the same way is
to know that you are not alone;
there is someone out there
for you but if you keep your
heart to yourself then he
will walk past you like a
stranger on the corner; no
matter how creative you are
someone can do it better; if
your ego exceeds your
capabilities then you will
live a life of delusion; the
best way to become empathetic
is to become obsessed with
describing the feelings of
others; a true artist is always
waiting for the next creation
no matter how great the last
one was; the impatience of
the imagination is unleashed
once you recognize that it
exists; there's always one
more love in your life but you
have to give them the chance
you swore you would never do
again; the day you decide to
justify yourself instead of
challenging your beliefs is
the day you stop learning;
there are three ways to change,
a painful mistake, hearing the
truth from your best friend or
comparing yourself to somone
great but without the desire
to change you will remain as
you were when the truth tells
you that time is no longer its
concern; whatever is lodged
in your mind causes disbelief
in something, but have you
built the wall in the right place?

You made your bed
You wouldn't listen to me
You didn't ask the mirror either
You answered your own question
You're the fairest one of all
And I wasn't the one who could reach you
So pull the covers up tight over your head
Accept the darkness

Her mind had become one large empty room
With only a chair
She needed a place to sit and think

She felt like an empty alley crossed by railroad tracks
Life seemed to have a way of going its own way
While she watched silently waiting for the next train to pass

She heard a noise and it was a spring bird gathering twigs
It was undaunted by weather that won’t make up its mind
It’s a feeling inside that drives it to plan ahead
No matter the cold air
It must be nice to know what tomorrow will bring

It’s that feeling though
It can make you wait for the wrong thing
To believe in what is not right for you
To forget the pain they put you through
You remembered a glimmer of good
And made it the entire story
That’s why the room was empty
That’s why a glimmer is welcome
But there is no other chair
It’s because you put it on the other side of the door
And you did it for a reason
And now you’re thinking of bringing it back
What you don’t know is that it’s not there anymore
Someone else took it

Maybe you’re in the wrong room
The door is unlocked
You can leave if you want
Or you can wait
Because a fantasy is easier than a decision

I read the news today
She doesn't know if we care
Her lifeless body is in our hands
Do we have a moment to spare?

I saw her picture
A life of love and flowers
Hate became the poison
That turned years into hours

I cried once again
I am willing to say how I feel
Life passes much too easily
I don't want to forget what's real

I'm so sorry beautiful child
Must innocence pay for our sin?
Is there nothing we can do
But to ask God to forgive us again?

Have I aged my life with care and truth?
Were the grapes purposed?
I have reached my appointed height
But did I really grow?
Do I have the respect of your children
Or are they embarrassed?
Is the frustration of life in their mind
But hope in their soul?
Do I possess the fondness of a friend
And the times we cherished
Can I endure the sadness of lost love
Trying to fill a deep hole?
The life of a common man with honor
Is it worth how we perish
Yes as we till the soil of our chosen path
In faith for what we don’t know

Be a big boy
Because I don’t want to pretend
It’s not love
It’s just sin
I made you feel
Too good
Yeah like a man
But you never understood
It was about me
Not you
Yeah
But now you are making me
Hurt you
Yeah
Because you never understood
That what it was
Was a means to our end
But now it's over
Because
You couldn't tell the difference
Between love and lust
Yeah it made me feel good
But don't cry about it being just
About ***
Because it was
Don’t make it so complex
Even though it does
Make me sorry
That it escaped you
Yeah I made you feel too good
And let you go where few men could
But now it's over
Our wild time has to end
So be a big boy
Because I don’t want to pretend
It’s not love
It’s just sin
Are you surprised?
That a woman holds the cards
Are you surprised?
That I didn’t see stars
Are you surprised?
That a woman can play
The same way
As a man
By walking away
And get away with it
With no remorse
And just light a cigarette
And end all discourse
Yeah be a big boy
Because I'm a big girl
Who won't pretend
It’s not love
It’s just sin

What would I say
   if I were not so meek
What you already know
   that I cannot speak
What we are
   that we cannot share
What we will be
    if only we dare
What I want
   that you want too
What I want
   if only it were true

She begged me to stop
She was standing on a mountaintop
But I wasn’t there
The only way she could reach it was with my thoughts
No one else could ever imagine such a place for her
But the rivers that took her there
Transformed
Back into ice crevices carved into her heart
The winds that carried her
Changed direction
To await the birds that had all flown south
The sounds that soothed her
Grew silent
Like the desolation of a dream waiting for me to wake up
You angrily swept yourself away
Not caring how fast you descended
Or even that I had finally appeared at the summit
There was no lie to tell
Or truth to remember
Only the myth of a love that you knew was real
But was unable to believe in itself

She was not interested in what was obvious
Her ego required nuance and sophistication
A life devoted to a cause will die with it
For what is achievement without a fragile peace?

Though the tide comes and goes, what lingers,
glistening post cards, confounding swimmer and
marine life alike, becomes the current and not
where the moon may ****** itself in the night

Applause in the middle of her dance of love
will not lift her spirits; to them, she has made
love to them and to her she has only found herself
for a brief moment while they became the ocean

She could never believe life was like that; art only
interested the patrons in this way, but her dancing
was not about what they would imagine was
perfect in her heart; only that it was not; it was not

The release of birds from the hands of those who
cried over their captivity was not of liberation, but
instead of shoes that required no hand or mind to
place them where nature intended them to be

She was unable to fixate upon comfort without pause
Life was anger and sadness that a smile knew too well
It was in her moment of triumph that tragedy met her eyes
And as her heart died she became the fantasy they paid for

I only feel pieces of how I can love a woman
They are walking around, inside of them
In different places, trying to grow
Far away seeds, a garden waiting to begin

I know it’s not right
There is supposed to be only one
But how can I choose between seasons
Oceans, mountains or a setting sun?

I know why it feels that way
My life is a tourist inside of theirs
I only want what is good
But I don’t know if it’s my prison or yours

Are you a day or a moment?
Can we gather them all up my love
We have to put every promise in one hand
I want to hold the one you’re thinking of

She was a delicate flower
Wind-blown hair and soft petals for hands
Wheat fields in the summer
Green meadows in the spring
But love planted her in desert sands

She grew beneath glowing embers
Pollinated eyes and soft dark soiled feet
Unafraid to be what she was
Knowing her strength
No matter how many storms she may meet

She was life itself
Though drawn to her every kiss flew away
Drinking the dew of dawn
Watching another sun set
Still she believed in what tomorrow might betray

Beautiful colors
Vibrant light
Dark shadows
Pain in the night
Long lines
Smooth as glass
Shards await
A looming crash
Lights beckon
Future promise
Sudden pain
Bleeding bliss
Secret words
Sight unseen
Another's intent
You must glean
Time slows
Breaking it's gait
Simmer alone
Enduring your fate
Beautiful spell
Shivering joy
Maturity lost
Happy boy
Words burst
Forcing their way out
Focused attention
There is no doubt
Emotional courage
Consumed with fear
Faith in you
But you're not here
Passion builds
Only to peak
Inevitable pauses
Not for the weak
Feelings ebb
Self-preservation
Love never dies
Winter's hibernation
Reality lives
In this different world
In our dark minds
We are hurled
In a new way
Love is defined
Held back
Our actions confined
Their face
You cannot see
Their words
All they can be

What blood that would flow inside of us
melted from twin peaks before our birth
could ever turn us against our own?

The reflections come from our eyes
And within them are his revealed words

What heart that hears its companions
in harmony with its own voice would
ever silence itself and deny its purpose?

Each white light brightening the green
Drawing us nearer to the season

What braided rope would willingly
unravel until each thread has become
so weakened it cannot love another?

As we think once again of a baby
We offer the plank from within our eyes

What family would dishonor itself solely
to preserve the desires of each person
over the strength in the love of the many?

*So we may cross the divide between us
Upon the path we have laid for forgiveness

he looks at your door
and the direction it faces is only what you're thinking
will he wonder or will he know?
he liked the way it was painted yesterday
but it's not the color that matters so much to you
instead it's the lock and the key that says yes or no
a knock is like buying new shoes
it may make you feel better for a moment
but what difference to you if it is not you who says so?
no matter the reflection on your countenance
the way into your mind is what he must guess
and if he only remembers yesterday then yesterday is where he will go

I saw the borders, they were open
Open for the huddled masses
I saw the sunny rain, trying to help
If it’s still true, why do I smell burning ashes?

I’m beginning to grieve, is it a just life?
I want a heart full of gladness
Is there a way to know how,
Is it mixed with too much sadness?

I drew a face in the sand; it washed away
We were all young once,
We don’t need the ocean to remind us
The wistful world lives inside the conchs

I wonder who can make me see
I already know, a bridge crosses my mind
It wasn’t a trick or a politic
Her hand was outstretched to mine

I saw the borders, they're still open
The birds fly over, following the sun
And the poor are still walking
Away from the gloom, towards God’s son

It was you that I dreamed about
But it was only how I wanted you to be
You had a different dream  
And even though it was me
You were something that dreams can't see

It was the day that waited
Once we became who we were
The dreams we couldn't share left us
And even if we try to pretend
We will never know how it feels to be sure

At least we don't cry as we sleep
A dreamer never welcomes his tears
How could anyone give everything
Without a fantasy to give them courage
I'd rather live it than alone with my fears

Is it morning in America or should we continue to dream?
Should we go to sleep or stay awake to watch others scheme?
And as I drift in and out of the twilight’s last gleam
It becomes my choice to stay silent or to wake up with a scream

Is reality as it should be or is it still a nightmare?
No matter my state I cannot tell if I am here or there
The words of long ago remind me that life isn’t fair
Was his dream accepted or does anyone even care?

Should we sing another verse of “We Shall Overcome?
Should we continue to bang on the drum?
Will we ever know what the content of our character will become?
It remains the failure of man instead of color or where we’re from

What fear awakens the slumbering mind to the curse of hate?
What need to hurt rouses the racist to **** another’s fate?
What silence in the heart of a good man made it too late?
What bullet struck the man because the rope wouldn’t wait?

How can eternal good live in a world full of evil men?
The graves of a thousand innocent slaves rise to face them
Fearless before God they question their faith and his plan
He wouldn’t even give them a cross for them to pay for their sin

He was murdered because he asked to be our equal
Courage in the face of unrelenting fear is the prophet’s ritual
Today we remember but tomorrow we will forget to be spiritual
And history will once again demand the unrepentant sequel

I need someone with all the nerve of New Orleans
Wearing pants in church and a dress at the beach
A cigarette before work but only a smile when she drinks
There’s always two sides to her and I’ll take one of each

I know she would make love to my best friend
Her pride is as long as the memory she’s trying to forget
She told me she wasn’t going to be easy anymore
I had my chance once so I have to act like we just met

I know you
I know how it can be
You’re always around
But love to you isn’t something for free

That jazz piano from 1942 was singing about you
You’d live with a man you knew you’d never marry
It was better drinking with someone only you could hurt
You ignore fate because you know what it is already

You know me
You know how it can be
I’m always going to be around
Love to me is a girl in a dress walking by the sea

We were the couple in the corner
Not part of the ambience
The noise and interruptions
Loud laughter
Everyone sure of themselves
Yet we were most important
They were escaping
We were living
No longer ordinary
Deep in conversation
We had something
A chance and we both sensed it
It was as if time stopped
Yet we desired its haste
Discovery is fascinating
Yet like everyone else
We wanted to read the last page
It could have been about next Thursday
Would we be thinking of each other
Yes there was no doubt
Hope in love lingers
Even without a happy ending
For hope in love is hope itself
We were discovering ourselves too
Regrets, wishing we were more interesting
Trying to slow down excited words
How embarrassing to be so enchanted
It seemed so anyway
Nobody noticed them
Except the man who wanted one of their chairs
Yes yes please take it
What do we care, can't you see?
It's already bad enough
Such loud intimacy
I wanted to whisper
It's hard to be gentle when you can't hear
Then I sensed the sudden change
Like a cool breeze
But the chill was welcome to you
It covered your face
The dread of loneliness
Born of desire
As if I hadn't felt it too
But I had
Suddenly every word mattered
I felt the urgency of a mountain climber
My sense of humor strained
My senses attached to every detail
Ordering another drink
Speaking to the waitress
Treating her kindly
Wanting to be sure and just to her
She smiled as she knew as well
She'd felt the same breeze last Thursday
For it was me who'd imagined it all
And she remembered
I'd made her feel human
And emptied the room for that moment
We would never forget
We'd read the last page
It was now time for the book
It would be worth the read

Only you can be a fantasy to me
You have no idea what you’ve done
I’m afraid to show you the colors
But inside my heart you paint

I am the only eye upon you
No, it’s true I know where to look
But it’s only when they are closed
And your breath is upon my life

It seems we live a life of regret
It’s what might have been
You're with someone else
Now I'm thinking about sin
But how can I ever forget?

Maybe I just want to make it up
Maybe I just want to live what I see
Yes I really want you to know
That my memory of you is real

It seems we live a life of regret
It’s what might have been
You're with someone else
Now I'm thinking about sin
But how can I ever forget?

Heed me well
Don’t clear my name
I’m the feather that fell
I’m the one to blame

Don’t ask me why
Or about the weather
How would I know
I’m just a falling feather

It’s taken a long time for this moment
I’m about to know what it means to arrive
I’d rather it fly on with the rest of them
My past doesn’t need me to survive

How much do you need to know?
I’ve already found comfort in the pillow of the wind

My past doesn’t need me to live on
As I fall through the rain
And the sun
I can take it as it comes
Anything that happens
It’s already been considered
When you’re falling
You know somewhere you’re gonna’ land

I thought I was a bird
But I know I’m not that now
Flying or falling, what’s the difference?
Either way, only a feather knows how

Sometimes
you need to be part of something
Not a follower
but something they would miss
Not a gift
but something you have earned
It's the feeling
of watching a baseball game
Or sitting
at the bottom of a swimming pool
Surrounded
by what makes you feel welcome
I felt it once
long ago inside an old chapel
And when
you cried because I was leaving
That's when
I knew that I was a part of love
That's when
you finally became a part of me

I have fallen inside myself
Though I walk the streets
And speak to my friends
What I say is what I have found
The walls inside my mind
Await the graffiti of my failures
What I say to you
Is only what I say to myself
I am not the answer
I am only a question
For in your life
I only search for mine
And in my life
It has become a search
For the source of your strength

I only lack spiritual guidance
Still I know what please my eye
When I said forget about me
I didn’t mean it
I was trying to grieve
But I didn’t know how
So much has happened
I will never again ask why
The answer is always the same
Life is that way for everyone
It’s just my turn to feel the pain

I  want to see everything in your face
Deep feeling eyes holding back a lake
Tight skin erasing traces of the past
Lips pressed together blocking the air
You nose, ears, everything about you
Like rusty ships in a harbor
Guarded, waiting for their purpose
To be born again without remorse
Every scream, every betrayal
But only you can remember
Because it did not happen to me
How long have you been there?
I can only say, long enough

You can ask me to describe something
But I can only describe the past
Or a dream I once had
You were in it
Though you never knew
You were in it
Because you want what I want
So it was about you
Even though it was about me
All I can say is that what I saw in you
I see in everyone
But it is how you can take it
That is what I want for myself
You are like a flamenco guitar
Making us feel all that we are

People don’t want to die
But they want to go to heaven
They don’t want to pay the price
They just ask to be forgiven
They lay in the sun
Yet judge by the color of skin
They want to change
But cling to where they’ve been
To receive their daily tender
Without earning it first
Is the easiest path
And from you they will coerce
Believing in their own greatness
Yet trying so very hard
To conceal their true selves
They always remain on guard
The price of the ego
Is the cost of your soul
The gift of your heart
Is the blessing someone stole
To withstand the pain of loss
We walk a lonely path
Embracing a material curse
And rejecting John’s bath
Instead we are awash in sin
Of the flesh and mind
A hedonistic rationalization
What did we expect to find?
As desire causes suffering
Introspection causes pain
But the journey to the mountaintop
Will turn fire into rain
As you wash away your doubts
And your need for approval
The sun will open your heart
And begin fear's removal
And on the day you awaken
To a new world brotherhood
You will become a blessing to others
And there will be a flower where you once stood



Copyright 2011. All Rights Reserve. Mark Lecuona

ake the time if you can
Pretend that you are wrong
Release it inside yourself
But first, choose a flower
The bees will come later

Don’t abandon your morals
You’re here to rearrange them
It’s not an astrological profile
Or even coloring your hair
It always grows back anyway

Think of impermanence
How little actually ever is
Only love is untainted
By politics or who you are
It is perception that corrupts

There are only a few
Our parents and children
Everyone else is conditional
Too vulnerable for more
Still we believe in forever

The mind is loaded first
The will becomes the decision
It is you pain that must die
Fed by the anger of  others
Free speech lights the match

But that is not intellectual
It is the instinct of a follower
And when he finally says yes
The rhapsody of religious revival
Becomes the darkness in his heart

You must stop studying the map
There is a form to life from birth
Whether culture or a weak father
You cling to it indiscriminately
Until you discard the point of being

Think about your enemy
It may be you’ve never met them
You only know what someone said
Was it really what they have chosen
Or the context of their turmoil?

There is always a consequence
You have to decide how to live
Is it better to have nightmares
Or sleep soundly with ignorance
The songs chorus can’t help you

To live without classification
Is to think without influence
But the desire to cling tightly
To your past and your mistakes
Is to trade salvation for mortality

to not jump,
in anger or despair;
is to not feel,
though you do,
is instead
but to conceal,
the passion
of the moment;
whether bullets
load my eyes
or they kneel
before a pulpit;
repenting
even though
i’m disconnected,
a wire on the road;
it’s hard to live
being rejected
because change
has control now
and sometimes I forget
what was a memory;
but it’s not guilt
or a regret;
my friends
at first puzzled,
now they know;
i make movies
about reality
and the debts I owe;
my cheek
is revealed
and whole;
you took
advantage
of my soul;
but because
i’m so weak
your word
pierced my life
while forgiveness
became a sword;
you know it’s true,
the street is dark
under a light
and the sun
is eclipsed
by my sight

A free man walking
Suffers from no illusions
But what grows green from rocks
Is what he seeks
It reminds him that hope never dies

A free man talking
Suffers from no emotions
But what he hears from ticking clocks
Is how a baby sleeps
Not knowing why his mother cries

A free man provoking
Is like kicking sand into oceans
People hear the way he talks
But ignore why he speaks
They only see white in his darkened eyes

A free man trying
His mind rocked by constant motions
It’s not so easy to feel these thoughts
The truth of the matter is all he keeps
While she drowns in seas that only rise

She said, “I love the way you live
I love the way you fly in your blue skies
You’re so free and full of life”

I thought, “And yet there is no love
Flying high waits for no one
Freedom has no partner”

She asked, “Do you have a mate?”
I said, “No and I’m not looking for one”
She wondered, “What kind of life is this?
She said, “We’re not made to be alone”

I thought, “What does she expect of me?”
I said, “Maybe but then why am I happy?”
She said, “You only think you are”
I said, “Maybe happy is about not being unhappy”

She asked, “Who hurt you so badly that you have given up?”
I said, “The same force that hurt you”
She thought, “I don’t understand not wanting love”
She said, “But if we give up we die”

I thought, “It will just become about control”
I said, “Do you like me as I am or
do you have a vision of what I could be to you?”
She said, “I know what you are asking
You want to know if I have a life or will I make you become my life”

I said, “Yes… are you waiting to live or do you live now?”
She said, “Yes, I have a life but I want to love someone
I want them to love me
It’s what makes life worth living”

I said, “You have a dream of love
But do you have a dream of me?”
She said, “I am attracted to how you live
I want to know how you are”

I said, “If I make love to you
we will be swept up in emotions
Can you do this and still let me fly?”

She said, “Is freedom all that matters to you?
Is flying life or is love?”
I said, “Love is life but flying is freedom
And without freedom I will die”

I asked, “Can you love and let someone be free?”
She asked, “What do you mean?”
I said, “Can you live if I fly without you?”
She asked, “Will you fly with someone else?”
I said, “You see no other bird do you?”

She thought, “What is it that I want?”
She asked, “Can you not fly with me?”
I said, “Yes but only if I am not compelled by you
You cannot live to fly with me
You must live to let me fly”

She asked, “Why must I wait for you?”
I said, “We have not made love and you already question me”
She said, “You are telling me I must wait for you and wonder”
I said, “Yes”
She asked, “What kind of a man are you?
I said, “A free man
Can you build a nest
With a bird that will only fly?"

She said, "I can build a nest
With a bird that wants a nest
And not one that will never land
I do not wish to control you
I only wish to love you
If you cannot accept my love
Then remain free as you think you are
But remember me when you are lonely
Because my love would have set you free"

Thoughts in flight,

"It is not for me to decide
But instead
What is heard by maidens far
And near
Is the matter
As they weigh
The sound of the calling
Against the needs
Of their hearts
And the decision
To set sail
Towards the unknown
But familiar resonance
Of home
Which remains
But a wonder
To the pied piper"

Nothing familiar is the answer
It is always someone you don’t understand
Finding meaning
Outside our own means
As if they have nothing to lose
And they don’t
They do not think of their parents
Or what they were taught
Except for facts
Warding off
Things that are unexplained
Strange
Scary
Secret societies
Dystopian
Cold
Every institution of man
Rejected
As man withdraws from convention
Stirring the drink
With a hint of every influence
Without burden of form
Changing course on a whim
Fully versed in possibility
Stopping along the way
Every corner
To explore
For days and days
Forgetting the mission
Except to learn
A being of discovery
Courageous failures
Skeptical of every word
Unless it is their own questions
Enduring shock
Smiles instead of fears
No sense of consciousness
The natural act of a man unafraid
Except his own existence
Because then he has to acknowledge yours
And though he loves you
He cannot just sit next to you
And watch flowers return to their rightful place
So you can grimly smile that what you always wanted
May only be counted in moments instead of days
That become years
Though each moment is what he wanted all along
Because time is nothing to consider
Except how much remains

I’ve retired behind clouds; living to light your world
when the smoke of your travails giving witness
to the truth that cannot be found gathers itself
for a moment, eclipsing my gaze in the shape
of a white heart, void of color, even blackness;
for in the senselessness of humanity’s struggles
love must be found by one light, removed
from the source of burning hearts and instead
regaining the purity of celestial bodies, prayed
to for centuries, guided by their presence, linked
by our imagination, named for our Gods; promised
to us for the moment the light parts the curtain
of doubt and shines upon your gaze, smiling; not
at a doll, but a woman; not at an ornament, but
a mystery of misunderstanding, longing and hope
for her heart to be weighed down by the color
of love, no longer able to float amongst the clouds;
removing itself as the prism of my healing touch,
to await the return of a man’s naïve hopes in life,
lost for too long behind the clouds of his pain,
his losses, his betrayal, his cynicism of a pretty
face only interested in perpetuating itself in
the glory of its reflection and the madness
of his pursuit

She passes us by
But she doesn’t know we're right here
She’s been living a lie
Taught that perfection will bring her near
Nearer to God  
And all the things this earth cannot provide

The rising night pearl
Inside a giant shell that never opens
Just like a beautiful girl
Our watching eyes like needles and pins
Pricking her skin
And all the things that she can no longer hide

She was a good girl
But good does not always see light
They made her live their life
It became an empty way to live
Even though they told her it was full

She fell into a trap
Nothing left but darkness to avoid
She thought she had a map
They said only the next life could be enjoyed
But she only could see the night
That’s how she knew she's still inside

Her parents called her
They thought she was going to make it
She became a soul they could no longer stir
What her fears came to admit
Scared them
Their desires she could no longer ride

She was a good girl
But she couldn’t smile anymore
Her mother kept asking her why
She was pleasing somebody but not herself
She was a sheep wearing everybody else's wool

The sky is black but there is no rain
It seems I’m only waiting to lose someone else
I watch as you grieve and thought of how it would feel
The river is dry but not the pain
Are you in a silent rage?
There’s a book and God turned a page
It was the one written about her
Who would want you to miss someone so much
It’s the same story about life
We are not soldiers but we watch people die
The fire raining down upon us cannot be seen
But we can feel the fear
The test of our survival is either true or a lie
The reason seems to be of no concern
No matter, it is our condition Lord
The new love we sent to you is a good reason to cry

I wonder, if in everything I do,
there is a guiding light; standing
apart watching me, to beguile
the shadows of a starless night

Would duty impart importance
to the fact of its existence; would
the light assuage those hurt by
callous burden as it should?

Endlessly creative as only true
emotion can be; but held at bay
by the things we are trained to
ignore by what other voices say

Could it be that no matter the
cost, what is right will save me?
Or is it only providence who will
judge the dim light I cannot see?

it is a human thing; to look,
to reject, to judge,
but what to believe?

if you were alone; surrounded by strangers,
would you bring your fears, your defiance;
would you give them a chance to give you a chance,
or are you convinced that life is not your friend?

don’t let it be your funeral; put the shovel down,
unless you are ready to plant some seeds;
remember how you smiled when you were alone,
but what is courage if you cannot smile at doubt  

i’ve heard many a preachers word,
under vaulted high beamed ceilings,
with stained glass lights, glowing;
upon my quiet soul and
my divided conscience

and so am i strong enough to fight
or to turn the other check

and so still,
i’m asking the question, and
i will continue my search,
without further suggestion;
i have read enough
and what we can glean from it, except
the fanatics never leave
and the doubters never stay
but i’m not one to do whatever it takes
i’m not a marxist
nor a prophet
i’m not self-satisfied;
a know it all doesn’t know enough
only too much to be loved

how to treat people
is it just for my salvation, or
is it just the right thing?
would i have known had i never heard a sermon?
but to understand another man, is to listen to him;
it is to stop thinking about my own plans, yes, i will stop;
if you need me too, but even if you don’t,
i will anyway; i will clear my mind for you;
and begin my life again

is life passing me by; i have to ask,
the answer is yes, but,
only if you care about the time of day,
or the year

but is treating people the right way old-fashioned;
i’m no longer a child; selfish and impatient
i’m no longer a young man; glorious in my triumphs
i’m not a man in crisis; not about indecision;
i know who i am, unafraid to change,
no longer impressed by human standards;
not beauty for beauty’s sake,
not dishonesty because there’s money at stake;
no, none of that moves me
i’m just a man gazing upon a farm i never tilled;
hungry for character,
the way an early riser with calloused hand earns

too much money can’t be bought,
or so they say, but
what of his ambition;
a poor boy is hungry enough,
but is he honest;
only a cross of gold knows

i heard a lie, but
nobody wants to talk about it;
It's better to pretend it was true
or never said at all

i was angry, but
i have to keep it to myself;
they might think I’m crazy,
even though they yelled at me first

what you cannot see,
a thousand cuts that never left a scar;
but the river of blood flows freely inside of me,
i will ride along to see where it ends;
but i will never tell you why i let it happen, no
it doesn’t matter anyway; it just felt right at the time

let us dig a hole together;
not for ourselves, but to bury our pain,
our assumptions of hate,
towards them,
and towards ourselves;
we will go our own way now;
but you first,
the shovel gleams with anticipation,
while my heart watches you bury a sermon,
and plant a heart of your own

The injustice
either hardens or breaks the human mind
The mind
must choose how to fight against the injustice
The choice
of non-violence is not a sign of weakness
The knowledge
of why you fight is more important than the fight
The strength
to suffer is the time between despair and triumph
The ability
to turn the other cheek is the holiest weapon
The act
of vengeance is the weakness of a human being
The love
for the wounded is the reason they follow you
The memory
of the dead is the passion to believe in the vision
The revolution
in you ends when you no longer hate a stranger

Walking a straight line
It’s not so easy even with a Bible and love for your children
That’s what they say anyway

But my thoughts are not so still
I can still smell salt near the ocean
My breath quickens in mountain air
And I feel humility in every moment

There are no obstacles I cannot recognize
Because the path is my own
All that is required
Is the strength to overcome my sin

What sound cannot be summoned from within
What memory cannot be recalled at will
But I see you watching me
As I watch you
Your distance is the same as mine
I can only wonder if my journey is the same as yours

Could you that I would with you as I could if you would with me

The confusion of a life constructed to endure
The questions of loyalty to decisions already made
It does not mean I could never love you

It only means I do not know where to begin

Mystic seagull, flying close to the water
Your reflection, hidden beneath your wing
Though we watch, it’s only you that can see
From where we came, there is no other light
What we believe is wrong, what you know is right

White winged shaman, your sails fill the air
All your memories, you place upon the shore
What we hear, the roar of oceans in our ears
Only the misting air understands crashing waves
Can you tell me the secrets of my coming days?

In the days of tides that washed my soul
And breezes that would always blow
We would always remember
How the land would always know
Unspoken sentiment poured itself out
Through eyes that can only see
The things that we love the most
But are unable to speak or conceive

Bird once in flight, light upon my shoulder
Speaking in tongues, happy only to be
Casting about, holding only what you need
When you held them, a kiss made them believe
To carry us with you, only fear could ever grieve

When I look at you it is what you know that I want
We shared what truth only makes with a sound
You said meet me where salt meets the land
Only shells know where hearts could be found

In the days of tides that washed my soul
And breezes that would always blow
We would always remember
How the land would always know
Unspoken sentiment poured itself out
Through eyes that can only see
The things that we love the most
But are unable to speak or conceive