your crying, bright green, bloodshot eyes remind me of christmas in a sad way.
like shattered ornaments.

maybe she just has a thing for older guys.
it doesn't make her strange...just different.
but maybe she's just a kid with daddy issues
waiting for some guy to fill that spot
and looking in all the wrong places.*

Fathers: Take care of your daughters.

The mess you made?
I was left to clean.
I scrubbed it spotless,
While you skipped 3,000 miles
Like a rotten fiend.

You’re a shadow of the man I thought you were--
Or who I had hoped you were, at least.

Every good deed you’ve done
Has been thrown back in my face
As proof of your love.
While every mistake I made
You never forgave.

Consider these my parting words
Because, finally, I’m done

I can’t take the constant abuse.
The emptiness I feel has no use.
Forever *******
By life’s vicious wheel
Of misfortune.

I hope you’re happy with your new life
That's not any part of mine.

Since I’ve been such an awful daughter
it’s not a huge loss now, is it?

Didn’t think you’d admit it.

But I’m far better than you, you see--
I gave you countless chances
And let you back in.

I believed that you changed,
But you proved me wrong.

I wish you well,
I really do.

No matter what you may think,
Part of me will always love you.
You’re my father, my blood, after-all.

But you left me,
So why wouldn’t anyone else?
I play that game constantly with myself-
Shut down. Turn off.

When it comes to relationships,
It’s living hell
To get the real me
To come out of this hardened shell
That you helped me build.
Quite a lonely guild.

I’ll fight every urge to mistrust men,
But walking down the wedding isle
My arm will bend
With no hand to hold.
I’ll face the world alone--
Exactly the way you left me,
The way you wanted it.

This is everything you asked for, isn’t it?

So I’ll be the bigger person for one last time:
I wish you well;
Goodbye.

Loneliness seems to be decorated like a gift.
Covered by the whispers of people and carved by their oh so curious eyes.
If only it were as simple as being alone in a room for more than 10 seconds.
I've never been able to completely grasp onto the meaning of the word "Lonely".
Yet the silence of the world has caused my lungs to fill with the drowning sensation I have so carefully attempted to avoid.
Some people call it "daddy issues"; My constant need for comfort and companionship all derived from my "daddy" walking out on me as a child.
I refuse to believe it is that simple. The choking caused by my inability to swim while being dragged down by a cinder block is simply a sensation; I have this "adrenaline ***** vibe"  about me they said. It is only a useless attempt at filling the void you've created.
Loneliness... It falls between Falling in and out of love, deciding on if you want or need someone there to comfort you. Loneliness, it occurs in any in-between moment of silence. This never ending abyss of a word has been pulling me in, as if the twinkle in my eye that came with "Oh look she has your eyes Albert!" Never existed.
I refuse to believe that this entire time all the bad things that went wrong with me along the way were just a domino affect of you walking out.
If I could go back ten years from a week before my seventeenth birthday I would tell six year old me not to invite that man to her birthday because he will simply disappoint her.
$100.00 isn't love, it is passing by with the least amount of effort.