You are a tornado.
You spin anyone too close to you, leaving them in a dizzy fit.
You break them before they break you.
No wonder I thought I loved you.
A tornado like me.
Promising trouble at every turn.
You whispered, "I love you".
Presenting it with secrecy.
Holding me hostage with twisted logic.
I am a tornado, I admit it.
And two tornados only bring more chaos.
I'm self-destructive but, you're too much for me.
Your lips were drowned in chloroform.
And I kissed you for the burn.
The same way I smoke cigarettes to pollute my lungs.
We drag each other to hell.
Shoot each other's hearts.
Naming it love, so we don't have to call it "just ***".
You were always too much for me.
Too much chaos.
In return, I was presented with such little love.
We wrapped up each other's hearts.
Hid them in the shelves.
And danced away our summer days in my sheets.
I find it easier to try and convince everyone.
Even myself that I no longer love you.
Baby, all of it is so much easier.
It's easier than admitting the truth.
All my love for you.
Has nowhere to go anymore.
No books in my shelves.
No songs in my head.
No hearts in my heart.
There are not enough drugs for the pressure to ease.
The struggle to feel baby, nothing can release me.
Highs always come crashing down.
Every bridge burns to the ground.
A chest with no toys.
A board with no pieces.
You tore me to pieces.
Stealing all my peace.
Hurricane winds and messy minds.
My thighs around your waist, nothing can ease me.
Night loving never seems to ease me.
I am a ghost of who I'm not.
Just a person filling this slot.
Emotionless robot bracing for a fall.
All just leading to no healing.
Wrapped around your heart.
I am just another knot you cut off.
Dropping to the floor.
The fire burned me.
There is no fight left in me.
Nothing I can do to make it right.
Take my armor and, put my sword right through me.
Leave me to die, there's nothing good left in me.
I'm sorry but, I'm leaving me.
Put a peace sign up.
Nothing can come from me.
Sweet words are nothing.
Words so empty, and fruitless.
No "sweetheart" will fix it.
How can your words still hurt me?
After all, you deserted me.
Time and, time again.
Do you feel like a man?
With my clothes tossed in trash bags.
When you're tossing me out, like the garbage you never throw out.
Do you feel like the man?
When you scream my worthless life lies in your hands.
Wrecking every defense I have put up.
How dare you wonder why I'm so messed up?
Jumping at every shout.
The shivers when I greet authority.
The name calling never gets old.
The words ring in my head like a catchy song.
The shouts echo in my brain.
You wanted to break me.
Wounding me so emotionally.
Scarring me like a ghost haunting me.
Don't try and play daddy.
Now that I have disappointed you.
You're too late.
Remember when you told me?
How you hoped I ended up in a wooden crate.
That's the night you really left me.
Do you feel like the man now?
My heart is addicted.
A love it can not grasp.
Withdrawal is an infernal hell.
Nostalgic for the heaven in your arms.
Angelic chocolate eyes drowning me in an ocean of love.
Strawberry lips entrapping me in crystal skies.
Breathing abandonment in like oxygen.
Left on the shelf with books you never read.
Bleeding wounds and running on empty.
Loving you was breathtaking.
Now I am left breathless.
Addicted to wanting more.
My thoughts have officially lost it.
I found my goals and mapped it.
Discovered my pain and masked it.
Lost my soul, and I'm stuck here.
Trapped without it.
I'm running all these miles on manipulation.
Not a moment of hesitation.
Riled up lionhearts.
Dashing into every darts.
It's my gun and, I keep jumping into all of this.
This is a mess, a puzzle that nobody can solve.
My heart is addicted to this pain.
There is no way to stop it.
Running all these signs.
Racing all these lights.
No doubt about it, it's definite now.
Full-forced through the windshield.
I don't like the cards I was dealt.
Waiting it out, playing every card.
Desperate for a win.
Seal up the doors, don't let the devil in.
He's coming to collect me for my sins.
I have collected one too many sins.
My shots are just hitting the rims.
And I keep shooting.
I'm still losing, and I choose to keep on.
I'm far beyond exhausted.
All of it's costing me too much.
Losing it all in the hopes of getting everything I have ever wanted.
Daunted by my demons.
And I'm haunted by feelings.
I keep trying to find my meaning, so desperate for any type of reason.
To keep on despite all these dealings.
Concealing all of this. Shielding all of this.
Just by breathing.
Life's a *****. Make it yours.
Ripped off my training wheels.
Punctured my wheels.
Tore off the handles.
Hide and seek games.
Lost among the trees.
Never bothering to seek me.
Flying with my fairy wings.
Running with the magic stored in me.
Caught me and clipped me to the wall.
Witnessed me stack my lego blocks.
Kicked it down.
Crushing my castle.
Dancing with the sun.
Watched me sway off beat.
Burned my tutu to ashes.
The wind smiling with my superhero cape.
Locking you away.
But bad guys always break free.
Tag, you're it.
Chasing me away.
Falling every time I try to escape.
Drawing you Father's day cards.
Watched as you crumpled them up.
Tossing me away.
Baby walking on the broken glass.
Blood on his knees and the blood on his feet.
Mommy curled up in the corner hoping it wouldn’t last.
Trapped in the bottles he tossed to the corner.
Hoping habits will break.
Replacing one love with another.
Bottles never asked question.
He picked them up and he tossed them.
Hitting the floor and breaking at the corner.
Nothing mattered anymore when he picked up the bottle.
Drowning in the sorrows because he trapped himself onto this carousel.
Handcuffed and chained as he bowed down to the bottle.
Broken father striking out his son like baseball.
Too many strikes and the little boy was gone.
Little boy broken into a broken man.
Picked up a bat and he swung and he swung.
Breaking the carousel.
Liquor in the air and he’s sick to his stomach.
Cigarette holes burned into his sides.
Tattoos covering the glass that invaded his skin.
Breaking the carousel so it won’t ever happen again.
Daddy never called her princess.
Never did he pick her up to place upon his shoulder.
Once in a blue moon.
He picked up a check.
He did not like cake.
Or blowing out candles.
That he made clear.
Little girl longed for loving arms.
She found them in lover after lover.
She needed to be loved.
She always loved too much or too little.
Lovers lips made her feel less alone.
She ****** strangers so the bed wouldn’t lay cold.
So maybe one day someone can finally stay.
The feelings I got.
They want to arise.
I tell them sorry, no blue skies.
These wounds they'll bleed.
I'm no nurse.
But it's nothing I can't handle.
Those lips of yours.
Oh, they tell the prettiest lies.
Things too pretty to come from you.
Nothing but pretty lies.
And guilty hope.
Tell me secrets.
The dark ones.
The ones too ugly to see the light.
Secrets safe with me.
I'm just a vault in the ocean.
That won't be set free.
May faith be resilient.
The doors have been bolted shut.
The only way out is up.
I promised to hurt you in the most beautiful way.
To love your broken soul.
To mend what was shattered.
To kiss your tear-stained face.
To hold you at your weakest.
Only to hurt you again.
Only to slam the door.
Only to kiss you goodbye.
Just to strike you in your fragile state.
And watch you fall at your knees.
Asking, why did you have to hurt me?
I told you not to love me.
My touch is toxic.
I break what I love.
And I love you to pieces.
But now I've left you in pieces.
For that, I'm sorry.
When we face death, we appreciate life.
When we face life, we appreciate death.
Society has us all drugged on the idea, that if we have money, we have happiness.
"You played me like a game. Only I didn't notice until I was grieving for my losses."
"I fell for a nobody loves me kind of guy. Maybe it's because I'm a nobody loves me kind of girl."
I feel for a boy.
He never loved before.
His eyes were broken.
I loved him anyway.
I feel for the mess.
I feel for his pain.
I hope to mend his shattered heart.
The glass was too broken.
I loved him anyway.
He kissed another girl.
He said he was almost happy.
I loved him anyway.
If I had a gun right now.
I would aim it to the sky.
I would declare the world to **** itself.
If I was in love right now.
I would kiss them goodbye.
I would declare my love to them.
If I had billions right now.
I would buy my mother a house.
I would declare myself broke.
If I had friends right now.
I would share with them my secrets.
I would declare my betrayal.
If I was happy right now.
I would be at ease.
I would declare my tranquility.
To all the bitter "if's"
"It takes five seconds or less to fall apart. It takes a lifetime to put ourselves together."
We stand in a crowded hallway.
But it feels empty.
It’s just the two of us.
Staring blankly into each other’s eyes.
Wondering whether or not to say “HI”.
Or to walk away and stay as the strangers we now were.
We stare into each other’s eyes debating whether or not, to hold the door.
Wondering if it was worth starting a conversation.
Knowing we wouldn't work anyway.
We were friends at some point.
Then something more.
Now were merely strangers.
We tore apart before we really ever were together.
We left each other waiting for the other to make the next move.
We left each other open and vulnerable.
You shut down.
And shut me out.
You packed up
You left and I stood waiting.
I awaited a hopeless tomorrow.
You eventually came back.
Apologizing, saying you don’t know how to say goodbye.
And I left saying, “I don’t know how to say goodbye either”.
Here we are today.
Nothing but strangers.
Passing each other in the crowded high school hallway.
With nothing but blank stares.
Don’t you act like you’re the victim.
When you’re the one who always left.
Don’t you leave me behind.
Don’t you claim your betrayal.
Don’t you act like you’re not fine.
But I’m the one who’s really dying.
Don’t you act like you’re on fire.
But I am the one who’s burning.
We played a sorry game.
Hoping the other feels our pain.
We act like we are standing.
But we are drowning with the rain.
Hoping things are going to change.
But in the end they never really do.
You and I are stuck with some toxic glue.
Maybe you and I were never designed to see the light.
But to fight it out instead.
I stand in the ring, awaiting the alarm to ring.
So I could strike you with all the pain I have buried deep inside.
Let it out, ignite it with some fire.
Let the flames burn to ashes.
Because I want to leave the pain behind.
I want to leave the ache alone.
Lock it in a chest.
Bury it in a dark room.
You cheated on my mother with your insignificant other.
She was carrying your child, whilst you were in bed with another.
You had a family.
A child on the way.
A loyal wife on your side.
How could that not matter?
I suppose we don't matter either.
In all honesty I never expected more.
All the Father's day cards I never sent.
All the I love you's I pray you never get.
All The I love you's my mother never heard.
She deserves better.
Your "marriage" is absurd.
Your "commitment" has been murdered.
Don't tell me what to do!
God knows you haven't done a thing.
My crown has been stolen.
My tutu stained.
My castle has crumpled.
All of it seems to have been nothing more than a foolish childhood game.
"I remember staying up this late for you. Now, I am staying up this late because of you."
"When i fell in love with you. I fell for it all. The cracks in your world. The smile on your face. I fell in love with your past and your passions. I saw the beauty through your eyes, and I have seen the pain."
Being drunk doesn't excuse it.
"You didn't know what you were doing."
"I love him, he's my son."
You don't remember what you did.
Do you know he still does?
The purple in his cheeks.
Look at what you have done.
Harmed your own son.
It hurts when he laughs.
His cheeks sting as he cries.
Back jolts up as it touches the back of his chair.
Is it fair?
The boy scared of wearing a belt.
It reminds him of his father.
The way he cornered him, till he was a pleading and crying mess.
The smell of alcohol lingering in the air.
It makes him sick.
He runs his hands up his left arm.
Cigarette burned holes scattered.
He couldn't take one more beating.
He didn't know how.
He tried his hardest.
As he closed his eyes.
He tried suicide.
He tried it all, the pills, the windows.
He couldn't do it.
Leave his mother and brothers behind.
Just because you were drunk, and can't remember. Doesn't mean they don't. They remember the betrayal. The broken trust. How does a parent do that to their child
"I feel as if my life has been put on a great pause. As i watch everyone else's success march on."
1.I hope to wake up one day and be happy with a mirror.
2.I aim to be able to go to a supermarket and restaurant and not see calories.
3.I hope to be able to eat and not see a body four times my actual size.
4.I hope to lose the ability of crying on que.
5.I want to lose the image in my head of perfection, with the photoshopped celebrity.
6. I want to lose the fake smile.
7. I want to generally be happy.
8. I hope to do something significant
365 days have passed.
All the sights are supposed to change.
Yet they remain the same.
People are making promises and goals they can't possibly keep.
Claiming they "want to lose weight" or they "want to save money".
But what really does change?
No one changes.
The inside never does.
The outside always looking for the latest fashion.
Tell me world.
What do you attempt to change?
Is it the violence the new generation will be forced to face?
Or will it be the terrible economy left for the young ones to fix?
Maybe it is the poverty the third world faces?
Hopefully it involves making the world a better place
The change is clear.
It’s in my writing.
It’s in my words.
I have fought a battle.
One with a persistent battle.
One with darkness in its nature.
I made it.
I made it out somewhat alive.
I made it out somewhat happy.
A suicidal mess.
It’s the impossible.
For the darkened one’s to possess love.
I now see the sun rise.
I see it bring life to the dying.
I see it lift spirits after a rainstorm.
Love, has glued me back.
I hope it’s not temporary.
I hope this one lasts.
Your eyes were my escape.
Your laugh reminds me of happier times.
Your smile tells a story.
A story of another tortured soul.
The way you carry a burden of family.
The reason you do well in school.
The way you listen to rap tells another.
You listen to stories told by people who live their dreams.
You dream of something better.
You refuse to drink, saying it never got anyone anywhere.
But I know you.
You want to forget the world.
You want to forget the pain.
You want to forget the life you live.
Somehow, you never can.
You could never forget your father left.
You could never forget your financial troubles.
You could never forget your mother’s long hours.
I know you carry a heavy guilt.
You carry it with you everywhere you go.
You try pleasing everyone.
Moving mountains, and carrying the sun.
But it’s never enough.
Walking fast in crowded halls.
Speaking words that have gone unheard.
Stares cut through.
Let me see, let me here. What you got to say.
You tell me it's nothing but vapid word.
Meant to go unheard.
But what happens when you listen?
What happens when you hear?
How is that not important?
How am I still here?
Watching and waiting.
For words to be spoken.
For glares to send me death.
What happens when the words are heard?
When their twisted and turned.
When they pick and pry.
Does no one know?
How your words hurt me?
How they align themselves in my mind.
And whisper, and speak, and scream.
Telling me all that's wrong with me.
All while I walk through crowded halls.
Judging away with hatred in their eyes.
Never lose your way of life.
Never lose sight of the sun.
Promise me, you will find your way out of the dark.
Promise me, you will look at the sky and see it full of dreams.
I never want you vapid.
I need the hope in your eyes alive when you say goodbye.
Your life has always been so full of color.
Keep it that way.
Color over and in the black and white.
Light up the streets at night.
Erase the silence with the sound of your laugh.
Save the world with your hope.
Ride out the sun with your glory days.
Fly over trouble with your wise ways.
Fight the dark.
Live in the sun.
Dance with the rain.
They say us poets are tortured souls.
They say we see the morbidity in everything.
Some say we witness the true beauty.
We fall in love with other tortured souls.
The souls hidden in by cruelty.
We fall in love with souls of beauty.
The ones who have seen pain
The ones who stand through it all
The one who still smiles
The laugh that goes unbroken
A happy go way of life
Eyes so full of living
I wonder what it's like to fall in love
I wonder what it's like to marry your best friend
I wonder what it's like to wake up with love in your eyes
I wonder what it's like to get flowers on Valentine's Day
I wonder what it's like to listen to love songs and understand it
I wonder what it's like to wake up with "I love you" texts
How does something so abstract hurt you or heal you?
How does something you can't touch have the ability to **** you?
How does one open their heart to such danger?
What is love?
What does the word even mean?
Why can't I feel it?
Tell me world.
What is like to marry the person you love?
What is like to make a commitment that could **** you inside?
How do you not run from such danger?
How do you stay through a storm?
How are you willing to stay through such hard times?
What does it feel like?
To be there through it all.
To look upon a face and know that's the one you want for the rest of your time here
Your eyes are empty.
Your soul is pained.
Your smile is forced.
Tell me your pain.
I want to see your smile.
I want to see you laugh.
I want to see you sing.
I know you aren’t happy.
It’s killing me inside.
All the pain in your heart.
Please, tell me why.
Tell me why.
Tell me why a beautiful boy is so pained.
Let it all out.
Every little thing.
Everything, tell me it all.
Just let all your tears fall.
You bottled them up for too long.
Open up, and let the pain escape.
Let the pain, leave you.
I promise I would stay.
Stay, I will.
I love you too much.
I want to see you smile again.
I want to see you love life again.
Just let your tears fall.
Let your pain escape.
26 letters of the English language.
Twenty-six letters strung in all the right places.
Twenty-six letters strung out in all the wrong places.
How powerful could twenty-six letters really be?
The power of words is often underestimated.
Fore they could mend a broken heart.
They could save a life.
And yet, words could start a war.
Words can rip apart the very fabric of your heart.
Words can break everything inside you.
Or they could fix whatever’s left.
Don’t let these lies fool you.
Words have meaning.
Words hurt and words heal.
The wounds are cut open.
The scars are healing.
Words really do hurt.
Believe me when I tell you.
It’s not a pretty picture.
A world full of hateful words.
A broken heart scattered here and there.
A happy soul left and right.
Words have meaning.
Words are what you are reading.
Words change the world.
"Where lies light must also lie darkness. And where lies darkness must also lie light. Fore how else would you tell the difference."
I control the machine,it doesn't control me
I control the pen, in which is used for my deepest thoughts
I control the knife, yet I can't control the bleeding
I can't control me healing
I have never been able to control feelings
I can't control the Poets soul
I could change my body, but never the scars
I could change the color of my eyes, but never the pain behind them
I could change my heart, but never mend the cracks
We could only change and control so much
we sit awaiting a tragedy
life goes up
life goes down
love is all around
surround me in safety
drown me with sincerity
love me excessively
guard me defensively
love me until eternity
"We teach children not to use violence. Yet we raise them in a world where violence is the only way to get things done."
"As we build our Earth, we are also destroying it"
Society, the town
People, the house
Everyone sees what lies outside
The flowers in the garden
The toys that scatter our yard
The white picket fences that border, just on the edge of society
However,we let them inside
We let them in eventually
As we show them who we are
The paint that colors our walls
The books that lie on our shelves
The songs that are constantly playing
On the rate occasion we let someone in
They get a very slight glance of our deepest thought
Our deepest thoughts, the ones kept hidden behind the heaviest of safes
The deepest thoughts that never witness the light of day
The thoughts kept hidden under lock and key
My brain is the gun.
My thoughts the bullets.
My hand is the trigger.
Society's hateful words pull it.
Standing on sidelines.
The desire to fight.
Fuming beneath the surface.
To stand on one side of a warzone.
To fight for, to live for, to die for.
Red, White, and Blue.
A country in which freedom rings true.
"Leading your life is like leading your way out of a maze.It is hard, and at most times it seems impossible. Its either all your fault your lost. Or, your success that you made it out, and no one could take either of the two away."
— The End —