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 Oct 2017 Marissa Rozas
Barker
There are words scribbled across a torn page.
There is a stain of red on it.

A mother reads it as she falls slowly onto her knees.
A father who never cared screams and slams the door.

He kneels down to hug her.
She opens her mouth, but no words are spoken.

She is in shock.
She looks at him.

The dad screams at her begging her to say something.

She doesn't.

She just stares at him.
Mouth open and tears dripping down the side of her cheeks.
(c)ibarker
Tomorrow I'll drink three monsters

And pray that I will live.

Because it became too much for me

And I'm not the one you're with.



The caffeine will bring my mood up

Just enough so you can't see

The scars that hang around my wrists

And the demons chasing me.
 Oct 2017 Marissa Rozas
Middy
You can't take it
You can't live with it
The pain is too much
The kids at school
They keep hurting you
Or maybe it was your father
Maybe your mother
Maybe they're both dead
Like how you will be soon
Maybe you're in love with abusers
Maybe you are simply sad
But either way
You can't take it anymore

You take a rope from the attic
You grab a gun from the cuboard
You steal a knife from the kitchen
You're at the bridge over the river
You're on a railway with a train
Wherever you are
Whatever you have
It doesn't matter now

You take a rope from the attic
The kids at school
They taunt you and laugh
They say they wish you were dead
Well their wish is coming true
You're suffocating
You're silent
You're gone

You grab a gun from the cuboard
Safety is off
You're in your room
You whisper a goodbye
To the father who hurt you
To the brother who loves you
BANG
The shot can be heard for miles
You're gone

You steal a knife from the kitchen
Your mother's prying eyes
Who breaks your heart
With hateful words
You're in your bathroom
You hold the knife to your wrist
Your lifeline is bleeding out
The blood is on the white floor
You're gone

You're on a bridge
There's a cold and fast flowing
River of tears and sorrow
Your mother is gone
Your father is gone
Time for you to go
You leave your other family
Who are grieving with you
You jump
You fall
You're gone

You're at a railway with a train
Ready to hit you with pain
It wouldn't be the driver's fault
It was the abuser
You thought loved you
But you were wrong
You are hit by the train
It stops with your broken heart
You're gone

Where is the rope burn?
It burns your parents
They weep and wail
They lost their child
They're sunk into a sea of sadness
They read the note
They beg dear god above
" why were we not enough? "

Who did you shoot?
Your brother's chest
He's staring silently
At his sibling's dead body
As he stutters and sobs
He wonders
" why was I not enough? "

Who was stabbed?
Why your sister
She doesn't know who to talk to
She doesn't know who can help
As she screams for the neighbors
As your heartbeat stops
" why was I not enough? "

Who drowned?
The family you left behind
Your uncle is silent
Your aunt is shocked
Your cousins, your grandparents
They cant believe it
" why were we not enough? "

Where is the wound?
It bleeds in your friends' hearts
No matter how many you have
Or rather had
They can't stop crying
They can't stop thinking
" why were we not enough? "

Your name is in the papers
You're on the front covers
The world is full of tears
The news reporter is upset
There's a book with your name
There's ****** roses on your grave
Marked with your name

You stop
You think
You put away the rope
You put the gun back
You replace the knife
You walk away from the bridge
You run off the railway
You hide your tears in the rain
But you think
Think, think.
Maybe you can live one more day
Or two days, three days,
Four days, five days, six days
A week or two
A month or more
A year or so
Maybe forever
You won't take away the pain by killing yourself. All you'll do is pass it on
People care, I promise they do.
If no one does, I do.
 Oct 2017 Marissa Rozas
sophia
Dear Daddy,
Do you know what these men say to me?

With their
eyes and their mouths
when I walk on the street.

With a grin and a nod
and a look up and down.
A wink and a kiss
and a cat call heard from downtown.

With my skirt short
and my top
low,
It’s a cold world daddy
and no
doesn’t mean no.

Daddy do you know
how these men look at me?

Like I’m a piece of meat
strutting down the street?
With my head buds in
and my favorite song on.

I’m asking for it Daddy,
I’m in the wrong.

Do you know how it feels
not to wear what I like?

To walk a little faster
when I’m alone at night?

Daddy the world is my predator
and I am it's doe,
Daddy what happens
when I can’t say no?
 Oct 2017 Marissa Rozas
Contoured
Your heart was set on mine,
Or so you'd always claim.
Every time you messed up,
It was me who took the blame.
I allowed this to go on,
For a great amount of time.
Until one day I had enough,
I took back what was mine.
This action did not please you,
So you tried again, once more.
You said this time was "different,"
Struck the problem at its very core.
You'd made a little game,
Of catch and then release.
The tragedy of it all:
I didn't want the game to cease.
 Oct 2017 Marissa Rozas
Poetic T
loitering between
         earth
                       and air,

A cord of
                in-between
moments.

As we regret or
                breath relief,
of life's final moments..
 Oct 2017 Marissa Rozas
Lost Boy
I can't believe
I left you..
The only thing I'd ever loved
For someone else
Who couldn't compare to you.
She has the long hair
And the prettiest face
But no intellect
Nor any grace.
I miss how you would
Live in the moment.
Because all she does
Is post every second online.
I miss our late roof-top talks
Because all she ever does is whine.
I miss your laugh
I miss your smile
I miss your realness
And every inch of your beautiful body
Because now I'm with someone
Who's too shallow to feel love
All because
I was too scared to love you
front page 2/17/18
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