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Apr 2019 · 247
An ordinary day
Manauwer Raza Apr 2019
It's so hard to tell, what all am I going through
The rain has drenched me wet,  my eyes are all blue
My lips smiles soft, as in not to give my truth away
But the emptiness creep in,  the hole in my heart's doorway
It's all in a mess, my mind isn't the same
There are terrible facade of happiness, all of which is sham
The counsel of whats, ifs and all the buts
The uneasy feeling that gnaw me from inside, always in my guts
As if something is broken all from the inside, a knife that carves
Pieces by pieces it's falling apart, in shards and plenty of halves
I am my own saviour, my own hero as long as I go
There are no good mornings, no good byes, no hello
Unable to share myself to anyone, this burden gets heavy more than it should
But, even if I do, it won't make any sense, as you all fight your demons, you should
And again, its all momentarily, where I learn to fly above all these with wings
Around the silver lining, above the clouds of hope, but coming down is the hardest thing
It's getting tougher and tougher each passing day
And yet, somehow, I am supposed to feel, it didn't happen yesterday
Feb 2019 · 336
Little Girl
Manauwer Raza Feb 2019
Little one, little one
The sky is falling
Your lifeboat of dreams
Is now sailing
In the wake all the way
No rhyme or reason
Your gloomy eyes
Shows your heart rains a rainy season

Little girl, little girl
Why are you sighing?
Inside your restless soul
Your heart is really crying

So, Runaway
From the river to the shore
And find yourself within
You're the reflection of your hopes
There is always places you can go
You only get to live it all, only once

@manauwer raza
Jul 2018 · 331
Remembrance
Manauwer Raza Jul 2018
Remembrance, a story of trying to put things together
Where the best moments drifts through floating
While I look at my hands and spaces between my fingers...

The sparks of life would make all those darkness fade
Bring light of hopes and wishes to come true
The marks of which are now completely erased...

But these are the memories I already know
Which need no luxury, no expression to show
It's all about the disappointment of just letting go...

It's based on something that can't be saved
All blatant lies, the falsity, the blame
For things have changed and they can't stay the same...

Sometimes I wonder if you're even here
For my mind refrain to speak your name
And the picture I see seems so unclear...

So, I'll just say what needs to be said
The fights are fought and the elegies are read
But for remembrance of you, my memories are all numb and dead...
@manauwer
Jun 2018 · 381
The Red Moon
Manauwer Raza Jun 2018
the sky overhead
turned red
as if, there was a sign
for a storm to come by
and may be
the early breeze
was just a comfort
to reach out to you
to make you realize
the things you are to endure
is better, if you kept the breeze
in your mind and soul...
Jun 2018 · 312
Ugly Hearts
Manauwer Raza Jun 2018
it's sad to realize and hurts to see
how humane is it to be human
and the worst that could be
for I see people turning themselves apart
delusional with false sense of pride
they are just beautiful faces with an ugly heart
written upon the pretext of jealousy and false appearance
Aug 2017 · 491
Shy
Manauwer Raza Aug 2017
Shy
she...!!!
walking playfully, gleaming, smiling...
well I don't care what she's doing and why...
except her reaction when I see her come by...

I approach...
but I feel the sensation, and vertigo...
when my world turns upside down...
unable to discern and yet not I frown...

I freeze...
as i fixate all my attention to her eyes...
thinking of something intelligent to say...
but turns out fool, all in that way...

I turn around...
but my throats already dry...
I cannot help it with, words...
even if I had enough guts to say anything to her...

another day goes by...
without saying a word...
its not that easy you know...
because I'm just too...
shy...!!!
Jul 2017 · 338
Of Things Of Past
Manauwer Raza Jul 2017
i've written countless wishes
in the corners of my notebook
but the hopes remains closed
and none, but none of them came true
and i just left things behind
and then words went flying
flying flying flying
wherever i went
flying forever and ever
with wings of wax
@manauwer
Dec 2016 · 548
I, the liar
Manauwer Raza Dec 2016
comfort in shade and shadows
trust in all lies that follows
like fools believing
of truth that never been told
and hope for the better tomorrow
and I for one, am the liar

throw up in the stairs
stained with the spoils of time
some broken words
and wishful scream, echoes
death, doesn't takes you afar
and I for one, am the liar

sleepless nights, turning sour
silence to tears, tears to cries
denial of the days passed by
will be there always, end of time and
consumed by sudden loss
and I for one, am the liar

reasons none, and a cheating love
not your fault but mine
your heart being on the line
expecting accepting from where it came
but body and not your soul
and I for one, am the liar

its empty in words and makes less sense
valleys of fears and harvest left behind
becoming something that you never were
finding strength in all the pain
its just me or is it my name
and I for one, am the liar
an abstract form of write.. describing life and its aspects from my point of view... saying, its all, but a lie...
it makes no sense, with understanding and figuring out what life really is...
and in the end, its me who is a liar, believing in it...
Sep 2016 · 291
Burdened
Manauwer Raza Sep 2016
pulverized,
when they need someone to rely on...
someone to talk to,
someone to share thoughts upon...

they turn to me,
for i always be...
in the dark and in hopelessness
i stand there, and they see...

but, enough already...
for my feet are sore and the shoulders heave...
and helping others, i have lost me, time and beyond
i remain, still without peace...
Jul 2015 · 420
smile
Manauwer Raza Jul 2015
m not sure, whats been through all
i try not to stare
but my eyes slips through the wall

you standing there in your beautiful blue
we see each other and smile
and the dimple deepens, i see it too

'm replaying those moments of you
thinking what all were said
but i remember, they are always a few

so these are moments only you could make
without doing nothing, but,
i promise, i am not saying it for your sake

this could take time and a while
and i just want you to know
without trying or knowing you can always make me smile
Jul 2015 · 593
der Schmetterling Seele
Manauwer Raza Jul 2015
oh! Schmetterling,

der Schmetterling Seele...

oh! ! der süßer Duft...

komm zu mir, wenn,

nicht im Sinne...

und gießen Sie mich..

der Nektar der Liebe...
my first attempt in writing in German... :)
Jul 2015 · 462
Beauty
Manauwer Raza Jul 2015
people see what's in front of them
but, not all see the same...
all I know is when I see her face
sometimes I can't remember my name...

I find it hard not to stare at her
sweet smile and eyes beautifully true...
I could look at her all day
she once told me that sometimes I do...

the physical part of her beauty
the half you see is one part...
the other half is the greatest
that is the beauty within her heart...

the fascination she gives, without question
is the best gift she could ever bestow...
covered in divine, all white and blue
she's the most beautiful woman I know...

even if she doesn't agree with it
to me, she is wonderful and giving...
and I know deep in my heart
she is the one seraphic angel living...
*@manauwer
Apr 2015 · 577
Don't Ask Me
Manauwer Raza Apr 2015
am i allowed
to make a face
am i allowed
to change
'm just going to lie down for a bit
it's all i need to stay sane
don't ask me
if 'm alright
well 'm fine
in my mind
don't ask me
to tell you
how 'm feeling
there's no reason

am i allowed
to make your day
am i allowed
to say
that all i need is a little space
all i need is a break
don't ask me
if 'm alright
well 'm fine
in my mind
don't ask me
to tell you
how 'm feeling
there's no reason

and all i really wanna do
is wait for the rain
all i really wanna do
is sit here and pray
and all i really want from you
is to understand
but you can't understand
don't ask me
if 'm alright
well 'm fine
in my mind
don't ask me
to tell you
how 'm feeling
there's no reason
Apr 2015 · 430
a promise to HER
Manauwer Raza Apr 2015
and everyone who sees her, wants her...
to be with her, to feel her...
to cherish her, to love her...
and if not the least, a part of her...
yes, everyone who sees her, wants her...

undoubtedly, she is gifted...
gifted with the best, that words can't explain...
simplicity, beauteous, angelic,
everything, that makes her beautiful...
those eyes, those smiles, the way she shies, everything...

and i am no different, i want her too...
but this want is different,
there is no lust, in it...
its just a simple wish, to be with...
with a friend, because, she is,
a friend, a good one, i had...

and time and passed again...
someday when it will all fade...
the wish, the wants, would die,
but i will still hold it together...
for she, will still be my friend,
i promised, i would never forget...
@manauwer
a friend of mine had his story shared and  i came up with this one...
Apr 2015 · 330
the Wait
Manauwer Raza Apr 2015
drift
when the shadows fall apart
find
the last of all the pieces of heart
faith
still intact to the depth
and wait
for something to be done

hide
till the faces don't see
cry
till the eyes don't bleed
quiet
so the world mustn't hear
and wait
for something to be done
Mar 2015 · 443
The Slumbers
Manauwer Raza Mar 2015
oh slumber...
wherefore art thou...???
come to me,
when not in senses...
and pour me,
the whiskey of silence
Feb 2015 · 666
delusion
Manauwer Raza Feb 2015
amidst who you are
and who you could be
amidst how it is
and how it should be...

there is a pursuit
and some stories to tell
of shaking hopes
and spaces where you fell...

there isn't a place
where you'd escape and hide
everything pressing against
and the walls on all your side...

you are bleak
cold bruised and sore
but you have to try
try lift yourself up off the floor...

and forget all those
what you feel, what you say
stand up straight to face
it never happened yesterday...
its hard to make one understand, the choices he made in the past, and the suffering it brings, yet, we hold against it, making oneself belief, that he can be better than that...
Feb 2015 · 383
something in you
Manauwer Raza Feb 2015
there is something special in you girl
something striking that makes me sway
whenever you cross my path
whenever i see you walk away

under the sunlight
when you sit and smile
you don't see me but
i glance you, wait, and see a while

with clothes colored of rainbow
and your hairs pulled back
with your black turfs round you
and your beauty filling in the tack

well i just figured it in the breeze today
it seems my silence, is too loud and base
so i close my eyes and begin to pray
then tears of stupidity stream down my face
Jan 2015 · 790
an ordinary girl
Manauwer Raza Jan 2015
she is an ordinary girl
in an ordinary world
and she can't seem to get away...

like a child left behind
lacking the courage in her mind
she just don't let herself sway...

feeling depressed and all alone again
like someone strangled and drenched in pain
wiping the tears from her eyes...

looking at the mirror all by herself
and counting on the window turf
but no one who cares for her cries...

she is an ordinary girl
in an ordinary world
and she can't seem to get away...

with the glimpse of a blink
to the heart that did sink
she cries till today...

and wait for the return
of the one that had shun
her please and her sacrifice...

but she has her clue
and her feelings are true
that her heart did pay the price...
Jan 2015 · 293
you need to know
Manauwer Raza Jan 2015
the more i go through around my head
the more i am sure to think...
my entire life is a lie, a hopeless life lived
things that i did, i see it all in the blink...

and realized a little bit later
you do much better than me...
after all the lies that i made you believe
guilt kicks in and i start to see...

the edge of the long unending nights
where your memories, your sweet words used to be...
continually telling you sweetness, i was there for you
but afraid, i lied, and hid all locks without the key...

what it felt like beside you, when you were there
living in the falsehood, saying, i want to live this moment...
the way your innocence tastes filled, think you should know this
that it was all but a lie, a hoax, a forged event...

while looking through my old piles of notes
i found those pictures i took, that we shared together...
if there's one memory i don't want to ever lose
was resting all my troubles, within your gentle feather...

never expected, never asked, never wanted, to feel
your touch, your hug, your kisses, in my soul...
just cause i loved you unconditionally, without a desire
and not your body, and i claim no foul...

but what i see, i wasn't perfect enough to blend
in the false of everything that would ever show...
that love is, loving alone, and then let go
i wish, this is all, that you need to know...
@manauwer
my friend recently had a breakup and i came up for these lines for him..
Jan 2015 · 301
sometimes...
Manauwer Raza Jan 2015
how often do you think about, why some people came into your life...
was it random, by design, or may be a li'l of both...
regardless of the reason, there are some who you just know are by your side for a while...
others you are not so sure...
and then there is that one person who, well, you hope, someday...
becomes, something more, something more than everything, but, thats okay...
for a guy who has experienced hardships like me, there is one mystery, i haven't figured out yet...
why some people come in your life... why some people go... and others, become a part of you...
some bonds last forever... and others, mmcchhh, far too soon...
not every bond is meant to last a lifetime...
what does last for ever is the PAIN, when that person is gone...
Nov 2014 · 334
If that is LOVE
Manauwer Raza Nov 2014
Have you have wondered
If, how, when and where,
You would ever find true love
And find someone who cared?

Sometimes it takes a lifetime
And sometimes you never do,
But special things take a while
If they're really true.

It didn't take a lifetime,
But pain, hurt and strife
And now that I found you
I know it was all worth the time

Do you love me unconditionally ?
So real and so true ? (NO)
So now I have to wonder,
How did l live without you?

You bring me joy and happiness
In everything you do
And I just want to thank you
And send all my Love to you
Oct 2014 · 365
when you are away
Manauwer Raza Oct 2014
when you are all away
on these autumn day
then you might as well
take all my hopes away

all the birds that fly
in these mountains and blue sky
holding so much love for you
and deep within my hopes, rise high

when these days get young
and the nights are turning long
and the moon stares me still
and the breeze lull you my song

wish if you'd have stayed
we'd have made us a day
like no day has ever been
or would be ever again, I pray

we'd have walked in the sun
and soaked in the drenching rain
we'd have talk to the giant trees
and breathe in the green terrain

I’d then ride on you smile
and dive and sail on your touch
I’d gently talk to your eyes
and tell you I love so much

when you are all away
living in your beautiful land
leave me with just enough love
to hold me in and hold my hand

and by the hours I’ll tell
the world to stop turning
the breeze to stop flowing
and the birds to stop chirping

and wait in love till you return again
as I know, you will, you will always do
but what good is love when
its kept alive without loving you

there'll be everything but nothing left
in the world to trust and face
just a small world, an empty room
all alone and full of empty space

stayed without you, fell from your shadow
I am all lost, vague, without pride
and thinking, if I must have been with you
and you had kept me by your side

and I wonder if I can tell you now
as you are away and so away to go
I’ll be searching for you and dying slowly
till I hear you say your next hello
--
@manauwer
Aug 2014 · 299
The Need For You
Manauwer Raza Aug 2014
oh hie my butterfly, how is you...
what makes your eyes turn so blue...
i think i could use a fresh beginning too...
for all of my regrets are nothing new...
so may be, this is the way that i say i need You...

now when i see where i lie...
its in the past that where i die...
so 'm just learning to leave...
taking all the time, giving me a chance to breathe...
gathering myself in 'm learning to crawl...
trying to find the peace within 'm stopping this howl...
'm finding that YOU and YOU alone...
can break my fall...
'm living again, awake and alive...

'm dying to breathe in these abundant skies...

yesterday i left...
and my head kicked in...
i never knew, all my life where you've been...
i never, never thought that...
i would fall like that...
never knew that i could hurt this bad...

so this could be the way i say...
i need YOU...
this is the way that i say i love YOU...
this is the way that i say 'm YOURs this time...
and with the passing hours you're all mine...
@manauwer
Aug 2014 · 376
A Boy's Dream (Sad)
Manauwer Raza Aug 2014
i know, what it feels like...
but not sure, if you feel it too...
knowing you were somewhere very close...
but yet so away, i couldn't get through...

a moment of happiness wondering if...
we're destined to walk together...
yet, we never did, not in the stars...
not in the moonlit sky, not in the cold weather...

just to see you smile and spend a few solitary moments with you...
walking hand in hand, strolling, keeping you close to me, thats what i wanted...
But nay, this bubble, was just made of expressions...
emotions, feelings, sensations, all but was wrongly chanted...

to feel my butterfly fly, was all i ever wanted...
to rest on her breath as she would pass by me and just linger smile clad...
But the teddy bear hugs were all but a myth, a moment never to come true...
a dream, a boy's dream i never had :'(
@manauwer
Aug 2014 · 505
Coincidence
Manauwer Raza Aug 2014
Standing sober there
Surrounded by drunken cheer
I wonder, coincidence?
You smiling there
In your simple beautiful ways
And your simply-done hair
Staring back at me
Smile, soft and loose
Resting there so naturally
Resisting the urge to look away
As you come in close
Holding nervous breath
In a nervous throat
Waiting to hear your voice
'YOU'
I would love to...
And tell me love,
That 'm not dreaming...
Jul 2014 · 307
A Battle Within
Manauwer Raza Jul 2014
day after day I fight a battle
to hold inside what I feel
strangling, to fight my chances
and cry while in prayers I kneel

its not easy when I smile and talk
while inside I am all hurt and cold
without human warmth or emotion
still walking and facing things bold

years of loneliness
and words stricken with lies
I keep saying to myself holding back
the tears in my eyes

is there anyone out there?
to reach out to me
give me a little of their happiness
and give me a hope to see

I don't need or ask for much
someone who would stand there worth
just a gentle hand on my shoulder
and a care really wouldn't hurt

there is nothing but all truth
in my lies that I say
but not that I am actually lying
this is the truth I deny in some way

'm just tired of crying myself
to sleep at night
then waking up with emptiness
and tears in my eyes
Manauwer Raza Jul 2014
teddy bear hugs and butterfly kisses,
my love is covered in these simple wishes...
I want my friend and loved one to know,
that I am thinking of her and loving her so...

teddy bears with their arms spread wide,
waiting to embrace you and not have to hide...
funny ones and plush ones so precious and sweet,
have been sent in messages everyday this week...

butterfly kisses are so delicate and neat,
when I get one of these it's a real treat...
they come in my way with a simple flutter,
letting me know there is no one like you, no other...

so I hope you won't mind getting one more,
cause I'm sending you my love that's for sure...
I hope it gives you a boost to a wonderful day,
may you be blessed with the suns gentle rays...

these teddy bear hugs and butterfly kisses,
are sent from me with so many good wishes...
have all my love and remember to smile,
this is sent to you from across the miles...

love you butterfly <3
dedicated to my beautiful butterfly :)
Jun 2014 · 443
Finally Found You
Manauwer Raza Jun 2014
just be here, my sweetness
don't let me go off you
for the angels can wait for a moment
and they all know how all it was true

as you come real close
and make me forget the world pry
let me feel this time we're alone
and it's finally you and I

it wasn't meant to feel like this
not unless without you

cause when I look at my life
I couldn't imagine it without getting blue
and how the pieces fall into place
it just wouldn't rhyme without you

walking along with you when I see how my path
seem to end up before your face
a hand tied to mine all this time
why didn't it happen in the very first place

the state of my heart
the place where we are
apart yet near, being a part of you
so close but yet so far

so don't be afraid
I'll and 'm right by your side
through all the laughter and all pain
together we're bound to fly

I wasn't meant to love like this
not unless without you

I made it so very late
and I am sorry, sometimes I do
been through a lot of heartache
but I made it and finally found you
@manauwer
May 2014 · 414
You're
Manauwer Raza May 2014
you're the thought that starts each
morning,
the conclusion to each day...
I envision you in all that I do,
and everything I say...

you're the smile on my face,
the sparkle in my eye that strife...
the warmth inside my heart,
the fullness in my life...

the only hand that's laced to mine,
the shroud upon my back...
my friend and company you have that soul,
I will never turn your trust back...

you're the lines in my psalm,
the constant tingle in my soul and psyche...
the voice that makes me weak,
you're the serene, my pleasure my hike...

you're all that now I want,
all that I need and of yours I be...
you're all I dream of,
you mean so much to me...
@manauwer
May 2014 · 412
You Stayed
Manauwer Raza May 2014
in the quiet time of evening
when the stars assume their patterns
and the day has made its journey
and we wondered what just happened
to the life we knew
before the world changed
when not a thing i had
was true
but you were kind to me
and you reminded me
that whatsoever its bound to change
there are other things that matter
and what is simple needs protecting
or my illusions all would shatter
but you stayed
in my corner
the only world i know was upside-down
and so were yours
but you stayed
and now the world and me
we know you carry me
'm not as good as i thought i was
'm not the boy i used to be because
you show me something different
you show me something pure
i always seemed so certain
but i was really never sure
but you stayed
and you called me again my name
where did i hide it all these time
when others did walk away on me
but you made me look through
and you stayed
but you stayed
@manauwer
May 2014 · 377
You're Gone
Manauwer Raza May 2014
you are gone...
'm barely strong...
not with you by my side anymore...
the world's so unpleasant...
everything is so wrong...

and i wish not now...
to open up my brown eyes...
and see trees...
to loosen my soul now...
and feel the breeze...

i no longer care...
if birds sing within them...
i no longer care...
if the rain makes them grow...

i no longer care...
if people laugh in the pleasant night...
i no longer care...
if they make the lights glow...

i no longer care...
if the world is round and stars above the trove...
i no longer care...
if they glisten and dance with one another in a show...

for you are lost...
from this world in a secret spot...
when my blue eyes open...
and right beside me sees you not...

i am lost in this world...
certainly my heart breaks...
and i miss you a lot...

for my love is gone...
my heart, my soul, my energy...
and 'm not what I should be...
'm just a griever singing...
your loss in the elegy...

never does it feel any right now...
never does it feel so glee...
the world is the same...
but to you, my love...
i always want to flee..

and remains of you...
is the love that remains the same...
and with craving in my tears...
engraved is the name...

but waiting so i am...
to die, and reach your realm...
but in HIS hand's are we...
just the pawn...
so, wait that i do...
to meet you again...
but for now, you are gone...
you are gone…
@manauwer
May 2014 · 437
Touch Your Hand
Manauwer Raza May 2014
saw you from a distance...
saw you from the space...
something about the look in your eyes...
something about your beautiful face...

in a sea of people...
there is only you...
i never knew what it was all about...
but certainly i think i now do...

try to reach out to you...
and touch your hand...
reach out as far...
as i can...

only me, only you...
and the sand...
try to reach out to you...
and touch your hand...

can't let the love to stop...
can't let the feeling bargain...
cause when i do it...
'm never going to see you again...
May 2014 · 433
She Is That In To You
Manauwer Raza May 2014
Well, I was kind of thinking about THE WOMAN again and suddenly it hit my mind that what if, she admires you secretly, she loves you but you never understand her enigma and she will never says so…
what if SHE IS THAT INTO YOU….

she has already begun to like you
the likes of which you can’t get through…
for she can fake it and then just hide
a false gleam of appearance with an elusive pride…
only except she is not ready to say so
for her ways are treacherous, she let them flow…
and its just a prelude to a secret love
a hidden unending feeling of treasured trove…
and then she uses the weapon of devastation
eyes laden with shine and burning sensation…
making even the most powerful men defenseless
men who just laments for and become helpless…
Their beauty is something which makes battles aught
even a great hero will fall to lapses in the distraught…
for when THE WOMAN throws her smile at you
you must understand SHE IS THAT INTO YOU…
@manauwer
May 2014 · 297
The Path
Manauwer Raza May 2014
Walking depressed somewhere
In the grim of night
When the lights were gone
And the hopes were quiet.

With sensibility of mind
Taunting cold and numb
The feeling of creeping strength
Which was awfully dumb.

In the darkness so profound
And the stones thronging in the way
There was every chance to fear
For the goal was far far away.

Then coming through some wood ahead
A glowing candle with flickering wick
Showing me a path to follow
Even though the late fog was thick.

The shifting of the breeze
And the gleam of the golden azure haze
Tempting my buoyant nature
And calming me for the waiting bright days.
@manauwer
May 2014 · 317
The Moon And Me
Manauwer Raza May 2014
I was talking to the moon
Just this very night
Telling him how much
I admired its light

And then without warning
Much to my dismay
The moon got all teary-eyed
And asked me to look away

It said I had no idea
How lonely it gets up there
Watching lovers all over the world
Every night of the year

But it quickly recovered
And apologized in shame
I told him I understood
Loneliness was my middle name

We exchanged our stories
Long into the night
Then the clouds brooded up
And the moon dimmed its light

But I knew we'd meet again
We share an emptiness
And we both hide it well
Under the cover of darkness

Now we meet each night
The moon and I
It seems happier now
From when I first saw it cry

When I look at the sky
It's the first thing I see
And when it looks down '
I know its looking at me

And so it goes
Night after night
I give it my company
And it gives me its light
@manauwer
May 2014 · 309
The Missing Piece
Manauwer Raza May 2014
You do what you're suppose to do,
With no frown or fuss...
Not because you want to,
But because you must...


Day after day,
It’s like a routine...
Don’t have too much to say,
You only do the right thing...  


Soon you feel empty,
But you don't know what it could be...
You want no sympathy...


But it's something you can't see
Everything used to make sense,
But now you're lost in a maze...
You feel so tense,
And you pray for better days...


Something just doesn't seem right...
You look for an answer that's not there...
You stay awake all night...


But you feel like no one cares...
It's right in your face
And you think its safe,
Or should you forget?


Things don't seem the same,
But what should you do?
You think you should change,
But change for who?


Understanding means nothing to you now...
Your heart is pronounced deceased...
This should you allow,
Or find what is this missing piece?
@manauwer
May 2014 · 291
The Man In The Mirror
Manauwer Raza May 2014
I see nobody by my side,
a certain urge of plunge ignited beside…
But with my soul left all alone,
I find no one correcting me when ‘m wrong…
It’s human to err and to learn,
through one’s rise and his fall…
But eventually I see myself staring,
entirely broken in the mirror on the wall…
And hear the voices that echo deep,
through inhuman brute yield that creep…
The loathly sound persistent every night and day,
with gruesome hate THE MAN IN THE MIRROR say…
“look at me, when ‘m talking to you,
perhaps I see you’re looking through…
That gleam in your eyes that has now fade,
not enough to make yourself persuade…”
I find myself see blood in his eyes,
and the unending solitude in the skies…
I see the pain healing when I pray,
now & then when I crave for redemption each day…
The cruel intentions, when I see ‘m not satisfied,
the chores, the day dreaming which has now died…
All of the measures, desperately off the scales,
making me believe that I see myself, and nobody else…
I see the guilt beneath the shame,
standing still, with eyes laden on the mirror pane…
Sears of grief stricken life that remains,
and the truth in my lies seem so insane…
@manauwer
May 2014 · 273
The Language Of Time
Manauwer Raza May 2014
i don't know what to feel
everything in the room looks gloomy
all the words fell from my mouth
like petals of iris unfolding
but not as pretty...

how to be now
what to say and do
i've never felt this way
and never want to again...

so if it all comes back
am i to just say yes?
like nothing ever happened?
who does that...???

the demise from the past
always haunts the bruised mind,
occasionally maybe even swaying decisions
and views to avoid a repeat
of the last time...

can't act as if, not one fiber was attached
to itself
i can’t be cordial
i can’t be civil
i want what i wanted
but it doesn’t happen that way...

'm still burning
and the thorns pierce
through my chest
something on the inside
is bleeding...

i can't translate this language
the language i have yearned
kept that quiet for that very long
but words,
they don't wait
do they...

is this my language...???

@manauwer
May 2014 · 599
The Girl I Call Sis
Manauwer Raza May 2014
The girl I call sis
Is someone who is there…
The girl I call sis
Is someone who always cares…

The girl I call sis
Can make me smile when times are blue…
The girl I call sis
Is someone very true…

The girl I call sis
By choice, is my best of friend…
The girl I call sis
Will be there till the end…

The girl I call sis
Is the blessing from God above…
The girl I call sis
Is the sister that I'll always love…
May 2014 · 333
The Eyes
Manauwer Raza May 2014
She glanced at me,
I stared at her,
I looked in her eyes,
She ignored my sight

She looked back again,
My eyes weren't there,
She stared at me,
I didn't look at her

I felt I had missed her lovely stare,
So made my mind to keep staring at her,
I continued to gaze her lovely eyes,
She made an attempt to ignore my gazing eyes.

A contact of the eyes was so hard to come by,
The eyes kept playing the game of spies,
We both understood what we were searching for,
Still we didn't get what we were looking for.

The hide n seek was about to end,
the eyes became stable again,
the impatient eyes were calm now,
they made a vow to have a look now.

Suddenly there was a change in the scene,
a selfish obstacle had come in between,
it blocked a pretty viewing,
and the lovely eyes were no more there to be seen.

A smile is what I just was looking for,
her eyes is what my eyes kept searching for.

It started so well,
it ended so sad,
But one thing I still look for
the best time I ever had !!!
@manauwer
May 2014 · 311
The Class Scholar
Manauwer Raza May 2014
Sitting on the last bench of the class…
Adjusting the mirrors of my glass…
Stretching my arms out and loosening the tie…
Straightening my back as I lie…
I looked from the pane and out the window…
Here she comes with her charm and aglow…
A very white shirt and a blue beautiful skirt…
With flaxen hairs curled and color of dirt…
I felt the sensation and my heart start throb…
Seeing a beauty like her who won’t give up a job…
I faked my pen down and rolled up to her desk…
Then sank my head down and looked at her leg…
She bent down slowly and picked up my pen…
I forged a quick grin and stared back then…
She knew what I intended and blurted out stupid…
I though wasn’t stalking acted very timid…
She threw the pen back and her face showed anger…
It was fury but she became more pretty and lovelier…
I hooked up my tie knot and cleaned up my throat…
And at that very moment she started writing a note…
By the time she wrote I leaned back and had a look…
Her body was beautiful and I fantasized her with a book…
Her fingers were slender and her hands smeared ink…
But those delicate beauty had a nail polish of pink…
I started day dreaming and thought her to be there…
Just beside me with hands in hands in the open air…
Sitting with hands folded and she resting her head…
We both remain quiet neither one who cares to have said…
Without hesitating again I said in my coarse voice…
“I LOVE YOU, I LOVE YOU”, I did say twice…
She blinked her eyes and adjusted her curl…
I saw her smiling and then she hurl…
She threw the paper and asked me to read…
I did it as boldly as it was a bravery deed…
Reading the paper it was then I realize…
It was why that sly smile was in her eye…
Friends circled me and asked what did just happen…
How was I to say it was a complete dead end…
The paper she threw was not to my expectation…
All my body did was movements of sheer frustration…
I sat back my desk and drooped down my collars…
Making my tie back to the first button and looked like SCHOLAR…
Friends did read the paper and started their laugh…
What was written in it was not expected even half…
I thought I would propose and patch up with her…
But it was the thing that now I really fear…
She just wrote down in the paper below…
What if I could be her NEW CLASS BRO…???
@manauwer
May 2014 · 271
The Change That You Made
Manauwer Raza May 2014
I looked the other side of me
when I was lonely and everything around me…
Started scraping with the gust of wind
everything so serene and I was fearing within…
And as an Aphrodite you glanced and gave me a smile
ah, the grin so lovely I didn’t forget all this while…
It was your presence that made the passion through
the adherence of love that I felt thence true…
The feeling of triumph and the colors of a rainbow
with you by my side a new hope for the beginning to show…

You clenched my hands and cuddled with spree
and my buoyant spirit flourished as a novel tree…
The warmth of your love made it feel so cherish
giving the sprouting tree with love to nourish…
Your smile, your voice, your touch, your eyes
unending hour of delight and eternal moments of surprise...
I owed you my faith and its sparkling glory
for I could then say I had a new story…
Now, when you're gone and dwell in the stars
I have all your memories etched with scars...
Thank you my love to help lose my vanity
make a person out of me and drew me happy...
For when I now look the new side of me
in the years of your absence, just everything around me...
Have the inscriptions of your love in the air
always close to me every time, everywhere...
With you in me and the coolness of breeze
I am so full of you and praying the time to freeze…
@manauwer
May 2014 · 827
Stories Untold
Manauwer Raza May 2014
let me be,
let me lie,
strip me bare,
watch me cry…
pull me open,
scars unfold,
a thousand stories,
yet untold…
a hundred sermons,
just for you,
some are old,
but some are new…
read them all,
then judge me through,
a condemning verdict,
all that is true…
cuts all deep,
and blood sprout,
with empty voices,
which never sought…
no words ever said,
nothing ever blurted out,
leaving no space,
for a single doubt…
determine my strength,
define my class,
put up boundaries,
isolate them fast…
I’ll cry,
and I’ll yell,
but with pain engrossed,
I won’t tell…
then stitch my body,
as in whole,
close in the stories,
yet UNTOLD…
May 2014 · 477
She Is That In To You
Manauwer Raza May 2014
she has already begun to like you
the likes of which you can’t get through…
for she can fake it and then just hide
a false gleam of appearance with an elusive pride…

only except she is not ready to say so
for her ways are treacherous, she let them flow…
and its just a prelude to a secret love
a hidden unending feeling of treasured trove…

and then she uses the weapon of devastation
eyes laden with shine and burning sensation…
making even the most powerful men defenseless
men who just laments for and become helpless…

their beauty is something which makes battles aught
even a great hero will fall to lapses in the distraught…
for when THE WOMAN throws her smile at you
you must understand SHE IS THAT INTO YOU…
@manauwer
May 2014 · 330
Search
Manauwer Raza May 2014
Whispering sounds sing to me
This lullaby given to me…
To hush my noisy heart and soul
Lost in a world of truth and sere…

Vertigo makes no sound
Where am I? Where is me?
Lost I’m sure, hidden,
‘m constantly searching for thee…

Never to find the hidden soul
The one that mine yearns everyday for…
Shiver I must for ‘m so cold
Lonely and frozen in this desert too sore…
Lost and forgotten I travel each day
Searching for that very path…
The one which went astray
Leading to the never-ending wrath…

Eyes grow weary
Scanning every face…
For a glimpse of happiness
Lost with no trace…
Manauwer Raza May 2014
another night the inevitable prolongs
another day just another dawn…
for all that remains of her memory, i see
her eyes is all that makes me think of thee...

often in the memory of my mind
have not i seen the eyes of her kind..
the way they do appeal to me
i think to spare everything on thee...

the tempt of her eyes' closed beauty
fills my heart with an utter modesty…
like petals of rose which lay numb
it takes my emotions dead and dumb...

the gleam of those sightseeing pearls, sieging all
which can make a man of mirth, creep and fall…
the power so sensual, arising from the thong
that none, but none would stand to it so bold, so strong...

those eyes contain an amazing fay
a lovely pearl of a perfect ray…
certainly, they belong to a lovely fairy
whom i owe all my life and glory...

my only wish is to drop by and drown
in the depth of her eyes, which are dazzling and brown…
only if, i get a chance to stare it close
my God, i know, i will certainly repose...

those invincible eyes do not belong to a lady ordinary
but to her, i delete not from memory…
she is the one, very dearest to me
of whom, i always want to be...

often in the memory of my mind
have not I seen the eyes of her kind…
@manauwer
May 2014 · 295
Nothing Is Ever As Perfect
Manauwer Raza May 2014
Let me tell you a story,
A psalm from the past that I sung,
This over period turned to elegy,
And took everything that I once dreamed.

I lose my love for her and then,
It is her, who is lost,
And then it is both who are lost,
And nothing is ever as perfect as I want it to be.

In a very ordinary world of existence,
A most extraordinary pain mingles with the small routines,
The loss seems huge and yet,
Nothing can be pinned down or fully explained.

I am afraid,
If I found the meaning of life again,
It would scald my hands,
Rip the skin from the nerves,
And leave me broken with a shattered heart.

I lose my love for her and then,
It is her, who is lost,
I try not to hurt and yet,
Everything I touch become a wound,
I try to mend what cannot be mended,
I try, neither foolish nor clumsy,
To rescue what cannot be rescued.

I failed,
And now she is elsewhere,
And my nights feel insecure,
I pray saving the smiles left on others,
Try to make them feel alive,
But its mine, the lips that are utterly drained.

How easy it would be,
If love could be brought back to me,
As in like, a hand wrapped with hugs,
Or just rained down on me,
Like the drizzles of the shower,
Or gathered in like nectar,
How lovely it would be,
But nothing is ever as perfect as you want it to be.
@manauwer
May 2014 · 400
Nightmare
Manauwer Raza May 2014
Often while sleeping people fear the dark. They go into a sudden commotion whenever they hear some noise. Unexpected, though it is true to believe, that NIGHTMARE are and they still perceive…
So, I gave few words to the same feelings that people feel to this poem of mine…

I LIE IN MY BED AND THE WORLD ASLEEP
PEOPLE AT REST AND DREAMING DEEP
SHADOWS FLICKERING ACROSS MY WALL
WHILE CREAKING FOOTSTEPS COME DOWN THE HALL
THE WIND HOWLING IN THE TREES
MY POUNDING HEART BEGINS TO FREEZE
THE OPENING CLOSET LETS OUT A MOAN
A SOUND THAT CHILLS ME TO A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN
THE BARKING DOG AND A GRUNTING SWINE
A CHILL OF FEAR GOING DOWN MY SPINE
THE WORKED IS DARK TONIGHT MY FRIEND
ITS ALL ABOUT NIGHTMARES THAT WILL NEVER END…
@manauwer
May 2014 · 424
Never Yours
Manauwer Raza May 2014
It's not about forgetting her,
Or hating her,
Ignoring her,
It's not about not wanting her...

It's not about being rude,
To her or about her,
It's about finding to accept,
That she's not yours...

It's not about the lying,
The crying,
The betrayal,
It's not about your little broken soul...

It's not about how many girls,
You go through to get over her,
Or how it "doesn't matter" 'cause,
They're "just not her"...

It's about accepting that,
It's always going to hurt,
She's never coming back,
And being okay with that...

You learn to be okay with,
Feeling breathless when she talks,
Even though you know,
You've no right to say so...

You learn to be okay with,
Her not sparing a second glance,
Because that way she cannot tell,
How your heart is pounding fast...

You learn to be okay with,
Wanting but not getting,
And hating every soul,
That she allows touching her...

It's not about not wanting her,
Or your broken little soul,
It's all about accepting that,
She's never going to be yours...

@manauwer
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