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Manauwer Raza Jul 2014
day after day I fight a battle
to hold inside what I feel
strangling, to fight my chances
and cry while in prayers I kneel

its not easy when I smile and talk
while inside I am all hurt and cold
without human warmth or emotion
still walking and facing things bold

years of loneliness
and words stricken with lies
I keep saying to myself holding back
the tears in my eyes

is there anyone out there?
to reach out to me
give me a little of their happiness
and give me a hope to see

I don't need or ask for much
someone who would stand there worth
just a gentle hand on my shoulder
and a care really wouldn't hurt

there is nothing but all truth
in my lies that I say
but not that I am actually lying
this is the truth I deny in some way

'm just tired of crying myself
to sleep at night
then waking up with emptiness
and tears in my eyes
Manauwer Raza May 2014
Living still in a boys dream
Where I am so young and free
Get so close to you as I must
Touch you in an instance and then flee

Then catch around the rainbow
And do it just for you
Embellish you with its colors and its beauty
On the days you're feeling blue

And when you need a place to find serenity
A place to be quiet and just be alone
I would build you a high safe mountain
And you would call it your very own

And in you, into your heart I'll beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul, sweet you will be my crush
Lost in you I will be so lost for you without a word
Then look in to your eyes and when they meet mine I'll blush

And in this dream will I take all your troubles
And let them leave you to toss them in the sea
But all these things I'm alleging are impossible for me
For I am just a boy and just a boy will I always be

So you must know I cannot build you the mountain,
And bring about the colors or catch a rainbow fair
But can promise you that I'll be what I know best
To end with you and be a man who's always there

In a boys dream I've always gone overboard
Then I'm begging you to forgive me always
In my haste when I'm holding you girl so close to me
I feel it a sense of victory to let you give it the walkaways
this is my dream, for when i find someone in my life...
Manauwer Raza Aug 2014
i know, what it feels like...
but not sure, if you feel it too...
knowing you were somewhere very close...
but yet so away, i couldn't get through...

a moment of happiness wondering if...
we're destined to walk together...
yet, we never did, not in the stars...
not in the moonlit sky, not in the cold weather...

just to see you smile and spend a few solitary moments with you...
walking hand in hand, strolling, keeping you close to me, thats what i wanted...
But nay, this bubble, was just made of expressions...
emotions, feelings, sensations, all but was wrongly chanted...

to feel my butterfly fly, was all i ever wanted...
to rest on her breath as she would pass by me and just linger smile clad...
But the teddy bear hugs were all but a myth, a moment never to come true...
a dream, a boy's dream i never had :'(
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
I will watch you in the darkness...
Show you love will see you through...
When the bad dreams wake you crying...
I'll show you all love can do...
All love can do...
I will watch through the night...
Hold you in my arms...
Give you dreams where love will be...
I will watch through the dark...
Till the morning comes...
All the light I'll take you through the night to see...
A light showing us all love can be...
I will guard you with my bright wings...
Stay till your heart learns to see...
All love can be...
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
Just want someone to sing to
Someone to write about...
Someone to cling to
Someone I can't live without...
Someone to hold to
Someone who will hold me back...
Someone I can show
All the love I have...
Just want someone to walk with
At midnight on the breach...
Someone to empathize with
When I'm helpless, tired and weak...
Someone to trust with
Someone who will trust me back...
Someone who knows
All the love I have...
Just want someone to talk to
When life just isn't fair...
Someone who'll be there
When less is what I could care...
Someone who'll make
My darkness shave...
Someone who'll say I do
And say its all the love I have...
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
Alone with my thoughts
Alone in my dreams
Alone in the night
Alone with my screams
Alone in that place
Between sleep and awake
I lay here alone
And wait for the daybreak
Alone in my room
Alone in my bed
But ‘m not alone in my heart
Where the tears for you are shed
For your love will always be in my heart
And your sensation near
Rest at peace wherever you are
For we will sure meet not today but in years
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
and when it rained...
I felt you,
close enough me...
to make me comfort,
from the warmth of your love...

and when it rained,
I felt you,
deep within me...
to make me live,
with the best of dreams...

And when it rained,
i felt you,
cuddling my buoyant nature,
and caressing it,
with the magic of your smile...

and when it rained,
i felt you,
right beside me,
every time, everywhere,
all the very while...
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
A new friend, I have found in her
In her, I did confide...
And it was from her eyes
Which I tried so hard to hide...

To me, she seemed so special
Almost too good to be true...
And when I told myself
I admitted that all my senses knew...

I knew that she was special,
I knew just how I'd feel...
I knew I wished to talk her
And I wished my pain would heal...

That simple wish came so true
It became unprecedented reality...
But, since she was so special
What could she have ever seen in me?

She started such a beautiful serene
And in friends I tried to write her name...
Whether she meant to or not
She was in her efforts healing all the pain...

All the pain that I had felt
Over these past two year...
Began to disappear slowly,
Simply because she was near...

When she was near I couldn't help
But have a smile on my face...
To me this was all new,
She took me to a special place...

A place where I was happy
I haven't been that for a while...
So I spread my empty happiness
And let through an embarrassed smile...

So, to my spirits I speak and say
If I wish to return to that special place...
I just figured that now I know
That you my friend, I've to chase...
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
now see, once again I write to you
the sun wasn't shining and the sky wasn't blue...

I met you on the route and feel you shrug
carelessly I handshake where I had to hug...

and walked beside you till you were fine
and all this time, the happiness was all mine...

and the next I did was to sit where you sit
what do you know, intentionally I came close a bit...

and all I did was to sit beside you and think
with you in my head, only about you without a blink...

the day passed and the evening yearn
from all that happened I wish I could learn...

that life isn't always what you desire
it leaves you lost in flames of fire...

you see your day and see it through
knowing what I am writing is all so true...

you ignore the meaning of all of this
thinking I am being childish...

but it is you who wished that way
I’ll grow a ten years late, that’s what you'd say...

I’ve tried to ignore I’ve tried to forget
but all I see is the first time we met...

I don't know why this happened to me
may be its a dream, so pinch me and see...

then when I said, the difference in imagination and reality
you wished I make it real, do what was right in all its vanity...

and I put my arms around you and feel
you made it so easy I needed not to kneel...

you picked me fine and we ended up holding hands
the warmth I felt was beyond all stands...

you rubbed them for me thinking it were numb
I was so happy and I knew you'd do so if I kept dumb...

the journey neared its end in a closing chapter
I wasn't ready leaving you and now I wonder...

all I want is for you to reflect on
whether I lie or is this for fun...

hopefully you will find the answer in no
that for me this isn't a show...

I never will forget the moments we had
after leaving you I really was sad...
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza Apr 2019
It's so hard to tell, what all am I going through
The rain has drenched me wet,  my eyes are all blue
My lips smiles soft, as in not to give my truth away
But the emptiness creep in,  the hole in my heart's doorway
It's all in a mess, my mind isn't the same
There are terrible facade of happiness, all of which is sham
The counsel of whats, ifs and all the buts
The uneasy feeling that gnaw me from inside, always in my guts
As if something is broken all from the inside, a knife that carves
Pieces by pieces it's falling apart, in shards and plenty of halves
I am my own saviour, my own hero as long as I go
There are no good mornings, no good byes, no hello
Unable to share myself to anyone, this burden gets heavy more than it should
But, even if I do, it won't make any sense, as you all fight your demons, you should
And again, its all momentarily, where I learn to fly above all these with wings
Around the silver lining, above the clouds of hope, but coming down is the hardest thing
It's getting tougher and tougher each passing day
And yet, somehow, I am supposed to feel, it didn't happen yesterday
Manauwer Raza Jan 2015
she is an ordinary girl
in an ordinary world
and she can't seem to get away...

like a child left behind
lacking the courage in her mind
she just don't let herself sway...

feeling depressed and all alone again
like someone strangled and drenched in pain
wiping the tears from her eyes...

looking at the mirror all by herself
and counting on the window turf
but no one who cares for her cries...

she is an ordinary girl
in an ordinary world
and she can't seem to get away...

with the glimpse of a blink
to the heart that did sink
she cries till today...

and wait for the return
of the one that had shun
her please and her sacrifice...

but she has her clue
and her feelings are true
that her heart did pay the price...
Manauwer Raza May 2014
she is an ordinary girl
in an ordinary world
and she can't seem to get away...

like a child left behind
lacking the courage in her mind
she just don't let herself sway...

feeling depressed and all alone again
like someone strangled and drenched in pain
wiping the tears from her eyes...

looking at the mirror all by herself
and counting on the window turf
but no one who cares for her cries...

she is an ordinary girl
in an ordinary world
and she can't seem to get away...

with the glimpse of a blink
to the heart that did sink
she cries till today...

and wait for the return
of the one that had shun
her please and her sacrifice...

but she has her clue
and her feelings are true
that soon someone will pay a price...
Manauwer Raza Apr 2015
and everyone who sees her, wants her...
to be with her, to feel her...
to cherish her, to love her...
and if not the least, a part of her...
yes, everyone who sees her, wants her...

undoubtedly, she is gifted...
gifted with the best, that words can't explain...
simplicity, beauteous, angelic,
everything, that makes her beautiful...
those eyes, those smiles, the way she shies, everything...

and i am no different, i want her too...
but this want is different,
there is no lust, in it...
its just a simple wish, to be with...
with a friend, because, she is,
a friend, a good one, i had...

and time and passed again...
someday when it will all fade...
the wish, the wants, would die,
but i will still hold it together...
for she, will still be my friend,
i promised, i would never forget...
@manauwer
a friend of mine had his story shared and  i came up with this one...
Manauwer Raza May 2014
Are you the one,
Who will bring me love?

Will you hold me close and blow my mind?
I'll make it easy for you to find,
Just place your palm into my face,
Then do your best to get into my head...

Let's be closer than we thought we could be,
Let's open our eyes and begin to see,
Each other as we want, not as society wants us to be,
Let me show them how much you mean to me...

Caress my tears and mop up my heart,
Show me you need me and hold me in your arms,
Close to your *****, resting on your charms,
A perfect pillow, to rest my head covered in arms...

Pick me up, my brain is in pieces,
Show me you feel the same as me,
Show me that I can feel the same to be
Show me you can't go on without me...

Lift me off this cold, hard floor,
Raise me up and hold me close,
Give me a shoulder to cry upon,
Give me a kiss or maybe a hug,
Give me back a feeling of fun...

And maybe then we could fall in love...
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
What you mean to me,
Is more than I can express…
You see, I had no sister when I was little
To call when I was in distress...

When we first met,
I had no clue…
What was getting ready to happen,
Was not completely out of the blue...

God had a plan,
Through out all the years…
He was making us for each other,
To share life's smiles and tears…

I never could have imagined,
What a sister's love was about…
Until I met you,
And then I really found out…

A sister's love is unconditional,
It's a love that has no end…
A sister's love wants the best for each other,
It's a love that will always defend…

Sometimes we may get mad,
Or we may begin to fight…
But that's the fun part about having a sister,
We both my think we're always right…

I'm so glad that I did not have,
A sister in the past…
It's made me much more thankful,
For the sister I have at last...
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
Never was a thread
so bold and so strong
to let the truth behold
of what is right and wrong

A thread proof of her love and affection
a thread of purest heart to heart connection
it’s a memento of love and of treasure
it is the best of life and reverberation

Of everything beyond this bond is bilk
cause it’s not just a thread of silk

A redeem satisfaction
of having you as the one
a sis, I have which you are
a relationship that has begun

I vow to protect
and love you like the toy
and everything but satisfaction
which yield every joy

'm grateful and 'm overwhelmed
for the caress you shower
a delightful feeling when you're close
the fragrance, the blossoms of the blooming flower

For you're and yes you're the best thing
that ever happened to me
I promise, we'll stay and flourish
as the best friends we'll always be

For you're my sister, my friend and my Ilk
so mind it it’s not just a thread of silk
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
When you know you are aloof and alone
And no one is there to give you strife
Tears are the only pearls by your side
And you don’t have a hand to wipe.

You look for a familiar stiff shoulder
But you could find it nowhere
Neither one who counts for this then
And your life has done the steer.

Those are times when even your shadow
Leaves your side and disappear in the dark
You feel you’re in despair and lost all hope
And even some happiness doesn’t give you spark.

Just because at times we are
Not with them we crave for
And we always mourn for their return
For its all our heart enamor.
Manauwer Raza Jul 2015
people see what's in front of them
but, not all see the same...
all I know is when I see her face
sometimes I can't remember my name...

I find it hard not to stare at her
sweet smile and eyes beautifully true...
I could look at her all day
she once told me that sometimes I do...

the physical part of her beauty
the half you see is one part...
the other half is the greatest
that is the beauty within her heart...

the fascination she gives, without question
is the best gift she could ever bestow...
covered in divine, all white and blue
she's the most beautiful woman I know...

even if she doesn't agree with it
to me, she is wonderful and giving...
and I know deep in my heart
she is the one seraphic angel living...
*@manauwer
Manauwer Raza Sep 2016
pulverized,
when they need someone to rely on...
someone to talk to,
someone to share thoughts upon...

they turn to me,
for i always be...
in the dark and in hopelessness
i stand there, and they see...

but, enough already...
for my feet are sore and the shoulders heave...
and helping others, i have lost me, time and beyond
i remain, still without peace...
Manauwer Raza May 2014
as fragile as a butterfly wing
as swiftly blown away
my memories take flight at times
sail to some distant bay

yet, now and then they gently light
within my broken head
and with a dust-covered fluttering
they bring me peace, instead

sweet memories and sense of joy
and sorrow or of unhappiness
of all thoughts and colorful wisdom
flutter my butterfly in oneness

and in a moment they're here
and the next, then they're gone again
so if my mind seems so far away
while yours is focused on me, its all in vain

don't make it a moment that spoils your whole day
let it go, set your butterflies free and howl
for I remember Love, Passion and Relish
and it may feed and fuel my breached soul

I feel it in a smiling face, not to lie, in you
a hand in mine sweetness, showing me the way
a caring word, a warm embrace, a touch of happiness
these are the memories of each new day

and even if that memory, should simply flutter by
I'll catch it, maybe, later, talk to it and say
when it comes by you my Butterfly
I so much miss you, and I don't want you to go away

Love has many faces, Love is many things
I am not asking you to keep me as beloved as your love
but help me find the beautiful wings, make me alive
find me the colors of life, the gloss of my throve

and when you see me crying, my butterfly
why don't you come to me, hide me in your wings
say me in my eyes, you are not alone and wipe my tears
hold me close to you and whisper many a things

but instead, you fly away and see me lament
you know, I am not alright, I am so lost in my shell
I always have so much to speak in grief
and you have so many honest things to tell

I wonder my butterfly, if you feel the same
to hold you, caress you and make you feel ease
let you out in the world, help you see the flowers
collect the nectars and with breeze run with the bees
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza Aug 2014
Standing sober there
Surrounded by drunken cheer
I wonder, coincidence?
You smiling there
In your simple beautiful ways
And your simply-done hair
Staring back at me
Smile, soft and loose
Resting there so naturally
Resisting the urge to look away
As you come in close
Holding nervous breath
In a nervous throat
Waiting to hear your voice
'YOU'
I would love to...
And tell me love,
That 'm not dreaming...
Manauwer Raza May 2014
There’s nothing certain but death
All in the world that is exactly set
We are born and live to die
Death the only gift of life
We fret, make noise shout and cry
We skid hills to valley and back try
Get torn among home, work and friends
Looking for loose folds and ends
There’s nothing certain but death
All in the world that is exactly set
We fight we grin we spurn we scream
We ****** the dagger until we bleed
All to achieve and amass
As lonely as the highland grass
We are born and live to die
Death the only gift of life
Walk we straight with pride
Look we people in the eye
Seldom do we stop and stoop
But with shoulders draped and hanged droop
There’s nothing certain but death
All in the world that is exactly set

We make friends yet sly
Break hearts and water eyes
Too proud to bend or mend
Lots of commotion set to apprehend
We are born and live to die
Death the only gift of life
Each death promise another
A whole new story to bother
Our life breath and gives froth novel life
To another birth to die again and strife
There’s nothing certain but death
All in the world that is exactly set
Never can we live past in life
In death we reach the very start
From dust we come to dust we return
There’s nothing certain but death
Death the only gift of life                                                          
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza Feb 2015
amidst who you are
and who you could be
amidst how it is
and how it should be...

there is a pursuit
and some stories to tell
of shaking hopes
and spaces where you fell...

there isn't a place
where you'd escape and hide
everything pressing against
and the walls on all your side...

you are bleak
cold bruised and sore
but you have to try
try lift yourself up off the floor...

and forget all those
what you feel, what you say
stand up straight to face
it never happened yesterday...
its hard to make one understand, the choices he made in the past, and the suffering it brings, yet, we hold against it, making oneself belief, that he can be better than that...
Manauwer Raza Jul 2015
oh! Schmetterling,

der Schmetterling Seele...

oh! ! der süßer Duft...

komm zu mir, wenn,

nicht im Sinne...

und gießen Sie mich..

der Nektar der Liebe...
my first attempt in writing in German... :)
Manauwer Raza Apr 2015
am i allowed
to make a face
am i allowed
to change
'm just going to lie down for a bit
it's all i need to stay sane
don't ask me
if 'm alright
well 'm fine
in my mind
don't ask me
to tell you
how 'm feeling
there's no reason

am i allowed
to make your day
am i allowed
to say
that all i need is a little space
all i need is a break
don't ask me
if 'm alright
well 'm fine
in my mind
don't ask me
to tell you
how 'm feeling
there's no reason

and all i really wanna do
is wait for the rain
all i really wanna do
is sit here and pray
and all i really want from you
is to understand
but you can't understand
don't ask me
if 'm alright
well 'm fine
in my mind
don't ask me
to tell you
how 'm feeling
there's no reason
Manauwer Raza May 2014
You were the one I was trying to know throughout these years
together sharing each other’s dreams, the hopes and the fears…
You were the precious one that could have only come from above
the more that I know you now the more I ask, was this God’s sign of love…

Grand feelings never gone from my heart and not far from my mind
in this journey a path awaits me, apart and I must find…
To my joy I heard that lovely voice and saw your lovely face
I don’t feel a moment has passed since I left that beautiful place…

That feeling of peace and warmth when you were near, truly seconds to none
the one that I knew and the one who knew me, you were the one…
The days were fun when my heart beat fast at the mention of your name
oh! That part of my life, something different, but now our paths are not the same…

The fate again would never bring us together once more
and my heart has changed with feelings, I have not felt before…
I close my eyes and see that perfection in your smile
your presence, your smile, a love not felt in a long while…

Our hearts were forever entwined; the truth has always been there
the love, the heat, the passion as we became one without care…
My heart was yours and I happily gave it to you, without blame
but once again from apart, our paths are now not the same…

I carry you silently in my soul and our love strong and true
no one before has possessed my heart such as you…
All since which has passed in the radiance of your eyes
and I promise, none other will have my heart no matter how she tries…

I pray for that wonderful day when our time finally arrives
our day to dance, our day to love, and our day to truly share our lives…
Our heart would join as one, a union that will sure eternity last
to meet, a day to declare to all our silence a thing of the past…

To proclaim daily this tribute of love that shall end never…
You are my best friend, the love of my life now, then and forever…
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza Jun 2014
just be here, my sweetness
don't let me go off you
for the angels can wait for a moment
and they all know how all it was true

as you come real close
and make me forget the world pry
let me feel this time we're alone
and it's finally you and I

it wasn't meant to feel like this
not unless without you

cause when I look at my life
I couldn't imagine it without getting blue
and how the pieces fall into place
it just wouldn't rhyme without you

walking along with you when I see how my path
seem to end up before your face
a hand tied to mine all this time
why didn't it happen in the very first place

the state of my heart
the place where we are
apart yet near, being a part of you
so close but yet so far

so don't be afraid
I'll and 'm right by your side
through all the laughter and all pain
together we're bound to fly

I wasn't meant to love like this
not unless without you

I made it so very late
and I am sorry, sometimes I do
been through a lot of heartache
but I made it and finally found you
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
Thank you for being
Such a friend to me
Oh I pray a friend for life
And have I ever told you
How much you mean to me
Oh you are everything to me
I'm thinking all the time
How to tell you what I feel
I'm contemplating phrases
I'm gazing on eternity
I am floating in serenity
And I am so lost for words
And I am so overwhelmed
Please don't go just yet
Can we stay a moment please
We can dance together
We can dance forever
Under your stars tonight
And then you can fly
To the stars you dream of
Close your eyes, but don't dream too deep
And please pass me some memories
And when I feel you're underneath
A touch of your hands
Would make the sky alive
And with you I’ll fly
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
We are all human
And apparently equal still
We were not meant
To cause violence or start evil…

But here we are today
Standing all alone
And it’s because we hadn’t the courage
To fight off the stick and stone…

Why couldn’t it is
Like the films we see
Where the hero never gets killed
Never does he…

It’s because we are designed
To make such mistakes
Every time stumbling
When we want something is at stake…

Why can’t we be just
And all be sane
Try not to deceive
And cause so much pain…

Is the world real
And designed to break
Or is this a dream
And we all need a good shake…

It doesn’t matter here
Cause either way
Disaster will find
A way to strike someday…

So why not step up
Why be a coward
Why to think this may be
The last and final hour…

The demons in our head
Taking away our sight
Preventing us from walking
To stand against the fight…

Cause when you look at
The person beside you
You assume they are
Thinking what you want to do…

But they stay where they are
And not take a single step
Not choosing to risk their lives
And pray to heal instead…

Can’t you see that they are also afraid
Now everyone is exchanging glances
And wondering
Who is willing to be the hero today...
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
Identity is not what I promise others
Identity is what I do when I am alone...
Identity is what I think of others
Knowing all the savor they've shown...
Identity is what every wound reminds me
Identity is what I learn and what I pass by...
Identity is what I see in the mirror
It is what make me feel try...

Identity is what I make out of my given chance
Identity is what I accept and what I deny...
No one else has control over me
Life is about me, and what I identify...
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
I dreamed a dream of You

Yesterday I dreamed a dream,
that had no end.
You in your white gown, and long, black hair flowing.
You were calling my name.
I heard you, but I couldn't reach you!

And when I say your soul was tainted.
You went out in the night life.
You dressed in your black, evening ball gown.
You danced till the Red Sun came out, over the horizon.

You smiled at me.
A flame in my heart burned red hot!
My knees and hands shook with nerves;
Nerves of love and joy.
I blew you a kiss,
but you turned away!
Oh, please don't turn away from me,
for I would die, if it happened again!

Your beautiful and golden heart showed me the truth.
The truth that every gentleman wants to hear.
I've seen you walk the streets,
in the blue dawn of August.
As I followed you, you stopped and looked at me.
You smiled so beautifully, and my heart fluttered into oblivion!

You walked with your friends and I went my way.
I couldn't find a single trace of you that day.
I cried out "Why did I leave her like this?!"
I looked for you, all over the courtyards and town squares!
Yet no sight of your beauty…
No sight of your golden heart, that I hold so dear to mine.
Where did you go?
Why did you leave?
Why did I leave... that is the question!

I should have stayed by your side,
till the ends of time.

Yet I had left.
Why...?

One gloomy and parish midnight.
I came along a road,
and soon found myself in front of a wayward cafe.
Smiling faces all around me.
I spotted a beautiful face that outstood all the other faces around me.
It was yours.

Your face brought me to sanity and I went over too you!
You spotted me and tried to run!
I caught you in the ***** hallway and pulled you in.

Our eyes met and I fell in love once again.
Sanity re-entered my mind, body and soul.
I kissed you and you kissed back.
You held my hand, and we left the cafe and walked down the street.

The street was gloomy, yet we together brightened the dark street.
We went back to the lit up city streets, of the lands filled with smiling faces,
and we fell in love and slept together.

You lay there in my restless arms and I gave you a sweet kiss,
upon your sweet and soft head.
Your dark hair was sweet smelling and felt of silk.
I closed my eyes and fell asleep with you,
there in my arms and we dreamed together
till the morning came and woke me up,
and took you away from my weak and weary arms.

I dreamed a dream of you.

@manauwer
Manauwer Raza Nov 2014
Have you have wondered
If, how, when and where,
You would ever find true love
And find someone who cared?

Sometimes it takes a lifetime
And sometimes you never do,
But special things take a while
If they're really true.

It didn't take a lifetime,
But pain, hurt and strife
And now that I found you
I know it was all worth the time

Do you love me unconditionally ?
So real and so true ? (NO)
So now I have to wonder,
How did l live without you?

You bring me joy and happiness
In everything you do
And I just want to thank you
And send all my Love to you
Manauwer Raza May 2014
I have heard people grumble
“I wish I had a sister so humble”

With whom I could share everything
My shoes, my clothes and my earning

A sister who would  help me during my projects
A sister whom I would always need for consent

A sister who could fight with me endlessly
Yet who would help me selflessly

A sister with whom I would share all my thoughts
Without thinking I should tell her or not

A sister who would help sharing my chores
A sister who would sometimes act too stubborn

A sister whom I would boss over
A sister who would understand my every fear

A sister who would want me to shop
And when I tease her she begin to hop

Love you dear sister for always being there
I promise for you I'll always be there
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
To my loving angel this is all
That I can say
Every day I think of you
Every day I pray
I pray that you are well
I pray that you are okay
I wish you were here
I miss you every day
I never knew you my loving angel
You left so long ago
Your death is the saddest
But I will always love you so
I know that you are fine
I know that you are well
You always will live in my heart
You will never be apart
I love you my lovely angel
If heaven wasn’t so far
I’d hold you in my arms
And shear you with my love
To my loving angel this is all
That I can say
I love you as I do
I miss you everyday…
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
close your heart
and feel the mirth...

a life of sigh
a prisoner of birth...

with you always
in my mind...

where is that feeling
forgetting your kind...

'm not begging you
to love me...

'm not really asking
for this to be...

but to cherish that hope
isn't it alright...

the hope in my heart
blazing so bright...

living a life
just in dreams...

flawless love
filled with screams...

dreaming about
just holding your hand...

with you all the time
wherever you stand...

the feeling of impugn
that will for sure hurt me...

but the truth in my eyes
that you'll always see...

try keeping my eyes
from shining when they see you...

those glittering waters
when my feelings are true...

and I promise, not to smile special
when you say hello...

but will kneel to you
with all soulfulness below...

but please don't ever ask me
not to love you...

for you are just so perfect
and 'm so incomplete without you...
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
i witnessed her
before the wind
and felt her
with the grassws
on her kness
disappearing
into the mystics

i believe
i see myself cry
look at the sea
and into the sky
as she just
stupefy
into the mystic

and when the
rain pours down
i want to
come in home
and when the
pain bring on
i want to
heal within

i don't want to
bear it now
wake back in
the slumbers
when she go away
hiding herself
into the mystic

wilting flowers
withering leaves
dew on the silk
with floating breeze
ah! why she always
have to vanish
into the mystic
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
As my emotions run wild...
All I can think of is you...
You are always on my mind...
Whether it be rain or sunshine...
All I can think of is you...
Your laughter...
Your jokes...
Your sensitivity...
Your understanding...
All I can think of is you...
You are compassionate and endearing...
Polite and caring...
Yet mysteriously distancing...
All I can think of is you...
When I'm with you, my heart races...
As I think of something clever to say...
My breathing rapidly increases...
When you sneak a glance my way...
So all I can think of is you...
Yet at these thoughts, my heart cries in pain...
Because I love you, but you don’t feel the same...
I imagine us together, falling in love...
But I become depressed...
Feeling as though I'm plummeting from above...
So again you rescue me as only you can...
I wish you could know...
That this burden on my shoulders...
Has nowhere to go...
I'm carrying the weight of the world above me...
I can't tell you how I feel...
Though my love is real...
Because you don't love me...
I'm preoccupied worrying...
Whether it's worth it, I am worth it...
To get my emotions churning...
Only to realize I'm not perfect...
But in the end...
All I can think of is you...
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza Dec 2016
comfort in shade and shadows
trust in all lies that follows
like fools believing
of truth that never been told
and hope for the better tomorrow
and I for one, am the liar

throw up in the stairs
stained with the spoils of time
some broken words
and wishful scream, echoes
death, doesn't takes you afar
and I for one, am the liar

sleepless nights, turning sour
silence to tears, tears to cries
denial of the days passed by
will be there always, end of time and
consumed by sudden loss
and I for one, am the liar

reasons none, and a cheating love
not your fault but mine
your heart being on the line
expecting accepting from where it came
but body and not your soul
and I for one, am the liar

its empty in words and makes less sense
valleys of fears and harvest left behind
becoming something that you never were
finding strength in all the pain
its just me or is it my name
and I for one, am the liar
an abstract form of write.. describing life and its aspects from my point of view... saying, its all, but a lie...
it makes no sense, with understanding and figuring out what life really is...
and in the end, its me who is a liar, believing in it...
Manauwer Raza May 2014
I THINK YOU JUST KNOW IT
WHEN I AM OF MY OWN
I THINK YOU JUST KNOW IT
WHEN THINGS ARE GOING DOWN
I THINK YOU JUST KNOW IT
WHEN THERE ARE NO FACTS
I THINK YOU JUST KNOW IT
WHEN THERE’S NOTHING LEFT TO ACT
I THINK YOU JUST KNOW WHATS
ALL I AM CRYING FOR
I THINK YOU JUST KNOW WHATS
ALL I AM DYING FOR
ITS ALL WHAT MAKES ME THINK ABOUT YOU
I THINK IT’S THE FEELING
OF LOVING SOMEONE EVER
I THINK IT’S THE MEANING
MY LIFE HAS TURNED HERE
I THINK IT’S THE REASON
WHY I STII DREAM
I THINK ITS ILLUSION
THAT MAKES ME SCREAM
I THINK IT’S ALL WHAT
MAKES MY HOPES END
I THINK IT’S ALL WHAT
MAKES MY CRAVING BEGIN
ITS ALL WHAT MAKES ME CRY ABOUT YOU
I THINK IT’S THE DECISION
WHEN I DON’T MAKE THINGS RIGHT
I THINK IT’S THE RELATION
THAT MAKES THE INFERN FIGHT
LEST IT BE SOME CONDITION
WHEN I AM ALWAYS DEPRIVED
NOW IT’S REALLY THE TENSION
THAT MAKES ME ANNOYOED
I THINK YOU ALWAYS GET
TO MY NERVES
AND ITS WHY I FEEL
TO GET ERNEST
ITS ALL WHAT MAKES ME HATE ABOUT YOU
I THINK YOU JUST KNOW ME
I AM THE GUY WITH THE SAME SENSE
I THINK YOU JUST KNOW ME
I AM THE ONE WHO WAS AT THE END
I TINK YOU JUST KNOW ME
THE ONE WAITING FOR YOU
I THINK YOU JUST KNOW ME
I AM THE ONE CRAVING FOR YOU
I THINK YOU ALWAYS
KNEW WHO I WERE
I THINK YOU ALWAYS
KNEW I WAS THERE
ITS ALL WHAT MAKES ME LOVE ABOUT YOU
@MANAUWER
Manauwer Raza May 2014
just a word...
for when thy feelings detest...
when the heart flies...
to a place unknown...
to a life un-tread...

journey...
just a haste...
to find my soul...
a perfect place to sleep...
to find my flesh the water...
and food to eat...

journey...
just in case...
my shadow disappears...
in the walk of time...
when I feel myself lost...
in the hours of turmoil...

journey...
just to wait...
for some strangers to meet...
who bequest my life…
with a hope to love…
and a meaning to live…
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza Feb 2019
Little one, little one
The sky is falling
Your lifeboat of dreams
Is now sailing
In the wake all the way
No rhyme or reason
Your gloomy eyes
Shows your heart rains a rainy season

Little girl, little girl
Why are you sighing?
Inside your restless soul
Your heart is really crying

So, Runaway
From the river to the shore
And find yourself within
You're the reflection of your hopes
There is always places you can go
You only get to live it all, only once

@manauwer raza
Manauwer Raza May 2014
Loose sheet is a part of me,
of what I think, what I feel...
its the journey of me,
of how I walk, how I kneel...
its the remembrance of past,
and the reminiscence of grief...
its the time 'm searching for me,
lost and draped in the fallen leaf...
'm broken and 'm lost,
the loose sheets are them which bind me sure...
and for the rest of me is just a body,
and 'm therein complete impure...
soiled with tears of pain stricken love,
a glimpse of words never dared to be told...
and waiting for the time to speak for itself,
loose sheets that carve of nothing but truth that hold...
so cut me open, see my heart,
you will see the legitimacy and the signs apart...
yes, it is all of me and me in pages
and this is all but a form of an art...
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
few pages of life, that remained unturned...
belonging to a diary, which was never burnt...

the pages of the diary, which was almost banal...
and with the passage of time, it was left to curl...

words created in past, that is now unclear...
reminiscence of someone, who was then very dear...

few illegible words, which was for someone certain...
but with the sands of time, has been engraved in sultry curtain...

the face of the deity whom, is sure etched in my mind...
but just can't recognize, the shape of her kind...

the pain irresistible, which was en-kindled within...
for it is hard to bear, her loss from my heart therein...

beholding my feelings, which have now turned stagnant...
wish i could ever find out, who that someone was i meant...
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
Love is a miracle,
as sweet as it can be…
That has always tempered many minds,
and will always remain a complete mystery…
For though it is a something,
that is worth centuries old…
Thriving in the core of heart,
that can’t be purchased for either silver or gold…
But instead must be given,
of one’s own free will…
And received with no promises,
but love that it must fulfill…
And once its exchanged,
in this time honored way…
there’s nothing love can’t,
or manage to say…
No problems too great,
and no problems too small…
For love like miracle,
conquer them all…
And leaves in their place
such a feeling called peace…
that dwell just like love,
can’t help but increase…
@manauwer
Me
Manauwer Raza May 2014
Me
I want to be brought back on earth
I want to feel alive
But inside ‘m feeling like
All I want to do is die

Trying to claw my way
Back into life
So why is it for so many years
I've never found what is right

So much is so wrong and
It can’t ever change
I don't want to live this life
Feeling just the same

Filled with nothing but hate
Running through my veins
I have had nothing but sadness
And so much pain

I want it all to stop and
For me to be free
But how can I when I know that
What is missing is, well me…
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
It was hard to tell you the truth I hid
But now I’ll not regret that I ever did…


There's nothing wrong that I won't hide or say
I’m glad I get to see you from day to day...


It would hurt to have to see you alone
Now the feelings for me you have shown…


I’ll never leave your side when you are down
Because I never want to have to see you frown...


I'm here for you whenever you are in need
Through life you made me want to proceed…


I just really want you to see
It’s with you I always want to be....
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
Every moment I think I'm closer to the heart
And it means to know, just who I am
I think I've finally found a better place to start
But where to begin is all I need to find
I need to try to get to where you are
Could it be, you're not that far?
You're the sight that turns my way
The reason that I even try
I need to find it,
I need to find you...

You're all that glimmering stars in the night
The glisten in my eyes that thrive
The hopes and happiness in me
The pride that makes all of me strive
I need to find it,
I need to find you...

You're all that relief, so hard to find
To find me through the labyrinth I see inside
Painting all my dreams the color of your smile
When I find you it will be alright
I need to try to get to where you are
Could it be, you're not that far?
You're the arms that keep me from falling
The reason that I still stand and walk
I need to find it,
I need to find you…

You're the morale of my life
The truth that I want not to deny
The present that is all I want now
The courage that will help me defy
I need to find it,
I need to find you…

I’ve been feeling lost, can't find the words to say
Spending all my time stuck in yesterday
But where you are is where I want to be
Just next to you and you next to me
Oh, I need to find it,
You're the voice I hear inside my head
The sound that keeps me telling
I need to find it,
I need to find you…

You're the missing piece I need
The part of my love that I yearn
The shroud that will hide me from fear
And help me guide through all the turn
So, I need to find it,
I need to find you…
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
It's not about forgetting her,
Or hating her,
Ignoring her,
It's not about not wanting her...

It's not about being rude,
To her or about her,
It's about finding to accept,
That she's not yours...

It's not about the lying,
The crying,
The betrayal,
It's not about your little broken soul...

It's not about how many girls,
You go through to get over her,
Or how it "doesn't matter" 'cause,
They're "just not her"...

It's about accepting that,
It's always going to hurt,
She's never coming back,
And being okay with that...

You learn to be okay with,
Feeling breathless when she talks,
Even though you know,
You've no right to say so...

You learn to be okay with,
Her not sparing a second glance,
Because that way she cannot tell,
How your heart is pounding fast...

You learn to be okay with,
Wanting but not getting,
And hating every soul,
That she allows touching her...

It's not about not wanting her,
Or your broken little soul,
It's all about accepting that,
She's never going to be yours...

@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
Often while sleeping people fear the dark. They go into a sudden commotion whenever they hear some noise. Unexpected, though it is true to believe, that NIGHTMARE are and they still perceive…
So, I gave few words to the same feelings that people feel to this poem of mine…

I LIE IN MY BED AND THE WORLD ASLEEP
PEOPLE AT REST AND DREAMING DEEP
SHADOWS FLICKERING ACROSS MY WALL
WHILE CREAKING FOOTSTEPS COME DOWN THE HALL
THE WIND HOWLING IN THE TREES
MY POUNDING HEART BEGINS TO FREEZE
THE OPENING CLOSET LETS OUT A MOAN
A SOUND THAT CHILLS ME TO A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN
THE BARKING DOG AND A GRUNTING SWINE
A CHILL OF FEAR GOING DOWN MY SPINE
THE WORKED IS DARK TONIGHT MY FRIEND
ITS ALL ABOUT NIGHTMARES THAT WILL NEVER END…
@manauwer
Manauwer Raza May 2014
Let me tell you a story,
A psalm from the past that I sung,
This over period turned to elegy,
And took everything that I once dreamed.

I lose my love for her and then,
It is her, who is lost,
And then it is both who are lost,
And nothing is ever as perfect as I want it to be.

In a very ordinary world of existence,
A most extraordinary pain mingles with the small routines,
The loss seems huge and yet,
Nothing can be pinned down or fully explained.

I am afraid,
If I found the meaning of life again,
It would scald my hands,
Rip the skin from the nerves,
And leave me broken with a shattered heart.

I lose my love for her and then,
It is her, who is lost,
I try not to hurt and yet,
Everything I touch become a wound,
I try to mend what cannot be mended,
I try, neither foolish nor clumsy,
To rescue what cannot be rescued.

I failed,
And now she is elsewhere,
And my nights feel insecure,
I pray saving the smiles left on others,
Try to make them feel alive,
But its mine, the lips that are utterly drained.

How easy it would be,
If love could be brought back to me,
As in like, a hand wrapped with hugs,
Or just rained down on me,
Like the drizzles of the shower,
Or gathered in like nectar,
How lovely it would be,
But nothing is ever as perfect as you want it to be.
@manauwer
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