When I say I love you more, I don't mean I love you more than you love me. I mean I love you more than the bad days ahead of us, I love you more than any fight we will ever have. I love you more than any obstacle that could come between us. I love you the most.

Is it strange? that
I don't miss you when
you are far away? but
miss when you sit close?
Is it the subdued fear of
being apart? or is it
the the tension of love?
A feeling that I can't
be without you?
Do you feel the same?
All the questions
I know the answers to,
Yet, am I right?
I don't know, except,

the fact, that we loved,
We gave ourselves us,
gifts that we didn't see
us giving to each other,
A part of memory, never
to be forgotten, Never
to be re liven ...

Love, the most intoxicating suffering I've ever known.

i.
your hands are too rough
for a boy with a heart
as soft as yours.

ii.
let your soul and spirit flow
from your eyes and from your lips
it's okay if someone notices.

iii.
you can learn what it feels like to fall
gentle and warm in the hands
of someone else. mine are always open.

iv.
you don't have to be scared of breaking open;
i will hold you so tight that all your broken pieces
will come back together again.

v.
the person you were before this
is still living in you, hiding behind your eyelids.
i'm sure he likes the view.

vi.
you are a hurricane.
you are the universe in full force.
you are loved and loved and loved.

passion wasn’t in your dictionary
even though
you tried to show me
time and time again
that it was

and thats fine
because at least you tried
to show me
the blank space
where passion
was supposed to be

They always ask me what I wanna do
Then they use the big words
"Future" and "happy", sometimes "passion".
Almost always in the same sentence.

What do I wanna do?
"Good question", I say.
Then my thoughts wander on
Mostly they go something like; I want to scream.

I want to scream my lungs out,
Scream until the air is gone,
My insides punctured,
and my breath is lost.

I know some people know partly what their answer is.
But I don't. How am I supposed to know
How am I supposed to have any idea what my future is going to look like
When my present, my today is so lost.

When I am so lost.

One day, I will no longer
be in the habit of checking
if your light is on from your window.
One day, my thoughts will be
in my own voice again.
One day I will no longer
miss you from the moment I wake up
to the moment I fall asleep.