I sat with my back to the mirror
I always avoid people I don’t know;
Strangers are a danger.
And the thick fog that buries itself
Underneath my skin, makes me
unrecognisable.

My memory is as weightless as my feelings,
Down the drainpipe they go, scattering across tiles.
And I’ve met up with misery and held its claws
And it left with me with scars instead of smiles.
I’m picking at loose threads, waiting for my mind to return;
Broken and damaged, its pieces sailing off track for miles.

It’s the art of falling apart, to be vulnerable,
Trailing behind the spraypainted signs of my mind,
Left stranded, shipwrecked and empty, lost and deserted;
Smoke fills the void and nothing’s important.
I’ve said hello to the embodiment of my nightmare,
I see it in the mirror and I ******* under its stare.
So raindrops, will you gather and set me free?
Because nothing’s inside anymore to let there be tears.

And I want to find my way back home,
But the twist of my insides is like a maze,
Crown of thorns for this crowded daze.
And I don’t want the outside to reflect
what’s on the inside,
it’s a scary place.

people are prone to telling me the same joke over and over again
though the only thing that i find funny is that i can't remember its punchline
maybe it's because i try so hard to forget
what i've become.

I don't want you, I say
as I stare longingly at my screen for
a message to appear with a certain name
that does things to me.

I don't want you, I say
as the tips of my fingers tingle
and my heart becomes a drum,
the soundtrack to your entrance,
to the live wire my body becomes.

I don't want you, I say
as I surpress a cry
when your watchable lips mutter a bye
and I feel empty without a presence
of something I can't get myself to say,
is a pleasance

I don't want you, no, not at all
Not only because I can't admit it
(Too proud and afraid to say another person makes me whole
That I become needy without control)
But because that it's not true
I don't want you -
I need you, and
Owning you is all I think
I'm able to do

It’s amusing to think how we use words everyday
Though it’s the unseen that says the most, the unsaid
That screams the loudest
The mouths of today focus on feeding upon reciting Facebook feeds,
The latest most liked tweet,
The filters for your selfies – the perfect painted veil for a background of a thousand shattered china plates,
Which you become the moment the day is done, the stitching of your smile
Sighing with relief, unraveling as only your diary fills with the truth from shaking wounded hands that once again tried to stop a plate from chipping,
Only your bedroom wall goes through its weekly routine of watching every tear fall.
And you see that same wall everywhere, blocking you from people,
Lowering the volumes of your pleads, you don’t want them to see you’re in need – you can’t.
The mask that blinds them has no opening for a mouth
You’ve become a clown, jokes automatic, juggling your struggling in one hand, the other
Straining around your new best friends’ claws: misery, isolation,
Emptiness overfilling, desperation for an exit sign over spilling
But silence is a killer, why let it continue killing?

Consider the conscience crowded with a clutter of crazies
Though tongues only dotted with declarations of sanity.
The way we communicate has become a prison cell with too many corners and no windows,
The sounds of our own cracked, empty voices bouncing back at us
The limit of 140 soulless, expressionless characters has shut us up and in,
The embodied pill of forgetfulness on how to pick the lock
And open up to get help, to admit a smile’s fake.
But has the rain of melancholy and judgment rooted our feet to its wet earth?
We, the raindrops, laughing, “get over it” with each pitter as we’re soaked
“She’s so emo” – that’s easy to say,
It’s not like we’re humans with these things I guess are called feelings.
It’s comments like these that stop us –
To understand the truth we have to seek for it, not hide it, shove it away because it’s too frightening to bare, to finally confront the hidden scars people wear
Sadness has become a much too common name, and yet no one can place its face – it’s that one post no one likes to share.
And I see a continuing suffocating aisle of different bedroom walls and want to break down each one.
Ignoring isn’t the solution, smiling is an illusion, so don’t mistake silence for pleasure when someone has become a victim of our weather.
We have to learn how to open up again, free what’s inside to unleash our true spoken minds
Hold a hand instead of a phone for a change, to make a change
And maybe you’ll also make a real sunny smile overcome the rain.

i hear your laugh over the phone and realise,
i can touch every syllable from a million light years away.
i can pluck each of your heartstrings that tie themselves up with mine across landscapes
and it'll be music neighbouring galaxies can hear.
we don't seem so far apart when we make the world shrink around us. we are our own world.
your arms are a boarder protecting us from the sea,
your lips taste of ocean stars and your breath is the breeze
you bring life to the flowers blooming around me.
our hands are the bridge to connect laced footsteps
entangled tree branches, entwined roads.
we are maps to each other, leading us back when we're lost.
you are not here in the morning beside me in bed
as you are in the sky. i can recognise your rising light miles away.
you tell me i am your only earth.
and i need you because the earth needs the sun
to see a bright day.
we are our own world
and that's all that needs to stay.

driftwood floating
amongst the sea of
fast asleep smiles
composing the ripples
of loving warmth
a lulling wafture
to the face of
reality
galaxy park awaits and
wakes
in my dream
and i arrive at
ease.