my     words
have
suddenly
transformed
                       .
                into   vapor

and im trying
my hardest to
remember how to breathe

  them back
into my dehydrated lungs
    so i
can understand
again
what it's like to really
   be       alive
         .

Maybe I'm a bit upset,
Sometimes I wish I could forget,
But my memories are holding me up
By thin threads,

That are breaking,
More and more,
Everytime I walk out the door.

I could be seeing red,
But I'm feeling blue,
Because most things I see just remind me of you.

Turning a blind eye to the dark clouds
Looming over the horizon
Lightning lashing across like whip
Loud crackle and the thunderous roar
Lightning strikes with archer’s precision
Hitting the target with a vengeance
Cauterizing life in a matter of seconds
Zeus, unleashing the thunderbolt
So much rage in the Ether
Punishing relentlessly with nature’s fury
Now the clouds break loose
Intense darkness shrouds over the day
Clouds have opened up with running streams
As it washes away all the agony
It opens the eyes to an invigorating event
Replenishing the parched Earth
Waterfalls and rivers flows with life
Nature calms after the ferocity, bringing hope

I dream to escape reality
The sadness and the pain
The hurt and the shame
I drift off to a universe of my subconscious creation
And I enjoy my life
My life above the clouds
Away from all the ******* of society

But it seems that my dreams and my reality have melted together
I can no longer tell the difference between the two
Though, I prefer the dream land
My inner desires always come about
No complicated, confusing feelings
I can manipulate this place
There are no limits
No consequences
And that's how I like it
Can I stay?

Trapped in a box
Walls closing in fast
Water lapping at your ankles
Air growing thin.
You punch the glass
Your hands crash into the walls
But nothing happens
No escape
She is standing
Watching as you panic
Enjoying every second of your agony.
You close your eyes
Focus
This is all a dream
This isn't really happening
You try one more time
You pound on the glass desperately
You kick and hit and throw your body into the walls.
A small crack
It's faint but you hear it
The water is almost at your shoulders
You hit the cracked area so hard
Over and over
Until the water sprays out
And the force of the water explodes the box
And you are carried by the river.
Freedom
It feels good to breathe
Your lungs are screaming
Begging.
One last gasp
You climb to your feet and run
You run down the hall
Not knowing where you are going.
The last thing you remember is his face
Oh his face
His eyes
They are like water
But the kind of water that swallows you
And cradles you
But throws you with the waves
Because you can handle it
Because you are strong
You are brave

Sitting
Staring at the night sky
Drinking straight from the bottle because my sorrows are impatient
Another night in
Lonely and dark
My mind wanders
Thoughts of the universe and the insignificance of my presence
One bottle down
I gaze inside hoping to find the answer
What next?
I reach for another bottle and pop it open
All I want now is to fade away
Drift off and pretend I'm happy
I drink
And I drink
And I drink
Until not one drop remains
All in my system
Just the way I like it
And I sink
I wash away and I drift
Into the real world

We were at a gay bar for the first time.
I was reminded of friendship,
while she looked for love.
I have a purse full of memories,
and she looked at her empty hands
in disappointment.
I pointed to show her
in them we made her story.
By pushing the door that spoke to her,
that she once ignored
in a fear she couldn't accept.
I thought of you and smiled in comfort.
The women here are so respectful.
And fun loving.
Singing 90s songs.
That is where her love may be.
And mine is home with you.
Because I've been thinking 'bout you
ooh na na na
I've been thinking 'bout you
I shared her cigarette,
and met a woman with a husband outside.
She is a frequent there-
I can't sing for ****.
But I heard some melodic voices.
I don't know many good karaoke singers.
I'd like to hear you up there.
Do they have Morrissey?
Lady called my name.
Center stage.
I'll think about you ooh na na na
and sing away.

I put a lighthouse in the window in hopes that you were coming home
But we don’t even share the same shoreline
These storms have never been good to me
And I made too many promises to keep my life in my own hands
I’m afraid these legs are far too weak to ever stand in a courtroom
And the angels lost interest in me a long time ago
All I can do is fend them off with broken wrists
I was never frail until I gave you everything I had
But now I’m tired of the guillotine smiles
And every embrace that feels like a noose
Waking up in a deathbed feels unnerving at first
I guess its better than shivering on the floor
The real horror comes later when you start to feel comfortable
*~W.C.

I have more used plastic baggies with remnants of **** left in them than I know what to do with

We’ve gone through so many

Maybe that’s why I can’t remember anything but you…

I like having them

I smell them when I miss you because they smell like you

Because they smell like us.

I have an extra lighter with me because you always forget yours

I light it when I miss you

I touch it when the flame dies just to feel the warmth on the tip of my thumb

It reminds me of how you get a little too close 

It reminds me of your warmth.

That lighter

I love the sound it makes when I grind the gears and press down swiftly

The click and the whoosh of the flame springing to life

It takes me to nights when fireworks and stars paint the sky

It takes me to our rock in our stream in our kingdom of trees and fresh water

It takes me to the sun gleaming in your eyes

It takes me to flower-flourished fields. 

The flame takes me with it as it dances

And I dance through my memories

Tracing my steps until I find each moment we have shared

I dance until my eyes slowly close

And then I dream of you 

I dream of you and wish you were here

But this is just a dream…

I wish we could dance forever.