I wish I wasn't
But I am

                      I wish you weren't
                      But you are

I wish we were
But we'll never be


                     It's not you
                     It's not me

I wish I'd stop wishing
for things that cannot be

There are a lot of things I'm uncertain of
And I never pretend to know
There are a lot of things that I'm scared of
But I never allow my fear to show

There are times when I want to break down
But who's going to lift me up?
There are times I want to confide in someone
But who is there to trust?

There are times when I want to love
However, I have no one to give my heart to
There are times I don't mind sharing my space
But I rarely follow through

There are times I'm confident in myself
There are times I'm insecure
I have times when I'm content with my life
But most of the time I'm craving for more

Right now I'm feeling that it's time I set all of my fears free
Right now I feel that it's time I truly embrace my destiny
It's time I leave my past behind and go after that more
It's time that I embrace my future, it's time that I explore

At times,
Cold departures leave
A stain of faith.
You're departure,
However hellish,
Remains immaculate,
Even as you turn
With a blizzard on your heel,
Kicking Winter in
My eye.

You replace him up there.
Not in piety but
In hierarchy,
Of the royal void breed.
I tailor the nails to your palm
And broken foot.
Drying like slaughterhouse
Meat on my clothesline.

I found our nature
Profoundly meaningless.
Was it transcendence?
Algor Mortis?
Or did my new eyes
Survive incubation?
I await the birth pangs
Of sight,
Callousing the whole,
From lid to lash.

All creation seems to cease
     we lie beside
With hearts like houses
     next-door neighbors
Hands like envelopes
     folded tight and sealed
Lips like long lost lovers
     blissful, close and warm
Love like a thousand red balloons
     high above the earth, ready to explode.

Sleepless nights
when I've
laid in
the thick darkness
listening to the
sirens scream
throughout
the city.

Drawn out sleepless
nights ,
nights that I spent
conjuring up
images of better
times.

Sleep deprived
lonely nights,
nights  I spent
counting
someone else's
legless sheep.

Nights I spent
wasting hours
by thinking of
nothing but
the past.

I love the way you’re feeling
on me, and everywhere
a winter cold frostbite
playing kisses
in my eyes
instead of this nothing.

I reason your name.

Its’ an argument
about beauty.

It’s silvery fists
of power.

It’s nowhere’s map
A blue page torn
from my fingers

I know you.