-
Please close the door
There is a bunch of dead bodies laying on the floor
Our brothers and sisters losing their lives too soon
Shaking the nation to its core
Got me questioning
Is this the peace we've been praying for??
-
Please close the door
For there are pictures on the wall
That I don't want to see no more
Memories I tried to ignore
Became part of the decor
And everytime I tear it down, it restores
-
Please close the door
This used to be my favourite room
But I don't enter it anymore
It reminds me of the person I was before
And that person is buried 6 feet beneath this floor
So please close the red door
-
Lowkie ®

-
I built walls so high
To keep the ones that hurt me outside
And ended up being alone on the inside
After a while I got used to being alone on this side
Afraid of hurting again so I hide
-
I pushed people away
So that they don't see the real me
Keeping all these feelings inside
Because I don't know who to trust
Eventually it started eating me up inside
And I felt empty inside
While smiling on the outside like everything is fine
-
I lived in my own little bubble
Minding my own, I didn't want trouble
But you noticed me
And the walls started to crumble
You wanted someone to talk to
So I lend you my ear
You said all the right words I needed to hear
And all I could do was mumble
-
Lowkie ®

-
U + Me equals to a mathematical problem
Solve for x but there's no answer at the bottom
Believe me I tried calculating the variables
But no matter what, the answer is still unattainable
Y you ask? Because this equation is unexplainable
-
Remember the X you told me not to worry about
Yeah the one you said left a mark
I know you still see him in the dark
He still is the flame in your life
And I guess that makes me just a spark
-
But I'm not perfect
There was a X I had to subtract
I told you I did just so you don't overreact
But as our arguments multiplies
Our attention to solve this problem divides
I am no mathematician but
The sum just don't add up and after so many tries
Maybe it's about time to say our final goodbyes
-
Lowkie ®

-
She has the legs of a model
The type that would make grown men cry
With the body of a goddess
She had no reason to be modest
She had the potential to anything
But she happened to my greatest weakness
-
Little did I know that prettiest ******* the block
Had a secret
On the outside she looked decent
Some might even say beautiful
But on the inside she was a little wicked
-
She had this look in her eyes
That would turn any wondering man's life around
Maybe it was lust, Maybe it was fear
Maybe I shouldn't have listened to the devil in my ear
-
But as I stared into her eyes
I was surprised I didn't go blind
Instead I started feeling cold
From my pinky toe all the way up to my nose
And that's when I realised who she really was
But it was too late because
My heart already turned into stone
-
Lowkie ®

-
Dear Mom
I'm writing you this letter
Hoping that you will never get to read it
Your son is growing up now
Did you know he is poet now
He wants to tell you
But he afraid it might be another thing
That you won't allow
-
Dear Dad
I want to say you're the reason
As to why I'm so sad
But I don't cause I don't want you to feel bad
Growing up without you wasn't really that hard
But maybe with you around
I could of went down a different path
-
There's more letters burning in the fire
I might have used one or two pages
To roll some joints to get higher
Daydreaming about better days
As the fire blaze
-
Lowkie ®

-
Someone asked me
"What was your life like before the depression?"
And without hesitation, I asked him
"Don't you have a better question?"
I could not give him a straight answer
-
For as long as I can remember
I had a imaginary companion
Living inside my head like he is a rent payer
He told me sweet stories
His favourite one was
"Nothing matters, Dying is way better"
-
He gave me advice
"Cut off your friends and family" he said
"Lock yourself up in your room" he said
"Starve yourself, nobody cares" he said
"Take this razor, be careful it's sharp.
Don't say I never got you anything nice"
He said while smiling from ear to ear
-
He called himself Depression
He invited himself into my house
Along with Anxiety his spouse
And ever since they moved in
Nothing was the same
-
Lowkie ®

-
She said she had a lot of baggage
Running from things she's been avoiding
Since a young age
I told her we were in the same boat
I'm also trying to stay afloat
-
Few days later I was her favourite
Late night calls and early texts
Those park dates were best
Surrounded by a crowd but it feel like
It was just the two of us
We would bearly notice the rest
-
I said with you I don't feel alone
And that my feelings for came like a cyclone
Maybe I came in too strong
But I felt weak after she said
I feel like that too
But we should keep it in the friendzone
-
Lowkie ®

-
It's 3am and I'm drowning
In a pool of my sorrow
I might end up saying things
I'll regret tomorrow
But who cares anyways
The time we're living on is borrowed
-
It's 3am and all I can think about is you
You were the last thing on my mind
To tell you the truth
But when the lights went off and the music stopped
As I'm tossing and turning
And the room keeps spinning
All I could see was you
-
Now I know this makes no sense
Since we both agreed that was our last dance
Forgive me for blowing up your phone
But in my defence
I had too much to drink with my phone in my hand
Scrolling through the pictures of the time we had
Replaying old memories in my head
-
Lowkie ®

Trapped in my mental cage
With no bars made from steel
Only scars that do not heal
With no celling
Only dreams that are too far to reach
-
Wake up from my sleep cause the nightmares keep haunting me
Falling asleep because these thoughts keep taunting me
-
People reaching out to save me but really I'm right where I need to be
So forget about me and you go be free
-
I'm trapped in a mental cage
Fighting back this burning rage
Pouring my heart out as you keep turning the page
-
Everyday I tell myself I will be okay
And the skeletons in my closet will be buried away
And it will be a brighter day
Until I wake up
And that dream fades away
-
Lowkie ®

I'm depressed but not suicidal
I'm depressed but not suicidal
I'm depressed but not suicidal
I'm depressed but not suicidal
Why do I say this?
-
I do hear voices in my head
Telling me that I should be dead
Telling me that life is not fair
Telling me that no one really cares
Like come on?
I've been hearing this for years
Am I suppose to be scared?
-
God has bigger plans
That's why I'm still here
That's why I still stand
Life is not fair
It's not fair to anybody
People think they got life figured out
But what happens behind closed doors
Is not my business to say
People do care (in their own human-ish way)
And even if they fake it, I'll be okay
-
I do hear voices in my head
They all starting to sound the same
Whenever I get a glimpse at happiness
They always have something to say
-
Don't let them get to you
They just want to break you down
Don't let them have that effect on you
-
Whenever I hear them
I know I'm doing something right
Something that these demons didn't like
So they come back looking for another fight
But that okay cause I've seen the light
They go silent once I've gathered all my might
After me writing this
And after you reading this
I hope we can both sleep peacefully tonight
-
Lowkie®

Think happy thoughts
Even when your head is racing
Everyday feels like another challenge that you're facing
Your life is disaster in the making
Because everything you touch ends up breaking
Think happy thoughts
-
Think happy thoughts
Through the pain you've felt
And you have this random breakdowns
Where you feel numb, dumb and just want to melt
When you're lost in the darkness looking for light
Think happy thoughts
-
Think happy thoughts
And not drug overdose
Or crying until your tears overflow
Dwelling on the pain means you'll never grow
Stop looking for love in a place where it was never shown
Think happy thoughts
-
Lowkie®

Lately I've been going through a phase
I got ninty-nine problems I'm not willing to face
Not because I don't want to
I just don't have the strength it takes
Everything I touch breaks
-
Well except for this pen and paper
And the words on this page
-
With every word I write down
The weight becomes lighter
The problems becomes lessor
And for a brief moment
Life becomes better
And I gain my strength again
-
For a brief moment I don't feel insane
And although life is a game I didn't choose
I still press continue and carry on playing
Facing my ninty-nine problems
With just a mere pen and paper
And these sonnets I'm creating
-
Lowkie®

Tick tock real talk
How do I get pass this mental block?
I know
I'll have some of this white rock
Crush it up like its white chalk
Up my nose you go
My brain you have to unlock
Pop a pill to get loose
I mean, why not?
-
Tick tock real talk
Where's there's smoke, there's fire
Or a couple of stoners getting higher
I wonder who’s their supplier
Maybe he got what I need
To satisfy my desire
-
Tick tock real talk
I can hardly walk
One shot
Two shots
Three shots
Four shots to many
I can hardly see the door
How did I end up on the floor?
I think I had enough
But there's this voice telling me
"You'll be okay, drink some more"
-
And that's when it hits me
I'm intoxicated to my core
Inside my head, its war
Control over my body
That's what we're fighting for
No more
I want all these substances gone
But it’s too late now
I'm already torn
-
Lowkie

Lost in my own reality
Cursed to live in this fake world,
Where models wear make-up
And man kind always afraid of something.
Where mistakes turn into regrets
And pain turn into hate.
No wonder everyone looks upset.
Where broken morals turn into bottles.
Oh how the game has changed.
-
Lost In My Own Reality.
Where women are referred to as "*******"
And concerned citizens are "snitches"
Is this the best we can do?
Huh, talk about "gifted".
Streets is funny out here,
Seeing a 12 year old crying
"What do I have to live for?"
While downing his sorrow with a bottle.
Is this how we live?
Huh, talk about "evolved".
-
Lost In My Own Reality.
What happened to the Transparency?
Or is that Transgender too?
What happened to Trust?
Because nowadays there's only Lust.
Everyone looking for a quick bust.
Forgetting that they're ruining someone's future fast.
What happened to commitment?
Lemme guess, it went suicidal too?
Seems like that's the best way to escape every problem.
But what you're actually doing is avoiding a trap to fall into another.
But I guess that's what happens when you're "psychotic"
Is this how we live?
Huh, talk about "matured".
-
Lost In My Own Reality.
I guess this is why some people prefer never to wake up.
-
Lowkie®

Lately I've been having some off days
Lately I've been feeling dazed
Physically I'm here
Mentally I'm in a different space
Walking around with a blank face
-
Socially awkward
I don't mix well in a crowded place
They ask me
"What's on your mind"
I tell them
"If I told you, you'd be left with a bitter taste"
Cause the truth is a hard pill to swallow
So, I keep it in a case, just in case
-
Leave me be
In my head space
It's my safe space
Although my depression and anxiety
Took up most of the space
I still think of you when I look at that blank space
-
Lowkie ®

I'm a poet, but not a conversationalist
All these thoughts going through my head
But really, I don't talk a lot
"Why you so quiet"
My tongue is caught in a knot
I'll probably turn into a different person
After another shot
-
I'm a thinker, not a speaker
If you want to get know me
You'll probably have to dig deeper
Analyzing my every response
Before finding a simple one
That might hopefully reach you
-
I'm a poet, I'm a thinker
I'm not a conversationalist, I'm not a speaker
If you approach me
I'll probably keep it brief
Maybe it's a blessing or maybe it's a curse
But if you want to get to know me
I'll have to let you into my conscious first
-
Lowkie©

I don't perform my own rhymes
Personally I feel I don't have much time
People tell me I'm good at poetry
Man I only do it to unwind
We all need a break sometime
-
After this then I'll be fine again
Until the voices come knocking on my door again
Roll some **** up and get high again
Pick up my pen and write my train of thoughts again
So much for an escape plan
-
I talk but no one is really listening
So I write these words down
Hoping you'll hear my voice as you're reading
Hoping you'll get a sense of how I'm feeling
-
This is just my way of dealing
Calm down, stop worrying
This is my way of healing
My thoughts haunt me at night as I look up to the ceiling
But my heart is at ease
Because I know God is seeing me
My soul is at peace
Because God is still blessing me
-
Lowkie©

Excuse me while I get this off my chest
You packed your bags and left
That was probably for the best
You probably moved on
And I probably can't be compared to the rest
I guess love isn't really love until you put it to the test
-
Today I had nothing better to do
But to sit here and think about you
Believe me it wasn't something I planned to do
It just happened out of the blue
And it got me wondering
Do you still think about me too
-
We both went our separate ways
But the memories still haunt me
About how close we were back in the days
Don't mind me because I'm just going through this phase
Where old memories start to replay
-
Lowkie®

Feels
-
Human emotions are not toys
To be played with.
Trying to fix a heart
That someone else broke.
Waking up at 3am to a text saying
-
"Baby I can't take it no more
I know I promised to be strong
But I don't want to be alive anymore.
You tried fixing my broken heart
And for that I will forever be grateful
But the memories still replay
And they are painful.
I'm sorry I'm as strong as you thought I'd be
You gave me hope
And that means a lot to me
But this is goodbye
I wish you find love in this cruel world."
-
With tears in my eyes
And fear in my heart
I rushed to her place
Hoping that this can't be how we depart
Every minute we were apart
I prayed that you don't follow what's in your heart
But you did
And I feel like it's my fault
-
I hope you saved a seat for me
On your chariot to heaven
I promised to always be by your side
Like Romeo and Juliet
This is the part where I die
-
Lowkie©

Me
-
In a world full of billions
There's only one me
To some I'm fake
To some I'm real
But really I'm just me
Now I don't mean to sound full of myself
But to some I might be a need
-
I don't make life about me
But my life does revolve around me
And since there's only one me
I'm in my own league
I'm unique
Just like you, her and him
-
Don't focus on your flows
Rather focus on your glow
Because looking up to people
Can make you feel low
And your more than that
You're what the world needs
-
Lowkie®

"I'm Okay"
-
Woke up today
With a smile on my face
Life was moving at a steady pace
And I was in my "happy" phase
"Today is going to be a beautiful day"
Until you came out to play
-
See I thought I was okay
And that I finally got you to obey
But I guess you were patiently waiting
To escape with your sneaky ways
You've always been good at that
You always seemed to get your way
-
Don't ask me how I'm doing
I'll just say "I'm okay"
When really I'm trapped in my own head
And I being tortured on most nights while going to bed
-
Don't ask me how I'm doing
I'll just say "I'm okay"
When really I don't want you to become sad
When I tell you that things upstairs are pretty bad
But that's okay
Because tomorrow I will wake up again
With a smile on my face
Hoping life moves in a steady pace
While I enter my "happy" phase
And carry on
On my Mary ways
-
Lowkie ®