I wonder if with time your heart can deteriorate?
If every time you cry yourself to sleep, a part of it breaks.
If when we lay at night staring at the ceiling wondering how it is we got in this horrible place,
If a piece of it simply falls off and evaporates?
If it falls into the crevices of our bones so soon we are no longer left with a heart
But with the left overs of what used to be one.
So we can no longer feel love but we have the particles of what it once consisted of,
Deep within us, never able to be felt or shown again.

My worst fear is that I will never be satisfied.
Nothing I do will ever be good enough, and not to the minds of everyone else, but that of my own.
I am scared I will never be happy with who I'm with because I'm not happy with myself.
When I'm alone, I'm at my best.
Unaffected by the world and secluded in my sanctuary of a room.
But should someone be alone for the rest of their life?
Is it healthy, will it drive me to insanity?
Always chasing something that I may never get.
Like I am, for the rest of my days, always chasing the rim of the sunset.
Maybe I should stay alone..
Maybe, just maybe..
I need to be solely on my own.

I've thought about ending it a few times.
Frankly that's all that's been on my mind.
Don't leave me alone with my thoughts.
I'm reckless and I might just give in and seal my own box.

I'm ready to walk this journey alone.
I've been ready since the day I met you. I knew I was doomed the second I fell for your smile and the moment you shook my hand..

Trying to find myself has caused me to lose everything I had.
I do not pity myself and wish for you to do the same.

What happens when temporary is no longer
When you feel weak without them
Yet somehow stronger
How do we feed the darkness of our pasts
Well i can tell you, easy,
With memories of us staring at ourselves through broken glass.
I can finally say I'm no longer afraid of you or who you'll be without me
Because I finally can see who you've been without
a shadow of doubt overcasting.
You are now who you've always been.
It's just now with some alcohol running rapid through my veins and some tears gathered in my eyes
From staring vaguely into my mind
It somehow all seems clear enough.
I'm no longer pinned.
Blindfolded by one's own fogginess.
A mist that overtook me a year too long to clear.
You are the same.
And no not that cliche ****, the same as every guy,
but you are the exact same reincarnation of my worst fear.
My fear of falling for someone who only had the interests of their own held dear.
Maybe this makes sense to you and maybe this doesn't
and you know what? That's a risk I'm willing to take.
I would rather let these words and phrases pour out of me like an unstoppable hurricane that might drown you,
Than to, for one second longer, let this hurricane continue to destroy me.. *Whatever is left of course.

I love you for how you inspire me.
How you ignite me
How you love me... But most of all for how you look at me,
With those wide beautiful eyes that are filled with so much hope and ambition for not only what we are but for everything you believe you and I can become.