Friend
She hears the quiet whisper of the man paying his respect to lost love
Wiping his eyes
And offering her heart to lend

Caring
Taking him in
Showing love not deserved
But love she was sharing

Weight
was lifted
Singing and dancing!
Sorrow was not his fate

Free
His spirit lifted
And all he can think is...
Thankful enough he can never be
             ...
Thank you

1. you may feel that your feelings are illogical.  you may feel stupid for even having them in the first place.  don’t.  you have every right to every feeling you are feeling.
2. getting the feelings to go away will be difficult.  the more you think about how you wish you didn’t have them, the longer you will.  it’s okay.  you’ll move on eventually.
3. you may have thought they were perfect, the only one for you.  that will fade.  soon you’ll find the real one who will be everything you thought they were and more.
4. breathe.
5. remember that in a few years, they’ll just be someone you used to know.
6. silently watching them with someone else will eat you up.  it will hurt more than anything.  you’ll feel alone and overdramatic for feeling so much for them.  in these times especially you need to do all you can to get them out of your mind.  i know it’s hard.  find an outlet; surround yourself with friends; indulge in reading or running or whatever you like to do.  focus on yourself and not them.
7. breathe.
8. breathe.
9. breathe.
10. you know deep inside that they are just a tiny corner of the big picture.  everything will be okay.  tell yourself that every day.

Hey,
I don't know your address.
I hope you never read this.
My therapist says that this is the way to get it all out of my head.
I was under the impression
that writing to someone
ended in burning the evidence.
That it was a kind of healing ritual.
Cleansed by the flames.
But no,
electronic almost-correspondence
appears to be the answer.
Here goes:


I got drunk today.
It seemed like the thing to do.

There was a couch,
it was grey.
Yeah, that one. The red wine stain
is still on the underside
of the cushion cover.

I prefer white.

I sat on the couch.
That's what they're for, couches,
so not much of a surprise, I guess.
But I don't know what to say,
I'm filling the void with
obvious facts.

I didn't even use a wine glass.
I filled a pink mug
full to the top.
Had to sip off the rim of it
so it didn't overflow as I carried it into the sitting room.
With the bottle of wine,
of course.

And I drank.

So I'm drunk now.
I keep laughing.
Of course, I'm not a happy drunk,
but everything is
wrong
anyway.
There's no one around to
tell me to shut up,
for one thing.

Not that I would mind
if there was.
It would fill the silence.

A silence punctuated with
pathetic little
giggles,
as I mentioned before.

I'm not sure what I'm laughing at.
Could be the man outside yelling at his car,
the alarm has been on for an hour now.
Maybe it's the fact
that you took the kettle with you,
and I haven't bought a new one.

I make tea in the microwave now.
Ridiculous.

I don't like you.
Not at all. I don't like the way
that you can't seem to
say anything of importance
and I don't like the way
that your absence
is like

it's like

being stabbed, but that's not enough I feel like I don't have the right to claim that kind of physical pain, I don't feel like I have the right to cry or even walk out my own front door for some reason, and for some reason I was not good enough for you even though neither of us tried our best because we thought we were enough but we weren't and I don't have the words to describe what you are to me, or what you were to me, only that grocery-store sushi used to be that pathetic thing you bought at past-eleven-pm-sometime and now I hate it so much that it's the only thing I can eat and I

I don't need you.

I don't. It's impossible for me to need you,
in the scientific, explainable
rational sense.

But explain it for me,
please.

I'm thinking of something
Of a smile
Of a kiss
Of a boy

I'm thinking of you
In all the best ways
You make me smile
More than I ever thought I would

And trust me
Your smile is
Cute and flirtatious too

I am in love
With every part
Of you