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Jan 2016 · 506
Today
scared Jan 2016
The pain of today has brought me to my knees.
Today is an anniversary of something that happened 2 years ago....
I disgraced my family.
I harmed myself.
I can't take it back either.
It's been haunting me since.
I got help but it didn't help me...
It gets worse but then it gets better.
Things have changed since then.
I've changed.
But not by much.
Even when things got to be too much I locked myself up...
I pushed people away.
I still do.
Nothing will change that...
Nov 2015 · 446
Anger
scared Nov 2015
Anger
Throws one punch.
I can't fight it.
Ducks from another punch.
Why can't I control it.
Throws two punches.
I hate this feeling.
I am going to break and lash out.
Punches a wall.
Can't things go back to normal?
Nov 2015 · 358
love
scared Nov 2015
Why must love be so different.
I love many things but..
staying in love and not getting hurt.
Thats the problem.
Every time I fall in love wtih a guy or gal..
I get hurt.
Oct 2015 · 1.1k
Scared.
scared Oct 2015
Why am I so scared?
When will I be able to be who I really am?
Will I ever be accepted into society?
Oct 2015 · 590
Siearra....
scared Oct 2015
Where have I gone?
Where is the real me?
Where is the little Siearra that doesn't care who laughs at her?
Why can't I be my old self again....
When can I stop caring?
Will I ever be the same?
No one should care about me...
This poem is personal to myself... My name is Siearra...
Oct 2015 · 285
But...
scared Oct 2015
What if we all were already dead?
What if we were sleeping in a fake reality that no one knows about?
Oct 2015 · 347
Why
scared Oct 2015
Why
Why does he not see that I'm in pain...
Can't he see that when he doesn't talk to me that it hurts..
Why does he do this?
I may be me but that doesn't mean he is hurting...
I try so hard but its not the best i can do i guess
Oct 2015 · 328
J.C.
scared Oct 2015
J.C. you make me feel like I'm the only person in the world when I'm with you.  You make me so happy that no one can take you from me.
Sep 2015 · 292
Mad
scared Sep 2015
Mad
Why do people get mad?
What people do shouldn't get to you because it's their choice.
Sep 2015 · 221
Young
scared Sep 2015
After all this life is young.
You may be old in your mind but you are young.
Sep 2015 · 444
Fuck
scared Sep 2015
**** I love him..
I don't want to lose him ever.
If I do lose him I don't know what I would do..
Sep 2015 · 422
Diary entry # 1
scared Sep 2015
Why do some people get mad at you for sleeping...
I don't understand..
I think I lost a friend...
I don't know what to do now...
I apologized a lot of times for sleeping...
Sorry I'm kind of venting.
Sep 2015 · 388
Throw
scared Sep 2015
The first punch has been thrown.
Right to the heart.
Second punch..
Right to the soul.
Third punch.
Right to the mind.
Always to the mind..
Always to the heart..
And always to the soul..
Why is it when they throw a punch they make it towards the heart?
Why is it that when they start something they never finish you off?
All it takes is one more punch.
One more and you're done for..
Sep 2015 · 232
Love
scared Sep 2015
I love him.
I don't want to hurt him.
I don't want to make him unhappy....
Sep 2015 · 364
So...
scared Sep 2015
So you want me to trust you.
You want me to love you.
So you want me.
You want my heart.
You have it then..
Sep 2015 · 1.8k
Dream
scared Sep 2015
Why does pain  hurt?
Why do you cry when you are sad or angry?
How can we do what we do?
This world our lives
Could it all be just a dream?
Sep 2015 · 839
happen
scared Sep 2015
Things happen for a reason..
Why can't things stay the same?
Why does change hurt so much?
Sep 2015 · 293
day
scared Sep 2015
day
This day has gone and past.
This day has been bad so far.
I am so over this day.
Why does it have to hurt?
Why do I have to be like this?
Why can't I just be happy?
Why can't I be myself?
Why???
Sep 2015 · 242
thinking of feeling
scared Sep 2015
When I think of you I think that you make me so happy and feel so safe.
I don't  understand why I do...
This feeling that I have right now  is different than what i have ever felt before.
You make me a better person
Sep 2015 · 352
Safe.......
scared Sep 2015
Save me from my dreams.
Save me from my demons.
Save me from the pain.

Keep me safe.
Keep me calm.
Keep me where I can sing.

Throw my my things.
Throw me my life.
Throw my mind away.

Keep my things in place.
Keep my life intact.
Keep my mind alive.

Always try to keep me alive.
Always try to keep me here.
Always try to keep me sane.
Sep 2015 · 404
Feelings
scared Sep 2015
So mad i want to cry.
So upset that i want to let loose.
So angry that i want to rage on everything in my way.
So lonely that i just want to end it all.

I feel like no one cares.
Like everyone just looks right through me.
No one knows how much pain i'm in.
No one sees anything that is happening to me.

Everyone thinks that things will get better.
Alot of people just dont care.
Most just don't think that it's right.
Everyone is just faking one thing or another.

I know that everything will come to an end.
I know that anything can stop and start again.
Everything can be just a dream.
Everything can be in your head.
Kinda how i feel right now. Sorry about this its kind of a rant.
Sep 2015 · 257
Diary. 9/1/2015
scared Sep 2015
In school. Watching all the faces go by one by one.
Just watching them smile and laugh.
I just keep walking, listening  to my music.
Not giving one care in the world.
No one sees the pain I'm in.
No one seems to care.
Every day goes by one day at a time.
Everything is going by so slow.
Nothing is really happening.
Everyone is making fun of me for the way i dress and express myself.
No one will really know me.
No one really cares to know me.
Everyone justs walks by knowing something is wrong but never asks anything.
Sep 2015 · 879
Why??
scared Sep 2015
Please tell me why you do this to me.
Tell me why you played me.
Please tell me...
You told me that you loved me.
You said forever.
Why did you lie to me about this....
Why did you do this to me to make my heart break..
I hate this feeling.
I feel betrayed..
I don't know what to do
I don't think i can trust you now..
I know that you weren't happy now.
I know that you did not care.
I now know that you and your friends are not to be trusted
Thank you for showing the real you
Thank you for breaking my heart.
Thank you for making me hate you.
Thanks Jordan for breaking my heart...
Aug 2015 · 292
player.
scared Aug 2015
Why do you have to play me?
you know that i feel more for you than you think.
you just dont understand
I dont want to be "just friends"
it makes me so mad when all he wants is *** and *** only.
he just wants my body not my time or love.
uhg. he ****** me off majorly sorry this is sort of a rant.
Aug 2015 · 294
farther
scared Aug 2015
falling into a world so deep
going down so far.
farther than you've been before
going into the farthest place ever.
Aug 2015 · 390
Swinging.
scared Aug 2015
Swinging at the ball.
Swinging and missing the ball.
Throwing as hard as you can.
Just to win the game.
Following the ball with your eyes.
Thinking that it is worth it.
Just failing the people and they way they think of you.
Throwing all of the people and ruining the whole concept.
Ruining the way people see you and the game.
Jul 2015 · 3.0k
baseball
scared Jul 2015
The ***** back in play.
The crowd is cheering.
You're under pressure.
You freeze.…………



The pitch is thrown.
You swing and miss.
Strike one.
The ball is thrown....
You let it go.
Strike two.
People in the stands yelling and screaming.
The pitch is thrown.
You swing and you hit it.
Home run.


The first homerun of your life.
The more mistakes you make the more you learn and get better at it.
Jul 2015 · 455
birthday suprise
scared Jul 2015
Aren't birthdays supposed to be happy?
Aren't birthdays supposed to be spent with friends and family?


My friends don't even know...
My best friend said goodbye last night..

Goodbye....
I will love you and miss you forever perrin... you will always be my best friend………
Jun 2015 · 359
Confused
scared Jun 2015
Two men one heart
Which one....
Jun 2015 · 350
Bring.
scared Jun 2015
Bringing it all back to life.
Bringing it all back down.
Falling apart bringing it up.
Saying your okay with it when bringing up another.
May 2015 · 382
change
scared May 2015
Throwing together my world.
Taking it back apart.
Keeping it hidden from everyone.

Throwing the world away.
Starting over again recreating it.
Recreating my whole life.

Freeing myself from within.
Freeing myself from my soul.
Changing my outlook on everything.

Changing my life for the best.
Changing my appearance and thoughts.
Keeping my life open to anything new.
May 2015 · 574
faith
scared May 2015
Falling in love is the easiest thing to do but staying faithful and staying true to that person is the hardest of all...
May 2015 · 730
Untitled
scared May 2015
I want to tell him
I want him to know.
He is something to me.
He is my best friend.
Apr 2015 · 765
done
scared Apr 2015
Im done with all the haters.
Im done with all the pain.
Im done being broke.
Im done giving everything away.

I am sticking to myself.
I am staying to my word.
I am staying from guys that will hurt me.
I am finally done..
God I hate love and haters.
Apr 2015 · 446
days
scared Apr 2015
Two days in a row
Falling in the snow.

Two days in a row
Throwing everything away.

Three days in a row
Crying inside.

Three days in a row
Failing the world.

Three times one too many
Three times to late.
All gone by the time you wake.
The person you are
The person you was.
Everything in a blink of an eye
Is........... gone.
Apr 2015 · 722
??
scared Apr 2015
??
I love him...
Do you think he knows?
I've told him many times before.
I've tried to show him.
I've tried to help.
I've done everything I can to keep him safe.
I'm having trouble.
He's always been there for me.
Feb 2015 · 1.9k
Something
scared Feb 2015
My mind is on fire.
My heart in pieces.
Everything missing.
Nothing fitting together completely.
My soul is shattering.
My sanity is changing.
Feb 2015 · 4.5k
pain
scared Feb 2015
Bleh.
All this I feel is pain.
All I want to do is ****.
This pain turns to anger.
Anger which then turns to hate.
All back to the beginning.
A continuous cycle.
Never stopping

— The End —