you asked me where i wanted to go,
but all i said was i don't know.
you handed me a map,
but i laid it on my lap.
i rested my head on the window
and watched the passing show of
tree
after
tree
after
tree.
i took solace in the one thing
i knew i had-
myself.
it might not have been enough
but it was the most that i had.
so i held it tight in my chest
and braced myself for the road
set before us.

I know it's just a number,
Something made up of ones, twos, and threes.
It isn't a label,
But I feel as if I've lost the stamp of approval.
I'm way up here
But I want to be way down
there.
After all
The less one is
The more he is viewed.
& sometimes it doesn't hurt to be seen.

Humans are by nature
unappeasable  no matter their behavior.
As a conformist
We threaten outsiders,
Yet long to be our own person.
And individuality is no better,
We long for acceptance of
The group we once called home.
That is the nature of humans,
We viscously treat
those that are not like us.
Its no wonder so few are happy
with such constant inner confliction.
Because the human mind is
a kingdom ruled by two fears,
Fear of the unknown,
And Fear of rejection.

You left me a bruise
the kind you don't realize you have until long after the incident.
A purple tinged skin of a mistake
from pushing too hard and too far
searching for love,
love that would never come.
I cried and begged you for you to want me,
you said you did,
but I saw those messages to her,
and the other girls.
You lied.
You never wanted me.
You only wanted ***
when I wouldn't give it to you
you left.
Left me hanging
from a noose
choking for life.
I screamed for you to come back
I would have given you my all
I was too late.
I realized it
and so did my wrists
as a blade met them
blood ran down my hands
as I left blood soaked fingerprints
on letters
you would never see.

I've shredded those letters now
its been over two years
since I promised I would **** myself if you didn't love me.
I took the crumped notebook and rusty razor blades
out to the trash and threw them away
without a second thought
like you threw away my heart.
The bruise has faded now,
the bruise you left me
the purple has faded to a yellow
you may not notice it at first glance
but when I push on it just right
the same deep-throbbing pain
as when I first received it
shoots through my body
I bite my teeth and curse your name
If it wasn't for your big brown eyes
I would have never gotten myself into that mess.

Do you have any idea the pain you caused me?
or were you too blinded by your own scars to see mine?

I want to runaway,
Far into the oceans.
Into the abyss of waters,
The unexplored depts of
Undiscovered species of fish
And devouring monsters.

I want to runaway,
Maybe to Africa in the forests.
Where wolves, dogs and dragons roam.
Make a tent out of straw and mud,
And all it my home.
Spend the rest of my life alone.

I want to runaway.
Maybe to the snow clad- region of
The Himalayan mountains,
Or to the frozen poles of the earth.
Stand to the highest peaks,
Without any clothes
So my limbs can freeze ,
Till they look like plastic manikins.

I want to run away,
Take up permanent residence on mars,
Or the moon,
Or maybe on the sun.
Far away from earth as possible,
Because If I stay here,
You'll just be a village away,
A city away...
A country away...
Maybe a continent and it wont be enough,
I'll still spend each night thinking of you.

I want to runaway.
Maybe to another galaxy,
Maybe here exists parallel universe
Where I can escape.
One where there are actually super heros
That wear spandex and capes.
One where happily ever after's are real,
And you know exactly how I feel.

I want to runaway.
Escape this reality to wear stars align.
I would bend and twist,
Or manipulating time.
Abuse any available strength I can find,
Just to get you out of my mind.

There are so many lives we have touched, as we crossed each other's path.  It was only for precious friendships, and not for what we hath.
There are so many lives we have touched, and friends we will never forget.  It may be years, before friends are seen, while searching for others. don't give up yet.
There are so many lives we have touched, they are friends held within our hearts.  Once these friends are found, you hope they will never depart.
There are so many lives we have touched, don't ever take their friendship in vain.  It is friends that really cares, that help keep us alive and sane.
By, Author & Poet, Sandra Juanita Nailing