We dashed from your ally with
Each spring up the hill I could sense
The world abdicate from the unfamiliar
Hand I was embracing my body became hollow as
The wind carefully pierced me we reached the stage the
Lucent lights shone on your lips and my mouth watered while
The cold seized our bodies forcing them to glue together under the
Blanket of stars the warmth soothed the air but we held the cold captive as
A cover to cherish the glow that bubbled us from the city lights and the flourishing
Leaves when the secretive silence stole the cold’s show “so” you leaned in and brushed your Lips off mine and the bubble burst and everything shifted. All because of this. One. Moment.

Find me,
Lose me,
Hide and go seek.
Hit me,
Abuse me,
Is that what you need?
Abandon me,
Breathless,
As I softly bleed.
Run away,
Get drunk,
Rant your tough journey.
I understand,
You were hurt,
But don’t take it out on me.
I love you,
Too much,
And I can’t leave.

We reached our peak so we’re off to sleep
The singing summer’s now humming a lullaby.
Tuck yourself in, while I search for a new sin
I’ve already caught your yelling yawn.
The autumns nye and I a dying leaf
Still green, but barely hanging from your tree.
I’ll wrap myself up, in a hat and gloves
But your cold will still nip at the spaces between.
There’s no shield from the shredding of love
So I’ll sweep with the wind to better things.

In my youth, I came across an intoxicating friend
As quick as tiger, my friend emerged to my best
Never one without the other, permanently in my hand
My best friend guided me through life, momentarily erased the problems I had
My best friend unlocked my happiness, then allured it in a jar
Only to be released in vehemence, which mutated into truth
The truth haunted my family’s soul, I moaned secrets of antagonism never to be told
My mind went to war, my friend was getting old
but I was in too deep and couldn’t let go
I craved it’s company, the feeling it gave
But it lead me to destruction, depression and hate.
The people that cared, begged me to release
But it was out of grasp, out of my reach
Soon they let go, something I was ******* to
Now I was the one, shadowed by the truth.

As I tumbled down the lane, with a bottle in my hand
I was immune to pain, felt no blood in my veins.
Goose bumps replaced the ragged clothes that barely covered my skin
A ghost blurred my vision, but opened my eyes to sin
I only saw a jigsaw of contention, a forest of grief
Then I blacked out, my once best friend killed me.

I awoke in a daze, but new life set ablaze in my heart
The ghost floated away, and at last I saw the light
The shadows dropped and a refreshed beginning was in sight
The alcohol was no friend of mine, it stole my time to realize
I gazed at my friend, and softly smiled
This newfound enemy was condemned to die
With a smash of a bottle, a break of a heart
A splash of disease, a pool of blood
A life soon to be forgotten and a new life soon to be remembered.

I sang to the slugs
The brisk air smothered my words
As the nightly silence swept through the grass.
Concrete cornered me in
But, my mind was too big
Down crashed the colonial cubes.
Uprose tantalizing trees
Shock stalled my limp breathing
The lone yard transformed into my dreams.


What now that all is mine?
How do I thrive with such a surprise?
No limitations, except time.


Deep gaze into freedom
Arms wide awaiting its embrace
Though I stalled it too late
As it all began to fade.
Pixel by pixel,
Beautiful particles sprinkling like ash
Soon reality came back
While my dreams ran off to laugh
Left me deflated in my yard.
I wiped my tired eyes and sighed
Perhaps I can dream again another night.

This is no fairy tail or a callow dream
I’m inside a black and white reality
Here there’s no fun anomalies
I can feel the fear that faces me

Bag on my back, plan intact
My breath chasing down this act
Courage compelling me to sign the pact
To seize freedom from a lost land

Each step sparks a second guess
Will this idea betray me to regret
Even with instinct screeching out my chest
Follow the present, forget the rest

Pick out memories to make a trail
Unload all empathy so I won’t bail
Anticipation becomes stale
Just an inch of hope helping me sail

I finally find a forest of friends
A sigh of relief, I breathe in the end
The trees, the flowers, my soul distends
Escaped to a place where my mind can amend

I store at an isolated mark that stood lonesome among the words that were written around the board.
To divert myself from the alien eyes that tore the flesh from my
body.
They dug at my vulnerability.
An odour of discomfort defended it.
My eyes stayed stiff on the meager mark.
To hold my pride strong.
I locked my weakness in the darkness of my mind.
It was no prison.
My mind was a mental asylum.
Crazy thoughts raced around helplessly.
They slashed every enemy besides it’s trusted companion of anxiety.
My head dove into my hands.
They vibrated sending shivers down my body.
Their hierarchy of judgement nipped at my ear.
Or did it?

I was defeated.

The bell jangled and I jumped.
I raised my head in a daze a final time.
I studied the classroom and saw my classmates with their blank faces.
No heads turned.
No whispers heard.
Just people who omitted all around them.
The light shifted when I recognized I was the judge. I caused the war. It’s a battle I lost to myself. The hardest battle of all.

A foundation of funny, quietly tiptoeing around the serious
Only voicing matters of fact
Keeping the peace in tact

My language left me, tangled in vulnerability
Suppression was easy
When questions got heavy

Never have I had the heart to say, that I’m willing to give my heart away
Something held me back..
The risk of a heart attack

You’ve given me your all, I’ve given you a quarter
In fear nothing more exists
I investigated all evidence

I blocked the view of me and you, until feelings finally broke through
There’s only so much you can say and not feel too
I’m ready to truly love you

Memories stain like pen on paper,
A moment now, a memory later.
You wish to forget, a day it will fade,
One bad moment, it will all concave.
All the bad will compress your soul,
Unlock the memories, you thought were old.
Here again, at the starting line,
Ready to pretend you’re fine.

I'm only a poet when I'm sad