sometimes it seems too easy
slurping into a man who pleases me
makes me feel queasy
but all he does is tease me

i anticipate darkness
my actions seem thoughtless

but really
it's a rally of good vs evil,
what feelings will conquer
and what ones will shrivel?

i crave adrenaline
never feeling enough is enough.
trapped in a cycle
too blissful to dismiss,
eventually invoke the abyss.

energy swarming my fingertips,
unsure of where to exchange the flow
fiending for the delicate aroma of rose hips.

heart aches
in a fluctuating pace
deepens the hollow pit
growing to fit
perfect

destroy your own psyche
so you only have yourself to blame

dont let others tap into your heart
it'll only make the pain start.

he got suspended this week
trying to act on his wishes
i just thought you were speaking
abnormally
but then you were peaking
no time for thinking.

as a child
we realized the world could be conquered
longing for the wild
and searching for the sign
that will make it all better

searching for a sweater
to cover all the chatter

theme music bumping
not a care to be trumping

life erupting
anxiety inhaling
nervous thoughts prevailing

you've really grown up.

straight for a moment
winding again
aching for atonement
a silence of zen

can you understand me?

if you die in your dreams
you die in real life too

i never thought I'd be in the morgue
free of college loans
free of troubled relationships
free of daily struggle

you could at least take my clothes off
as i gorge my body in eternal slumber
let my life energy dissolve
and slip through the casket cracks

my sparkles of matter
seek a fresh host
most compatible
with my reincarnation

they flicker in nothingness
to suppress the inevitable
afraid to begin life renewed

my cells linger in shame
alone in the void of will
free of responsibility
free of choices
baptised in pure utopia

but they know their true purpose
unpermitted to resist
if a decision cannot be made
one will be made for them

do they accept the ease
allow the decision to be made
and alleviate anxieties

or do they determine the best host
for their misfortune

I'm slinkin out,
puttin a future behind.
My thoughts are in a scatter
How can i decipher all this chatter?

I just wanna float by in a haze
Leave my mind in hope for some sort of praise,
One moment of peace.

I can't take the accusations
I may seem lost but it's all in the creation

Boozed up, no judgement to spare
Wouldn't have even bothered on a dare
Am I the only scumbag?
Nah, you're all ****** in the head too.

I let the shell crumble
Gave into the demon.
No ***** left to give,
I'm in this alone.
My mind knows its truth,
My heart ignores its signs.

Make me smile and maybe my
Legs spread, knees bend.
Seek your truth,
Have you found mine?

they say showing your true self can be scary
and that people like to avoid it
like bugs crawling under your skin
sinking their teeth from within

theres no way to escape the mites
that pump you full of frights
they linger and quiver
until you're stuck wondering
why you're getting thinner.