Kayla Manor: Favorites

Nov 2017 Kayla Manor

Journey of Days

I can see the path
the one that takes me...leads me
not back

time and events have changed me
there is no going back
but it does lead me to something, familiar
to where I am meant to be
I have felt the path ...not visible...near to where I am stumbling in circles
cruel - hey?
right alongside me
just unseen
perhaps I was not ready to see
with lessons to be learned
the pain and suffering i need to endure ...in order to take the path
that leads me
not back

@journeyofdays

Written as part of a series - The Meditations #1 - #11, over three days at a silent spiritual retreat. more healing took place in three silent days that in three years of therapy. Go figure! Not there yet but it is a more productive work in progress. #thisjourneyofdays

#meditation #healing #ptsd #ptsinjury

Nov 2017 Kayla Manor

π, the symbol

Nov 2017 Kayla Manor

Julia

π, the symbol

loss of ego immortal wound
loss of possessions
greed
identity
bohemian hallways crumble
souls escape through backbends
spiders build webs
as Lucy learns to walk on legs

an eye is opening
showing us as one
becomes infinity
escapes zero
precedes the binary
in the absence of (time)
the crucial slit makes here/there
omnipupil primes the present

3 6 9 ...
5 8 13 ...
17 19 23 ...
everything you want
nothing how it seems

#fibonacci #spheres #counting #eyeofhorus #woke

Nov 2017 Kayla Manor

Expected

Nov 2017 Kayla Manor

Natalie Neo

Expected

Blonde
*****
*****

Really?

I expected more from you.

#love #expectations #blonde #***** #*****

Nov 2017 Kayla Manor

Closed Doors

Nov 2017 Kayla Manor

SL

Closed Doors

You're lucky to have a family, how could you say you're not
People don't have a family like yours, your parents are still together - what do you have to complain about
You should be happy to have a sister, I would **** to have a sister
Life is different behind closed doors
You see a happy family out in the streets but you don't know what happens at home, when the doors are closed, when it's night and everyone comes home
I have family yes, but is it a good family? Is it a family that I would want to spend time with?
No
Don't assume my life is perfect
Don't assume that I get everything that I want
My family is complicated and no one wants to know what happens behind closed doors
Once you say you can't take it back
What happened to your wrist? Nothing, don't worry
Why do you have bruises on your arms and legs? I fell
These are the typical responses I give when something happens at home
You look tired, have you been getting enough sleep?
How could I sleep when my mind is always on and there are fights
No one knows what happens behind closed doors.

Everyone has secrets regarding their family and that no one is perfect.

#family #issues

Nov 2017 Kayla Manor

paper cranes

Nov 2017 Kayla Manor

Tati Streidl

paper cranes

i still can’t say your name.
not because, the sound makes me sad,
but rather because
the way the letters sit on my tongue and,
the way the syllables leave my lips
simply don’t feel as comfortable as they used to.
i wonder if you can’t hear my name.
the way you told me to add an accent to the end.
the way I made it sound like the ending to a love note,
a love note my diction could fold into a paper crane
that could fly to your heart.
i remember how you recorded me saying my own name,
because, you loved the way the vowels
dripped off my lips one by one,
the way I could curl the four letter nickname so gently
it sounded like a cursive word,
wrapped and tucked behind your ear.
i hope you can’t listen to those recordings,
because I can’t listen to my favorite songs.
i hope one day your mouth opens to say her name
and closes knowing it said my own,
because any time I type another man’s name on my phone,
it somehow autocorrects to yours.
i hope my paper crane name has made a nest in the back of your mind,
laying eggs that will hatch whenever you touch her,
so when you hold her hand,
the little crane in your skull says that only word it knows infinitely well:
táti.

#paper #crane #name #pain #voice #sound #love #letters #heart #lips

Nov 2017 Kayla Manor

ghost

Nov 2017 Kayla Manor

beth fwoah dream

ghost

you can only
imagine my kiss,

i am a mirage,
the glossy night
blown into
stars,

i am a phantasm
in the autumn frost,

layered like
the night’s soft
cloud,
a stream of
golden leaves
crisp in the quiet
air,

i drown in the
water of the stars

i faint, a ghostly
apparition
you can
hardly
sense in
the dream-like
surrender of
our love,
arousing our
limbs,
kisses like
the flowers of time.

#loving #you

Nov 2017 Kayla Manor

Scream

Nov 2017 Kayla Manor

Chase Alexander

Scream

What's the point of trying
when I'm already gone and dying?
I've given up hope and sold my soul.
I gave you my heart
when you stole my last breath.
I'm afraid of living,
not of death.

Waking up terrified
because I'm still alive.
Pray for death at each meal.
Don't think my heart will ever heal.
Each step I take adds on to the pain.
Feeding the zombies my heart
not my brain.

Drag me down into a dirt bed.
Bury me underground.
When I'm gone
don't make a single sound.

Drag me down into my grave.
Baby please you must be brave.
Don't come to me.
Just scream.

I see the world in grey.
All life's color has drained.
I've made my decision.
No more choices to be made.
I've made my final sacrifice
and baby it was you.
The sad thing is
I don't think you ever had a clue.

There is no way to stop me
I'm too far down this road.
So close to execution
now it's destiny foretold.
I know you will run for me,
but there's nothing to catch.
They were always deep,
not a baby scratch.

Drag me down into a dirt bed.
Bury me underground.
When I'm gone
don't make a single sound.

Falling into a self-inflicted hell.
I do not need your help.
I'm a fallen angel from Heaven I fell.
Listen to the stories I tell.
Learn to live a better life;
a lesson to put down your knife.

When I am gone I need you to live.
Please don't follow in my footsteps.
Depression took me over
it's my time to go.
There was no way for me to cope.
Take me over and send me hope.
Breathe your life into my throat.

Drag me down into my grave.
Baby please you must be brave.
Don't come to me.
Just scream.

#scream #death #hope #life #pain #grey #depression #hell #gone #soul

Nov 2017 Kayla Manor

A Letter To My Future Spouse

Nov 2017 Kayla Manor

Brent

A Letter To My Future Spouse

Little by little, I will learn from you
Each and everyday.
All your laughs and laments;
Naughts and nevers;
In every detail of your own story
And in every inch of your soul.

May our journey keep us together
Always and forever.
Hands of ours writing our story yet
Intertwined on the other.
May every moment we make,
Every memory and regret,
Remembered evermore.

I am taking a course in college about Marriage & Family in society. And our professor required us to make a 'letter' to our future spouse. I took this opportunity to make another poem, even though I'm busy with other academics.

#letter #future #spouse #marriage #love #life #bright #wife

Nov 2017 Kayla Manor

Wooden's Wife

Nov 2017 Kayla Manor

Neville Johnson

Wooden's Wife

It’s my only chance to see her
I’m not afraid to die, then go to heaven
I was with her for 56 years
She’s been gone a dozen years
I miss my wife, dear Nell
She was my best friend
She still is, I know she
Watches over me, understand
We had a bond so strong
We didn’t need to talk
We sure got along
If only she hadn’t smoked
We both lost to that
If only, it left me lonely
We had such a blast
Just living day to day
One fun family
Me and her, just me and her
That’s all we did need
So, no, I’m not afraid to die
For when that someday comes
I’ll rejoin her in a peaceful place
And be with my darling one

I wrote the authorized biography of legendary UCLA basketball coach, John Wooden. He once said this; now he is gone. This is an homage to him and his wife, Nell, in verse

#love #death #marriage #heaven #mourning #loss