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  Jan 2019 kaitlyn
Lily
I’ve become so good at
Pretending to be okay,
I don’t even remember what
It feels like to let it all go.  
I don’t remember letting my friends see my anxiety,
Breaking down in front of somebody,
Smiling a genuine smile.  
I don’t remember showing any emotion besides okay,
Fine, normal.  
I remain the definition of average,
Blending in so well I don’t even think about it.  
Sometimes I want to just stop.  
Just stop all of the pretending and let myself feel.  
But I can do it.  
I can do whatever I need to do
In order to keep things normal.  
And that’s the scariest thing of all.
  Jan 2019 kaitlyn
leporidae the silent
sometime after the sun finally set,
i found you out by the side exit steps.
i knew it'd been ages since we spoke,
so i asked you, how've you kept?
have you eaten, have you slept?
me? yeah, yeah. just out for a smoke.
i'm fine today too, 'cept since i woke.
  Jan 2019 kaitlyn
Eyithen
You've been having one of those weeks
When you can barely stand on your feet
If you are feeling down, feeling blue
Than this poem is for you

It is okay to not be okay
Just don't run away
Through the good times and the bad,
When your happy or your sad
I'll never turn away
Just ask me to stay

So your mama ain't been faithful or kind
She said she's sorry, she lied
Your dad is passed out on the couch, another bottle in his hand
I guess he lost the fight again

You say your fine
but I see it in your eyes
Its clear your not
don't leave yourself to rot

Please hear what I have to say
Please dear, don't push me away
You will make it through the day
Three little words that's all it takes

So with tears in your eyes, you finally confess
Your falling apart, your a mess,
"Im not okay" , you finally say
"And that is okay" I relay

So if you feel like you just might break
Like your life was one big mistake
Hear me out
It's clear and loud

let down the mask
no need to be intact
fall apart if you must
the rain will clear the dust

You are fine, you are okay
And I will help you if you ask me to stay
But you don't need to say a word because I know you
And I will always help through and through.

But remember this, come what may
Its okay to not be okay.
For a struggling friend
  Jan 2019 kaitlyn
Amaris
when the day begins i taste salt
dreams turned into nightmares
can't tell between reality and sleep
at this point it's hard to care

misery is my loyal companion but
there's worry it's all in my mind
to feel all this but chaotic and wrong
don't want to accept that maybe i'm fine

saying i'm okay doesn't help
cause and effect can't be traced
so many variables of what could be bad
my own self is hard to face

the girl in the mirror is me but not
i barely recognize details
what if this is all my fault
how did i become so frail
  Jan 2019 kaitlyn
josh wilbanks
I was walking down a broken sidewalk
Heading no where in particular
Always alone, never lonely
When suddenly I stumbled upon a rose
A singular rose
Grown between the cracks
In my broken sidewalk
I stopped to gaze
Afraid of her beauty
She smelled of poison
I plucked her stem
Together we walked
For about a block
Before suddenly,
She wilted.

I see her on the other side of the street.
Growing strong, bold, beautiful.
She's in a meadow, with her kind.
This side walk has never been so lonely.
I was okay being alone until she showed me how lonely it was
  Jan 2019 kaitlyn
plat
My time has come
My performance is over
For the demons of the night
Have come over me
So I must bid you farewell
For I can no longer fight
Their ever powerful spell
I realize now that the original had the word but where bid is now, i typed this at midnight on my phone so spelling was a little out the window, thanks for all you who enjoyed it anyway
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