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kaitlyn Jul 23
Life is made out to be something so beautiful and precious.
But what happens when a human begins to wake up everyday and doesn't see it that way.
All they want is to let go and find somewhere else to be.
They'd do anything to be anywhere but here.
"They will never truly see our world as what God set it out to be."
How can you deem something around you beautiful when all you want to do is leave it?
Life is what you make it,
Not what someone else tells you it should be.
kaitlyn Jul 19
We both watched each other fall apart in the span of months.
There was nothing I could do except keep a memory of the man I used to know.
She took you from yourself.
I don't blame you.
Neither of us knew at the time.
I know you didn't mean what you said to me later that night.
I could somehow read it through your eyes.
It was like I knew you again for a second, a glimpse of the man you once were.
I hold you close to my heart.
  Jun 12 kaitlyn
I want to write about what hurts because I think it will
Stop me from hurting. If I put these words on
A page then they will be easier to digest.
Poetry isn't curative by creation, it is
Just confession. Still, these remedial
Lines are what I turn to when I am holding
Too much in my hands. Right now, I feel
Like I am overflowing onto the ground below me.
For the first time,
I don't want to write about what hurts. I want
To keep it inside of me and let it burn me. I want
To carry it in my palms for as long as I can.
I should write
About how we've said goodbye so
Many times that it turned into a threat, a weapon
We made with our tongues.
I should write
About how I lied and got away with it,
How you got caught with
Your hands tied and no one to blame.
I should write
About how it was over before we waved the white
Flag, and I know what it means now
To hold onto a sinking ship.
I've never had anything to die for.
I should write about how I've never wanted
Something so much that I devastated it completely.
We loved in harsh conditions, under sun and darkness and
I don't know how to write about how
The love didn't save us.
I don't write about letting go as much as I write about
Holding on, and I want
That to change.
I don't want to write hurt just to feel it.
The next poem I write about you will be
About me. About how I held on and how I let go.
It won't be about your love, it will be about
Mine. It won't stop me from hurting, but
It is how I make it out
Of my love alive.
  Jun 12 kaitlyn
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a thousand papers
Filled with broken poetries
And deadbeat proses
Full of woeful verses
With mournful pieces
Of unfinished stories
That are yet to be written
And failed to be spoken;
If you could read my mind,
You’d hear horrible screams
And earsplitting weeps
From shattered dreams,
Kept in a nasty notepad,
Scribbled on a bed
Of bloodstained words,
Ringing in my head.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the shadows
That lurk within me;
You’d hear the bellows,
Screeching the words
“I’m tired,”
“I’m a failure,”
“I’m stupid –”
I know it sounds stupid,
It’s pathetically foolish
And seems too *******.
If you could read my mind,
You’d feel the tears
I had ever failed to cry;
You’d see the people
That make the weak weaker;
You’d see the monsters
That consume my head;
You’d hear the hollers
That failed to be freed;
You’d see the heart
That still bleeds and bleeds.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see the face
I’ve failed to show back then,
The face I’ve faked back then.
If you could read my mind,
You’d see a character
I had ever failed to become
If you could read my mind,
You’d be able to read
A book you never wished
To touch and read,
But sometimes I still wish
Someone could read my mind.
  Jun 12 kaitlyn
please stop

i’d really appreciate it

you’re hurting me
i don’t like it

please stop
  Jun 5 kaitlyn
I want to see you so bad,
while my flesh is still burning,
I still feel it every day,
cause it's an everyday thing.

Can you feel all these tears,
that still pour from my eyes?
Can you give me all of yours,
so I can be the one to die?

I don't want you to suffer,
from this pain living inside,
I'll be the one to cry forever,
cause its the crying I like.

You know I'd do anything,
if it meant you were happy,
just wish I was beside you,
so we could never stop laughing.

I still remember the times,
when we stood out in the rain.
We're so different you and I,
but we're both still the same.

I still imagine you before me,
doing all the things we like to do,
but waking up from that glorious dream,
reminds me to renew,

Everything you've
ever given
i'm not over you..
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