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  Jun 2015 Kagami
Jindomess
One by one they fall
The ones I thought
Were my friends
There they go,
Distancing themselves
From me,
Until they are completely gone
From sight
But not from mind

Every night I remember
The fallen faces
Once friends
Now death eaters
Devouring my
Malleable flesh

"You will never lose me"
The newest one to the
Fallen faces said just the night before
She lied, and stole my friend

One less from my already
Tiny group
Of people who "care" for me

I never know what I do
To deserve this from anyone
Maybe its my tone
My anger
The demons that let themselves loose
On the page

Or maybe it's the things that count
The things they know and see of me
The kindness I give to them
The love I give for all I care for
Or the horrible, despicable, evil
Things inside themselves,
That I protect them from

My malleable flesh
That they currode away
The flesh that
They know is weak
And know they can walk all over
Because of my overwhelming kindness

I don't know
Why I keep believing
When people say they won't leave
When they always do

My mother
Gives me my kindness
My father
Gives me the rage I throw
On pages and pages
But never show

My mother
The reason why I'm so malleable
My father
The reason why I have the dreams
Of killing, of yelling

Both
My depression

My mind now
Reworking all that has just happened
In it self
It organizes my thoughts
Replaying the events
Showing what to do next time

Re-Awakening itself
To now know
Not to trust those who
Show no effort
Who pretend to know
Who eventually, will be the others
In my dreams,
Of killing
In my writing,
Where all of my demons let loose.

I want to love all
Even thought I know
Not all will love me
i ******* quit... I probably have a lot of mistakes... And I would love thoughtful criticism.... I hate spelling
  Jun 2015 Kagami
Jindomess
A sea of flames surrounds you
As it get engulfs you
By colors of
Red, blue, and yellow
Burning
First like a flame from a lighter
It grows
Eating at the flesh
What was once pale
Now glows a bright red
Or decaying black
Ashes fly
Now so loose from the heat
It peels of in chunks
Showing the meat and bone beneath

A faint whisper
Off in the distance
You hear as you draw your last breath
Of the boiling air around you

Laughter....
ha... Haha...
Kagami Jun 2015
It seems that heads are rolling
And ideas are left to perch atop
These humanoid bodies.
Unnatural.
When did humanity lose itself and begin
To create the poison we consume?
The rotten images of walking ***
And fumes of chemical death?
These corrosive lifestyles spread like
Wildfire and teenage legs.
Soon, there will be nothing
But the empty heads that
Obsess over the next ****,
The next dose of whatever form of
****** is "The New Hot Topic."
And the rest of us will be left
Picking up the pieces.
  May 2015 Kagami
That One Guy
I remember someone I once knew
You are no longer her
She has faded away with time
I sometimes see her deep inside
But no longer showing
Tucked away, she still finds her way out
Sometimes

But this new person is growing
More beautiful than before

What once was a wilting flower
Is now a new bud growing into
A beautiful flower
Lavender, sunflower, rose?
Who knows

But one day it will be fully grown
Yes it might wilt on the dry
Horrible days of its life
With the old self trying to break free
From its prison deep inside

But you are stronger now
And you can keep it from reaching the top
And decaying the beautiful outer flower
Smile for me? You are the most beautiful person in the world... And that smile of yours could brighten anyone's day... I wish I could see it... I love you...
Kagami May 2015
A few forgetful moments
And I am littered with paper cuts.
Each tear is a page: a meaning: a reason.

I am encased with quilts and a
Bubbling love, but the chills
And demons find their way through.

I was told
Explicitly
To pull my head out of my ***,
Because struggling with education, depression, and
Harassment
Is inconvenient for others.

I forgot to reline the trash can in the bathroom.

Dear diary,
I almost hurt myself again today. Its been over ten months since I did it last, but you know what a ***** life is.
See ya later!


***** reminds me of rainbows,
And vice-verse.
My stomach is thunder.

I don't have enough tears to make it rain,
But I might **** enough.


What should I do with my life?
I make decisions and
Work my *** off more than any
16 year old I know,
And care for others in any way I can
In hope that they will return the favor when I need it,
But I'm still ignorant and selfish, says she.

Sometimes I wonder which way is up
And right. A nervous tick of mine.
A moody strand of my being.
Trying to connect to reality, but curving...
I need help.
Kagami Apr 2015
Restlessly bleeding words onto a page
And looking past cliches to realize
Just how beautiful they are
Can only mean one thing.

The monster is back.
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