Did you ever
Think on behalf of my feelings
Next time
Think of how selfish you are
When you say
I love you.

I want conversation and car rides,
long nights of green eyes.

I want pastries with whipped cream,
text messages that make me kiss the screen.

I want belted Frank Sinatra,
followed by Moonlight Sonata.

I want gifts I can't afford
that you bought when you were bored.

I want to be calmed and collected,
defended and protected.

I want knowledgeable open-minds,
loquacious words to be defined.

I want my hands to be called soft
and looked at more often

I want my neck to be smelled
then my face to be held.

I want impressed parents,
please share your organic carrots.

I want admiring looks
over the top of Ayn Rand's books.

I want a loss of words
over a song that you just heard.

I want minor disputes
over ideas that don't compute.

I want you to continue to listen
when I question your decisions.

I want button-ups and bowties
that make you different from most guys.

I want time to freeze
and for you to always need me.

I want envious stares
from people who shouldn't care.

I want effortless chemistry
to attract me helplessly.

I want tension filled days,
say you want me with a gaze.

I want my back to be a painting so scandalous
you brush your lips up and down the canvas.

I want clean, boring sheets
to be livened with heat

that I provided.

I want you to be excited

when I come around.

When I grab at my neck
You are the only one
Who knows what it means
You know to say stop
To hold me
To hug me

This is my truth:
I fall too easily in love.
Like the tall thin golden grass,
I bend in the winds of admonishment.
The slightest touch will snap me,
The lightest breath will move me.
I sway toward whispered "I love you's"
Lean in toward sighed "I want you's"
Break at sobbed "I need you's."
I am a fool for heavy-lidded gazes
And lazy touches in the dark.
I slay myself over and over again,
I bleed out for empty words.
I cannot define myself outside
The context of the words you sing.
I have lost my identity somewhere
Between the cracks in your voice
When you beg me to come back home.
I can only stand the sound of my name
When you breathe it down my throat.
This is my truth:
I fall in love too easily.
I define myself by the terms set
By sad boys with empty hearts
And tired eyes.
I fall in love for convenience,
So as not to be alone.
My love for him was borne of a need
To sate the hunger I felt when you left.
In truth, I have always been yours,
And that is all I know how to be.

I can feel my lust grow
Each time you say hello