Study sleepy water
Build bricks in your showers
Try to find some balanced ground

Streets crawl like rivers
Buddha is the new potassium
Black is the new fast track

Try to find some Hometown

Tennis Courts are tea tables
              the places we sit and think
      Inside the box

Leave your scars/mistakes/All the pieces of you that are plates
                                       Fragile, easy to break
In the car, locked, just like your keys

Stand on rooftops with umbrellas
             Waiting for Meteorites        
Find some Peace of Mind

Or Open & Close them
  Like S.O.S
And signal for Help

Build houses like Sandcastles
To realize time is eternal
           But you aren't

Keep your childhood like a locket

You aren't a puppet
      Socks are

Find some confidence
      And let sheep be for counting only

I hate how you broke me down
Only to build me up
Just so you could break me down once again

I hate how you convinced me to open up to you when I was shy
Only to give you what you wanted from me
And then tell me to be ashamed for being so exposed

I hate how you would ask me what’s wrong
Only to pretend to listen as I would cry
And then tell me off for thinking I have it harder than others

I hate how you would tell me you loved me
Only for me to find out that you have another lover
And then to get angry with me when I would try to move on

I hate how I wasted my time loving you unconditionally
In hopes that you would love me too
Only to realize after eight months that you don’t deserve me

I find myself here, wild
roaming the long road home
to no one belong

Spend all of these days
together or alone

Survive the heave and cleave
the warp, the weave
of winding years

A lifetime, a spiral of
trying
flying
dying

~~~

Is zero a number?
Is numb a feeling?
Is comatose slumber?
Is sleep now healing?

Is why a question?
Is try a verb?
When you can't shake
The ***** and herb?

Is static music?
Is silence screaming?
Is nighttime cursed...

is daytime dreaming?


SoulSurvivor
Rewrite (c) 5/12/2015
Written 2014

Using my fairest hand
I wrote your name on a scrap of paper,
And slipped it into my wallet
So it would be next to my heart
All day.

So that I could carry you with me
To venerate
Like the bones of a blessed saint
In a casket.

I opened up my box of relics
A testament to loves
Unloved
To hearts broken
To lives unravelled.

An acorn that did not grow into an oak.
A fossil from some petrified forest.
Mocking my broken heart
With it's unthinkable age.

The note, scribbled,
The perfumed scarf.
The poem.
The coaster.
Things.

To remind me
As if I could ever
Forget.

I fell behind because I was too busy pushing you forward.