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 Mar 2017 Joshua Green
Colm
Foremost
 Mar 2017 Joshua Green
Colm
I cannot see outside of me
Just as I cannot see the other side of the other screen
Or the person who might admire my words
Or just how they might even appear to be

But this is fine and alright with me
Because foresight flows most equally
Both to and from the truth within
Until such truth is know to me

And just as I might never see
The person who reads my poetry
There is something refreshing inside of me
Like an inherent truth reminding me

That only the readers who I let see
Will ever get a chance to be
Within that certain sight in question
First and foremost, as it appeared to me
This is life. This is me. This is the truth I hold in this moment. (:
Dear mom,
Please stop blaming me
Using society as a shield for the
Disgust YOU feel towards ME

You expect too much
Refuse to say
What you want and
I know I know
It's all my fault
Isn't it always?

Stop being selfish
My anger isn't some
Guarantee you ****** up
It wasn't you
Someone hurt me
To protect you I fell silent
**** that angered you

Stop expecting me
To behave on behalf of society
One that
Threw me away
As a child
Shunned my differences
When I couldn't explain them

You never accept that
You have anything to do with
What happens to me

Dear mom,
Want the truth?
Here it is:
I spent a week
Starving myself to
Feel better and free
While you continued to
Badger me

I'm not even sorry
That I can't blame myself
For once I NEED
Selfishness-
At least enough
To tolerate myself
Haven't written in a while... trying to get some things down
Maybe tell me what ya think?
 Mar 2017 Joshua Green
hazael-fae
Her eyes share the same color of the moon
the darkness passes by
and the shy sun kisses us with light
the wind whispers
foggy mists surround us
hypnotized by this realistic dream
we let our skin turn to ice
surrendering to this feeling
grateful for this air we touch
pure coldness blaze our skin
this soft sunlight filters through this land
its presence frees this bitterness from our skin
sweet therapy
 Mar 2017 Joshua Green
Graff1980
The world is a heavy burden
a place that builds you up
with broken bits of brick,
rage, and pain.

The wind carries the names
of those who are to silent
to ever really blame me
for all that we lost.

I rush to write this
memory of truth I found
before it slips my grip
and drips down into
the crypt that carried the few
who left me behind to brood.

I am angry and sad
to see my granddad
discarded at a nursing home.
A diabetic left to die alone
not because he was not loved
but because we all had lives to live.
I forgive all of them
but deny myself that mercy.
On the last day he was alive
he said goodbye
in his own way.
When I said “I loved him”
he weakly replied “thank you.”
Though it was not his intent to,
he made me I feel like I had failed him.
My familial affections
must have seemed like rain
on the desert wind,
brief and rare.
I left him there
and he died.
Frequently,
I wake day or night
with tears in my eye

I am angry and sad
that I saw my grandma wither,
looking like
some small sickly goblin
at the end of her life
because her loved ones
would not let her
let herself die.
They forced her to eat
when she could not leave
that bed where she slept.
While death crept
I kept to myself
to lazy and afraid
to deal with the tension
of arguing with her
about my lack of
her religion.
So, she died
and my anger
simmered inside
as the tears flowed
outside.

I am angry and sad
that I treated my brother so bad.
I was struggling at nineteen
and did not want to see
the mother who hurt me.
So, I avoided him
left him trapped
alone with an abusive
patriarch
to break his heart
and his pain broke mine.
Though he has forgiven me
I cannot let go so easily
and my rage keeps boiling.

I am angry and sad,
made to feel bad,
left seething mad
because I saw
living loved ones
exit my life
beyond the stage lights.
It was their right
but it feels like
their leaving
was saying
that I was not good enough
to keep the ones I loved
in my life.
Black haired girl
left for the Army.
Black haired girl
left our online friendship.
Blond girl
left for her original lover.
One friend gone
then time takes another.
Brown haired girl
moved on to someone better.
How could I not,
I had to let her.
Here my heart breaks again
thought I made a beautiful friend
but it is her turn to leave.

In being left again
I turn my pain and rage within
to disintegrate the one I hate.
I despise those mirror eyes
whom are not good enough
to keep the ones I love.
I long for the day
gray hairs, false teeth,
and wrinkles take me
to a place where no one
can ever leave me again.
Dear heartbreak
I shouldve known
Shouldve seen you
Sitting on the doorstep
Waiting to
Welcome me home

I shouldnt have brushed you off
Pushed you to the side
You were still waiting
Knowing Id find my way back
Back to you

Baby,
You did a number on me
Took hold of and
Controlled me

I gave up
So much of
Myself to you
Stopped eating
Hardly living
Barely breathing

Im finally
Taking myself back
Please
Understand that
Was thinking of doing a series of/about the soulmate who broke my heart... wasnt sure what people would think wrote this instead
 Mar 2017 Joshua Green
Colm
What can I say
When things are this way?
Not much I’m afraid
Make a comparison to the difference, be it night or day…
Cheesy
Tell you that it will not always be this way…
Untrue
Because only we as a race can say
And determine what it means
To be loved and to love
At least in this, this certain way
So what can I say?
When things are this way
Just be wise and be true
When you question that way
To be this... Is to question all of that. Continually. And for as long as you exist. Don't carry the weight of the unquestioning.
 Feb 2017 Joshua Green
Q
Forgive me, mother, not
For the things I have done
For they were done with the purest of intentions
Forgive me, rather, please
For the things I intended to do
Yet failed to bring to full fruition

And if you think it so just
To incriminate me thus
For crimes I have no evidence of committing
Your punishment I will accept
Like sweet nectar on my lips
And I shall live forever buried
In the turmoil of my everlasting shame
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