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Joshua Green Mar 2017
"Why" is the only word that comes to mind......
Indescribably looking at the world as it tilts, I just have to wonder
Have to ask "Why", Why was it that I hadn't had enough time to Remake my decisions?, Why was it that I hadn't had enough time to Build a better bond with Armani "Rocky" Hankins, with my friend, I'd Called "brother" If I ever meet you in person DON'T GIVE ME YOUR SYMPATHY!! Don't make me stay up at night questioning you Everyday, replaying the same **** scene, the same sounds and things I'd seen, BOOM!! his body drops as his mans holds him like Jesus Holding the cross while his friends scream "ARMANI GET UP!!" "BRO, COME ON, GET UP!!"(X2) and every time!! EVERY ******* TIME!! After that, I couldn't stop dropping my head because I didn't want to Look into that sky, I didn't want to see his face again, I didn't want to Believe, I couldn't believe he was dead!, For so long I'd forced myself to Eat at the longest of nights that never seemed to get brighter, Questioning you! Hating YOU!! YOU ******* *****!!! STAY AWAY!! Stay Away From My Loved Ones! Stay Away From Me!! NEVER LOOK BACK!!! Keep Moving Forwards And Backwards And Paradoxically As You Always Do!! JUST ******* MOVE!!!!!!
                                                 Joshua Green
I ******* MISS YOU BRO!!!!!
Joshua Green Jan 2017
I know what i need and not what i want/ Ironic, emotion is my one enemy// The one thing i wish i could destroy// Is the one thing that builds me as a man// Or should i say boy/ because i don't know what i want// I am in a loop and knowing for a simple fact that my one problem/ Is actually showing myself is hard// Harder than trying to break a brick wall// I am busy losing myself trying to help others// I am in a constant turnstile, swiping my card// Hoping that i can get to my train and ride away/ Down dark tunnels and find that bright light/ Leading to the surface// I still wonder what it is i want/ Constantly repeated in my subconscious, the same nuisance of a phrase// "It hurts"....."Its hurts so much"
Only The Beginning
Joshua Green Jan 2017
If only i was as wise as i'd been told// It is not the most heart aching thing to say// But to say "I Hate You" in my head// "You Are A *****" in my head// It is something i always shy away from// To know the simple ideal of over bearing anger// For myself and throwing it, blaming it on my mother// what a pain i am// To myself, to mind// who could tell me otherwise// My mother whose done so much// deserves much more from me// And yet i am such a child// Being with friends and letting substances control my every being// As said by a "wise man"// You become the company you keep// But this is much more than just company// My mother is my love// My mother is the one who knows me// And yet does not, but tries and does// She is the only person capable of piecing together// A chard up puzzle with burn marks and making it seem brand new// This is for you mom.......
For You Mom
Joshua Green Jan 2017
Scared much never// But misunderstood mostly//
I am the Joker before Batman trying to to be myself//
while he bullies me and throws his forceful words// assuming,
that i'll be okay i play his game// i throw myself at the caped crusader//
Homing in, on his emotions rather than his location//
Knowing he is weak as I// He is as sick as I// "Mine" is the word//
He repeats in mind, as he screams// "GET THE HELL OUT OF MY CITY!"// as i say in repetition// "God help  me"// hoping i'm heard// when i feel i am everything but heard//
Scared much, NEVER!!//
But misunderstood, MOSTLY!!//
TURNED COLD...........
this is based off a passive aggressive mentality
Joshua Green Dec 2016
He broke the lapse of life by using his disability
Losing his voice and gaining an sense of mortality
Weaving the threads of life, while smashing thunder to ground
Like caskets slammed and thrown 6 feet under
This God turned man had found his own thread
And yet realizing his fate, realizing his quietus, this God turned man
Had created signs, As if he saw the casket slam
In his face, this God threw signs left and right no questions
Asked, giving hope to the hopeless while losing it himself
Aphatos found what he'd thought was a gift this man
Found his voice.......Wishing he never had
Joshua Green Nov 2016
Anger itself speaks for us
                                   So please fear, what can be handled cuz'
                                                                                          Reality shows red and its never meant to really feel but always ****...............THE ANGER MANIFESTS, ITS SURREAL!!!!!!
Joshua Green Apr 2016
You're my Achilles Heel
I catch a glance and instantly
My thick flesh starts to peel
I look at you and in an instant
My heart feels; so distant, i fell in love
And yet you threw it all away
These past years depression and anxious tensions
Came in hard and then hid away
I guess the phrase "I Love You"
Is to cliche; Cuz everyday we come in contact
You drift away; So "**** IT!!"
That's how i feel, my heart becomes a cage
And my mind has gained mass appeal..............
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