Sink into the
softest bits of my
skin

Let me bottle
the scent of
your t-shirt
after you have
held onto me

Let me be the
gentle waves
that rock you to sleep

(A simple love)

If i told you i needed help
would you listen?
Or would your silence
Echo off the walls.
See my life is like a car,
Sometimes moving fast
And other times so **** slow.
If i told you i feel hurt inside
would you not just hear
but listen
to what i said
I need someone to care.
Im tired of trying to fight alone.
Im tired of trying to survive at a table for one.
If i told you
I cry all over my body
And each tear is a knife
And they are leaving scars on my flesh,
Would you cut me a bandage,
Sop up my blood,
Or leave me to bleed out.
If i told you
I was alone and my demons are taunting me
would you get me out
Or would you keep walking
or keep scrolling...
Im not begging for attention,
But one cannot be expected to be alone and silent like a life long detention.
If i told you
I was ready to confess everything
Come clean from my secrets,
Strip myself naked so you could see my imperfections
would you care even the slightest bit
Or are you so selfish
And so ignorant
To walk on
And leave this person to die.
If i told you i was ready to die
would you blame it in cliche,
Or believe it and save me from damnation
Its time to think.
It could be up to you
This isnt just my world,
Its yours, too
and dont you want to be
somebody
To someone?
I need you.
Because all of these "if i told you's
Are becoming
**im telling you

Bipolar me,
and bipolar weather,
A playground in my mind
with a mood swing set,
and a slippery slide,

Happiness - a game of roulette,
what's holding me together
is being untied,
I'm coming undone on my own,
say you're there yet
my walls feel alone,

Say you care but
you sure don't show it,
If you care I
sure don't know it.

Do you know how crazy
it's driven me?
All these possibilities,
and could be's,

I bleed and I bleed,
no bandage,
I strive, I survive,
All I feel is damage.

Don't get too close to me,
I might be unkind, savage,
Don't leave me alone,
or there'll be nothing of me
left to salvage.

So you are bringing me pain
I tear at my face
Hoping the flesh will mold itself
Into something
better
I look like a zombie tonight.
Im tired of executing this fight.
I thought i could do this 'till i die
Truth is all I wanted to do was chase you.
And in the end the question is what did you even amount to?
I was willing to give up my skinny jeans,
Aviators
And band shirts
In turn for your attention and love
But you took me and made me a fool.
"All in the name of love"
I tried to be what you wanted
But what you wanted was a swimsuit model and a load of ca$h.
Im sorry,
But im not saying sorry to you.
Im apologizing to myself.
I was willing to wash myself away
For a girl.
And it seemed like my body and heart was shot at with an rpg.
But know,
I wish you
A very special
********

I feel night whispering  
My hot bath looses it's heat slowly
My tea waits patiently
I can't sleep
There is nothing more I need, only rest
My spirit won't let me
I hear it's whining
A toddler in full tantrum yelling, "I'm hungry, feed me"
There is no food to satisfy the hunger
It still wants everything  
Taming the feast
A tug of war with my spirit and rationality  
Circumstances are an excuse
I'm to tired to argue
Please god, let me sleep
I will try to have courage in the morning
Tonight let me be