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 Nov 2014 Joanna Dowdell
Samantha
Red
It's loves color
it's the shade of her cheeks when she falls
not to the ground but in love
when she opens the door
he hands her a dozen roses
it's the wine she drinks
the wine she spills
it's the stain on his white shirt
it's the shade that blinds him with rage
it's loves color
it's her lipstick on date night
the night she cried harder than ever before
it's the pattern on her cheek
it matches the blood on his knuckles
it's the sweater she uses to hide
it looks like the heart she uses to live
it's loves color
she never knew sparks were that shade
it's the remains left on the bullet
it's the color of sirens, of help
it's what her skin is painted in
when she wakes confused she sees it
roses by her bedside, she cries
it was loves color
wrote this for poetry club at school
It hurts.
I'm hurting so bad.
I want to cut the pain away.
It will stay as long as I live,
and I don't plan to live long.
This is not my suicide note,
this is my pain.
and I don't know if it'll ever go away.
maybe I like it,
maybe it keeps me sane,
maybe it keeps me strong,
maybe it makes me weak.
sigh.
"Handle it with care"
That, I would always say.
To you, I give my heart so fragile;
A risk that I would never dare
To let another hold
Such a thing so rare,
Which you always seem to break
With your trembling hands.

"I'm sorry, it was an accident"
That, you would always say.
So I always have ****** palms,
And marred fingers,
From always picking up
The sharp fragments
Of my once called heart,
That you so fearfully handle.

Mind that I don't blame you
And your frail hands.
I pick up every blood-stained piece,
With a warm smile.
Every tear and sweat
That ran from my face,
Would wash away the stains,
Restoring its brilliance.

Now I realize that rarity
Does not come in fragile form.
It comes in the form of beauty
That endures. Once healed,
The pieces brought together
Illuminate into a colorful mosaic,
Dedicated to you.

Let its splendor captivate you.
A masterpiece that will drive
All the fears and worries away,
As it makes the trembling end.
For they are not just fragments,
But mementos that will last;
Images that will forever gleam,
**Of you and me.
Love is painful, yet beautiful.
Bangles are my jam
Please walk like an Egyptian
Right into my heart
My tongue is
       dripping
             with honey
     and gold,
        my voice is
   even sweeter
        and richer.






*Just imagine my lips.
I wanna be your medicine
               To take away your pain
         I need you to take me regularly
To be swallowed whole by you
                              Daily
                  I want you to feel
  That you'd die without me
          And never leaving my side is
     Necessary

          I wanna be your cigarettes
                          To burn for you
     I want you addicted to me
In your mouth constantly
                   I want you to inhale me.
         Every time you
                     Breathe

         I wanna be your music
                     Your drugs
   Your heart and soul
           Your liver and your lungs
I want you to NEED me
             I need to feel that feeling
   The feeling that I'm
                Not just something
                            But everything



Because,
For far too long,
I've felt like nothing.
Why you lie?

Why you say there's three servings,

When everyone knows, it's only one?

Rude, Haagen Dazs.

Just Rude.


Sincerely,
Lonely, Sad Girl.
Crying into a container of Chocolate Peanut Butter ice cream.
They say the sense of hearing
is the last to leave,
I hope you are louder than
my demons' screams.
one night she found
comfort in the rope
adorning her neck;
one night she found
how beautifully hope
only hung the noose
higher yet.

she tied vibrant
floating balloons to
the menacing threads
hoping to make up
for the evil kissing her neck.

and the fallacious lies
that she'd be carried
to where angels play
when there's no longer
air in her lungs
took her away.
i have it easier cocooned in the sand
i can't breathe but it's warm in here
i can't walk a sandstorm in the desert place
i really can't

i do not need an oasis
just a voice to keep me safe
even if it's only the mere existence
i can find the strength that i need
i really can
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