“Will the damage be worth it?”* A question that I am afraid to ask, for I am terrified for the answer.

The beautiful catastrophe began one night when you took my hand and asked for a dance, I never thought it would meant something to me but I didn't expect to see the entire galaxy in your eyes that time and how your smile sent shivers to my spine.
After that I spent the next following days telling myself that everything that happened was nothing and should be forgotten. Stop it, I said to myself, you will only ruin everything.
Do you really want to let your guard down, do you really want to crush the walls you've built for a long time just because of one boy?
He's just a boy, I said to myself. Keep in your mind, he is just a boy.
But you aren't just a ******* boy.
You are fire, the fire that melted my ice cold heart.
We were both scared that time, scared of the outcome of the things we are about to do, scared of the things that are bound to happen, scared of destroying everything.
But instead, we took the risk, the two of us.
We overcame our fear of heights by falling together and when I asked you what if we die you told me it was worth it.
That was the moment I knew that home wasn't a place, but home was the feeling you gave me when our fingers intertwined. Home was the happiness I felt when you held me in your arms, home was the satisfaction you gave me every time you uttered the words “I love you,” to my ears. Do you remember the days you gave me roses and told me I was as beautiful as them, I was delighted with the thought that you compared me to one of the prettiest flowers in the world.
And do you remember what you told me, that our love was like the sun and the moon, for they are there for each other when everything is bright and shining, and when everything is surrounded with darkness.
But our love, was something else. Something else that even the skies couldn’t tell how powerful it is, that even the ocean wouldn’t know how deep it is. “We loved with a love that was more than love.” Is this the time that I will finally know the meaning behind Edgar Allan Poe’s line?

However, the moment we've been hoping to never happen, happened.
Here comes the downfall.

The downfall that was the cause of the pain that we couldn't describe, the downfall that made us forget the happiest days of our lives and made us remember the worst, the downfall that led us to realization.
The realization that maybe we are really the sun and the moon, and no, not because of the reason you gave. But because of no matter how deep our love for each other is and how many sacrifices we did, we will never be together.
You told me I was as beautiful as the roses you gave me, but did it ever cross your mind that i have parts of me that could sting you, parts of me that could cut you and break you to pieces and the only mark that will serve as my memory is the redness of your own blood like the petals of the roses, my love, didn't you know that roses have thorns?
And I never told you, that I screamed the words “I love you” too loud for you to know, but I whispered the words “and it's killing me” too soft for you to never discover.
If I considered your hands to be the bed of the room that relaxes me, your arms to be the roof of the house that protects it from destruction, if I considered you to be my home, does that mean right now I am homeless?
Maybe we shouldn’t have overcame it, maybe we should’ve let our fears just be fears.
And perhaps dying wasn't really worth it when you murdered me with the act of walking away and you didn't even bother to look at the crime scene you've made. How funny of me, to think you are more than just a boy, when in fact, you are just another boy who let my guard down, destroyed my walls, and the reason why I would build them once again.
It's true that I saw galaxies in your eyes and your smile sent shivers to my spine but how come I didn't know that those galaxies and shivers would only just ruin everything? Why was I finding my other half when I am already a whole? Why did I let you in when you did nothing but destroy me?
I started to think and told myself that I would do everything just to go back to that night and what I will do is I wouldn't take your hand and agree to that dance.

“The damage was never worth it.” And in the end, I was the one who answered my own question.

Your glowing cheeks and saucy hips
Attract me to very many love trips
Alluring beauty with wonderful lips
Love takes on beauty on fingertips

Very many parts for hide and seek
Ocean full of pearls in prime to speak
Beautiful light with wonderful streak
Sparkle in jubilation to take to tweak

Let me take you on to a hidden place
Where space should embrace but space
I put my honor on whims of your grace
So love and beauty travel pace to pace

Allow your beauty spread sensual aura
Your beauty is a poem my love a stanza
Idea of beauty has changed love inertia
Let's cover journey under this umbrella

Col Muhammad Khalid Khan
Copyright 2016 Golden Glow

Put your arms around me
Pull me in close
Surround my soul with your love
Drive me into an overdose
Your skin is my drug
And I can't get enough
Your lips, your tongue
The epitome of my dreams
Your mouth, your hands
Simply touching me
Is all that need
To feel the depths of ecstasy

I'm lost in your world
In your eyes
You've taken control of me
A destiny I cannot deny
I'm yours
Your dreams
Your future
Your happy place
And in your heart
I've found my home
A resting zone for my soul
More exciting than anything I've known
Yet, my most peaceful place to go

Your touch, your eyes,
Your soul and your heart
All of yours entangled with mine
And we shall never part

My soul is a song that sings a raspy tune,
About love, life and the heartache I've been through.
My heart is a book with pages and chapters written out of order about me and you.
I can't seem to remember the beginning of either and the end seems like a distant future.
But I want you to take your time listening, reading and trying to understand,
Because my life is in these words
And even if we're from different worlds
Love, pain, joy and heartache are things we've all come to know.
And by simply listening and reading each other, we can begin to grow.

Running fingers over the ridges of your rib cage
Sliding gently down your spine
Feelings linger over the bridges of time and age
Your beautiful eyes are divine.

Tightly woven fabrics define your curvature
Patterns carve out your mind
Brightly colored magicks entwine our pleasure
Tattered edges by design.

Dreadlocks twisting like branches from a tree
Matted blonde bow ties.
The shock that kissing you causes in me
Goosebumps couldn't lie.

Our time here, together, is sacred to me
I pray for daily reminding
Our childhood fears doused in good company
The Lovers light is shining.

It was in April we met of last year
Never thought I'd hold you so dear
A curious thing I thought you were
Loud, eccentric, and certainly belligerent
Of my feelings, mostly inconsiderate

At odds were we from the start
With every argument we rip each other clean apart
We clash like demigods on the battlefront
I, petulantly persistent and you, cruelly blunt
I am stubborn and prideful just like you
An abundance of intense feelings between we two
Polar opposites in personality are we
But some of the things in you I see in me

Leery was I of your intentions
Following every reply with even more questions
See, no matter how hard I try can't read you
So handing my trust over to you is an issue
I've never had someone be so true
It scares me to death, because true people are so few

Even if you are not meant to be my lover
You'd be a genuine friend--like no other
(Even at times when we can't stand one another)

Patient sometimes you are with me
As I slowly release my grip and conceed to our reality
For whatever twisted reason there may be
I love you for you and you love me for me

Dancing with you in the moonlight
is like being in the limelight
of my dreams and fantasies,
those preserved sanities.

You don't know the darkness
of the girl who's closeness
increases rhythmically with each rhythm,
dragging herself into your loveliness.

The apathy for love,
deep inside doesn't protest your love;
dancing with you in this mellow night,
my mind sways itself to love a lost love.

I can't trace the fossils of the rotting
love of my past love,maybe I'm tracing
the pieces of my lost love
with our illuminating warm craving
to see each other smiling,
at the beautiful warm sea of love.

The lovely sea  extends
it self before us as if our instincts
to enlarge ourselves
further extends the extensions.

As you pull my heart deeper
more closer, so as to get a feeler
of what's going on in my depths.
I can guess everything without plunging deeper.

Your fingertips trace marks
in each trailing step that marks
a new step to everything,
steps,which are the remarks
of our remarkable memory marks.