Sometimes it comes and I see it
and at Times it doesn't
I wait for it like I wait
for phone calls and text messages
and When it comes it comes
with all this pain
I can't endure it
Starts from my feets feeling weak
to my back feeling like it's broken  
to my ***** feeling so swollen
to red dots all over my body
mixed with mood swings hating
everything
and everyone around me
makes me wonder at times
why I was a women But yet again
it has its blessings For only
a women can take all that pain.

We Time Travelled together threw Thick
and Thin Worrying about nothing But
Us.

Poetry was all she talked about
and Poetry was all she was.

What are we doing?
but siding with the beast
kids crying out of fear
feared to shed a tear
mother's lying on floor
with their blood covering
the sea.

what are we doing?
kids stunned to death
whether to realize whats real
or not real.
fathers running away
with full speed.


kids feasting with there own
fear confused with this
collision


A world
thats feasting with blood
and tears.


                           --Ismahan

I was a Heavy heart who couldn't carry the blame of your mistakes of becoming the man you said you wouldn't be.

      _ismahan

I  am  the witch that crushed hearts
and tore them open
I am the opportunist of a girl
That takes advantage of now
I am the idiot of a girl that grows
close to girls who dislike her girls
who wants what is best for them only
I am the boss of a girl that will close
these chapters and walk forward
and rest in arms of self love instead
of self harm

she was a Mess
a mess that looked so Brilliant
but Also so Genuine
that when people looked at her all they saw
was a Mastermind behind that Bad *** body.
   she was a Wild One.

People of color
Aren't we all Humans
Who are striving To do better
Who are harmless
Aren't we all Innocent
who are livings for there ever after
Aren't we all believers
Who are excited to bring newborns
In this WORLD


A World?
        


A world that is full of violence
A world that is so beautiful
Yet corrupted
In every way
In every direction.

His escape was Writing
All of the Massive disruption and Chaos that was happening in Our that he inspired me to be One.
          A Writer.

i am a work in progress
i am a work in progress
and i am owning every bit of this flawed
sentence because
i am her

Your absences felt like
A gun pulled to my chest
Knowingly that she's sleeping
By your side
Naked while your two bodies collide
And exchange heat I remain untouched.

Destroying My self-esteem  for a Man
like you would be throwing Myself
In the Deepest ocean that  I ever Known.

She just wanted her Man
       To become a dreamer
  A dreamer of life and what's next.

Are we Brought to this World to be loved Equally Or to be Loved Unequally
Dear father,
Aren't we all one
Didn't we all come out from One Womb
From one soul
From one flesh
From one Phenomenal Women
Who went  through all the pain
All the Aches
All the broken bones
All the suffering
Dear father,
Aren't we all one
Didn't we all come out from one womb
From one Flesh
Aren't we all one.

POETRY


You let me share my thoughts and exchange clues of what's next in our upcoming adventure
And you let me write and erase my pain
And re-write them all over again
Changing inks for my
Story to be complete
In a book that saves my secrets
And kept them sealed for years  
Gratitude to you for listening to What was once left muted.
Gratitude to you
dear poetry.


                                 _Ismahan

The only time he acknowledges her
Is after midnight
He says hey babe
I came to pick you up
She comes back the next day
Thinking he loves her
Now the avoiding begins
He sees her in public
And acts like he doesn't know her
This is why I call it delusional love
Cause this is not love
Love is not about satisfying someone's needs.

the tip of my tongue dyed
deliciously in between his
untied Scars.

when the flowers blossom,
I will think of you.
And when the wind blows,
I will also think of you.
And when distance stand against Our love,
I will always think of you.

i use to love looking at
the moon cause it use to
Remind me of your face
now the stars reflect on my
faults and my heart sheds
a tear
Asking myself what have I done?
Who did I have fallen  in love with?
I'd reach the shooting star of what I love
But, Now all I see is
darkness and a
shattered heart.



         --Ismahan

HER heart Hung heavy
As the moon Watched Her
Crying over the man Whom
She once thought was Her Soulmate.

I gave you my Body
I told you Don't play Me
cause my Heart is full of Scars.

I've owned up
To my Unfading Scars
The ones that didn't forget
Your touch.

Swallow me in pieces
and Let me be
safe in your
Esophagus
Then let me
Slowly find
My way to
your Abdomen.

And
be the Parasite
that Showers you
with constant Butterflies.



_Ismahan

she crossed the seven seas
encountered Waves that drowned
the unthinkable.
just to prove
that love has its sacrifices  
the moon became her shelter.











--ismahan

You made feel that
Am the contagious One
for your living
You made me look poisonous
Through your eyes
A hazard that set
Me through flames.

Failing was Never considered in Her Checkbook
She was the Ultimate warrior
She was Left Undefeated
She was and still remains a Hidden
Masterpiece.

Sunday Morning two life's forever have changed
With one word
"Divorce".

A Father Who's made his Ultimate decision
leaving us without a Persuasion  
leaving us without a Saying
Leaving us without Mother


A Mother
who made a Mistake of leaving Us
behind but regrets the Moment
she left Him and left Us behind

A Father who cant take Her pain anymore
Of leaving Him and leaving Us behind

A Father who's made His ultimate decision
His Life Changing Decision
A Father who cant be persuaded
anymore.

A Mother who left us with confusion
That can't be left behind
Leaving Us without Hope
Rescuing their love
Again.

A Father
who's made his Ultimate decision
And One Word
Still stuck on his Mind
"Divorce".

She was Anti social
She hid herself through Writing
Poetry was all she talked about
She expressed her feelings through Art
It was poetry that made her Beautiful and
Different from the others.
Indeed
Poetry was all she was.

He felt the rays
of the sunlight
as He watched her
set foot in his life.






     --ismahan

Together we faced challenges
But with your absence
I was left defeated you gave
me no other choice
but to move on to a man
Who treats me better than you
ever did but some how I can't
love him back because
my heart is still attached to you.

They say wounds Heal
but the Mind doesn't Forget
it recalls every Ounce of
Heartache that was once given
to an innocent soul.

Stuck in between.....
Do I call him
Do I not
Do I talk To my dad like any daughters would
Do I stay away and not let my mother words down
Shall I not take sides
When all along I was stuck in between
My happiness
And this hideous Un-forgetable scar
That's haunting me
Constantly
Stuck inbetween my fathers love
And my mothers wounded heart.

And her so called friends
that continuously spoke about
her terrifying past.
Friends that seemed so fake
that they started to look like
poisonous Flowers.

I predicted us
being one.
My mind didn't
Predict a plus two.
its funny how
One's imagination
can predict happy
Moments but not
the ruiners.





           --Ismahan

she counted him
As one of her flaws.

Fake promises lead to
fake words and a drop Out.
stupid decisions lead to endless
Mockery of a teenage Dream.

  She was promised...

We've learnt literature
To share our thoughts.

And We prayed each day
To end in peace
Kids running away from content
To the other
Hiding from terror
Wishing the night
Could end at ease.

ALL
Running away from their homes
Seeking nothing
Wanting nothing but a better
Life for their Own.  






                          _ismahan

the mind can't dig
  but the tongue can twist
lust into money.

I fell in love with you
All the way to my bones
And it hurts to know that
I was just another one of your play toys.

She wasn't Anti social
She expressed her feelings through Art
It was Poetry that Made Beautiful and different from the Others.

A shattered Heart
As scared Soul
A girl who's life changed In One
astonishing Word.
'Poetry'

I try so hard to move on,
But then you appear in my dreams
Right where you belong
In my cerebrum.

  I try to stand strong,
But then Everybody that I know are telling me
               You Moved On

But then there you were standing tall in a fog trying to send me a message in my dreams
Shouting my name achingly For me to
                Come Back To You

But then
in reality you moved on
with the girl of your dreams.
The kind of girl that pampers herself
And has an ultimate addiction of  her looks.

                                  _ismahan

The beautiful thing about Love
Is that Tingly feeling you get when
You talk about Him.

Ecstasy was his
Lips on mine.
Now it's all
Gone.

what if Everything
you've ever Touched
slowly Turned
into dust.

what if the only man
you've Ever
loved throws His life
In between your
Two hands.

Leaving you
To take care
Of a confused child.

what if your life
was a written poetry.

We've known each other
Only
For two weeks
And we were Hilariously in Love.

It's sad how Old school Romance is failed to be Noticed in Our generation.

Humanity is

The Human race; Human beings
collectively.

in another words
being One
sharing the love Together
being supportive of One Another
Not going against each Other.

Was it the
scar on my
hip that made
you disappear
and slowly made
you ship
south.
Or was your mind
stubborn enough
to understand that my
body was disowned
by another soul.

she got high
with his warmth
his tenderness  
that melted her heart
He makes her want to
wander ceaselessly in his
arms.