You made feel that
Am the contagious One
for your living
You made me look poisonous
Through your eyes
A hazard that set
Me through flames.

alcohol effects on the body

1: it can change the mood and behavior
you say you are leaving the house angry spitting blood
on floor your eyes are red as trantula and you say we are too much but we are not asking  for anything
the maids are running for their lives leaving the house  because of you of your behaviors you dont care about these crimes these charges are  you? oh wait your are intoxicated

2: High blood pressure  
you replaced your morning pills your whole entire morning routine straight off you go to bar shoeless wearing the same t shirt of last week

3:Heavy drinking takes a toll on the liver
you come back your eyes are red as trantula as if you were crying you are in hurry again you are asking for food the floor is covered with spits blood spits

4:Chronic drinkers are more liable
to contract diseases like pneumonia

i wish he could
i wish he could just stop killing himself

Poetry was all she talked about
and Poetry was all she was.

she was a Mess
a mess that looked so Brilliant
but Also so Genuine
that when people looked at her all they saw
was a Mastermind behind that Bad *** body.
   she was a Wild One.

Destroying My self-esteem  for a Man
like you would be throwing Myself
In the Deepest ocean that  I ever Known.

what if Everything
you've ever Touched
slowly Turned
into dust.

what if the only man
you've Ever
loved throws His life
In between your
Two hands.

Leaving you
To take care
Of a confused child.

what if your life
was a written poetry.

I try so hard to move on,
But then you appear in my dreams
Right where you belong
In my cerebrum.

  I try to stand strong,
But then Everybody that I know are telling me
               You Moved On

But then there you were standing tall in a fog trying to send me a message in my dreams
Shouting my name achingly For me to
                Come Back To You

But then
in reality you moved on
with the girl of your dreams.
The kind of girl that pampers herself
And has an ultimate addiction of  her looks.

                                  _ismahan

the tip of my tongue dyed
deliciously in between his
untied Scars.

I've owned up
To my Unfading Scars
The ones that didn't forget
Your touch.

Are we Brought to this World to be loved Equally Or to be Loved Unequally
Dear father,
Aren't we all one
Didn't we all come out from One Womb
From one soul
From one flesh
From one Phenomenal Women
Who went  through all the pain
All the Aches
All the broken bones
All the suffering
Dear father,
Aren't we all one
Didn't we all come out from one womb
From one Flesh
Aren't we all one.

You carry my father weight on your shoulders
You don’t feel burdened at all
I count his laughter now
he laughs gazillions times more with you
You make him a whole alive different original

The only time he acknowledges her
Is after midnight
He says hey babe
I came to pick you up
She comes back the next day
Thinking he loves her
Now the avoiding begins
He sees her in public
And acts like he doesn't know her
This is why I call it delusional love
Cause this is not love
Love is not about satisfying someone's needs.

Sunday Morning two life's forever have changed
With one word
"Divorce".

A Father Who's made his Ultimate decision
leaving us without a Persuasion  
leaving us without a Saying
Leaving us without Mother


A Mother
who made a Mistake of leaving Us
behind but regrets the Moment
she left Him and left Us behind

A Father who cant take Her pain anymore
Of leaving Him and leaving Us behind

A Father who's made His ultimate decision
His Life Changing Decision
A Father who cant be persuaded
anymore.

A Mother who left us with confusion
That can't be left behind
Leaving Us without Hope
Rescuing their love
Again.

A Father
who's made his Ultimate decision
And One Word
Still stuck on his Mind
"Divorce".

If falling In love with him was a crime
Then the taste of his Flesh remained on my tongue.
He was forever mine.

I never had real friends I had fake friends that are not always available when I need them but are available when they need something from me I never had real friends but I had fake friends who will knock me over when ever their tongues felt like it and then random strangers would come up to me and tell me are you sure these people are your friends I never had real friends I had fake friend who think I would downgrade them but really my intentions are as clear as water I just attract my opposite kind of people and drag them upwards to reach the stars where they would drag me aside away from them accomplishments.

And her so called friends
that continuously spoke about
her terrifying past.
Friends that seemed so fake
that they started to look like
poisonous Flowers.

the day i picked my father up
was my first time in twenty four years  
i felt his pain running through my veins
i picked him up i didn’t feel the pain of my
distal phalanges breaking because of his weight
i was going against 108 kilograms of body weight  
at that moment my hands my weight became helpless weak
but i pulled myself up and i picked him gently at that night
i hid his liqours behind the curtains of his room
i undress him from his suit
and changed him into his pajamas
and i put him to sleep
for the first time in twenty four years
i witnessed  my father breaking apart

POETRY


You let me share my thoughts and exchange clues of what's next in our upcoming adventure
And you let me write and erase my pain
And re-write them all over again
Changing inks for my
Story to be complete
In a book that saves my secrets
And kept them sealed for years  
Gratitude to you for listening to What was once left muted.
Gratitude to you
dear poetry.


                                 _Ismahan

Was it the
scar on my
hip that made
you disappear
and slowly made
you ship
south.
Or was your mind
stubborn enough
to understand that my
body was disowned
by another soul.

I fell in love with you
All the way to my bones
And it hurts to know that
I was just another one of your play toys.

He flew all around the world just to be away from her.
Little did he know
She cried all night just to be by her side again.

Her hysteria
Was a story teller.
             And Her Lover.
                    Was the Typewriter

she counted him
As one of her flaws.

she crossed the seven seas
encountered Waves that drowned
the unthinkable.
just to prove
that love has its sacrifices  
the moon became her shelter.











--ismahan

HER heart Hung heavy
As the moon Watched Her
Crying over the man Whom
She once thought was Her Soulmate.

We've known each other
Only
For two weeks
And we were Hilariously in Love.

She wiped her life
From the surface and endings
As she watched him
Start a new chapter
A new life
With her.

The beautiful thing about Love
Is that Tingly feeling you get when
You talk about Him.

When he kisses me I get Lost
In his Beautiful Chaos.

Her reflection
Was his typewriter.

His volatile emotions
Was her story teller.

Humanity is

The Human race; Human beings
collectively.

in another words
being One
sharing the love Together
being supportive of One Another
Not going against each Other.

I  am  the witch that crushed hearts
and tore them open
I am the opportunist of a girl
That takes advantage of now
I am the idiot of a girl that grows
close to girls who dislike her girls
who wants what is best for them only
I am the boss of a girl that will close
these chapters and walk forward
and rest in arms of self love instead
of self harm

i am a work in progress
i am a work in progress
and i am owning every bit of this flawed
sentence because
i am her

His love was
The kind of love that sweeps you off your feet.
The kind of love that serenades you with Let Me Be Your Hero and lillies.

  
     It was that kind of love.

Swallow me in pieces
and Let me be
safe in your
Esophagus
Then let me
Slowly find
My way to
your Abdomen.

And
be the Parasite
that Showers you
with constant Butterflies.



_Ismahan

I remember
Our first date
Where a smooch became My first Kiss
I remember
When you made me try out your spicy pasta that I couldn't help but to pretend that it was
tasteful even though it was not.
I remember
Those long sessions of Us taking a break of everything just to hold onto one another
And just make out.
I remember
Those nights where i use to be a cry baby and
you use to calm me down With Mario Let Me Love You song.
It was the little things that you once did that still marks a place in my heart.

It started with small bottles then small bottles became long liquors then long liquors became drunk house guests then drunk house guests became sleeping over in hotels then sleeping over the hotels became moving out from the house because he felt unsafe with his daughters.

I was a Heavy heart who couldn't carry the blame of your mistakes of becoming the man you said you wouldn't be.

      _ismahan

if you call this love then what would
you call what we had what we had  it was not love
cause the moment you left was the same
moment i found myself happy free out in the wild
if you call this love then what would i call it a
disease a illness that made me hate oxygen air itself
if you call this love then honey love is kind  
love is not a bruise love is kind love is tender
love is patience love is not loneliness love is feeling
happy not unhappy love is a man loving his woman
love is not a man hitting his woman or mistreating his
woman love is kind love is not abuse

Together we faced challenges
But with your absence
I was left defeated you gave
me no other choice
but to move on to a man
Who treats me better than you
ever did but some how I can't
love him back because
my heart is still attached to you.

I Love You
Within All the Greens in the Grass
And all the Waters surrounding thee
Most exotic islands in the world.

Over flowing is part of nature
And sometimes what's seen to be ugly
Is over priceless.



   _ismahan

Sometimes it comes and I see it
and at Times it doesn't
I wait for it like I wait
for phone calls and text messages
and When it comes it comes
with all this pain
I can't endure it
Starts from my feets feeling weak
to my back feeling like it's broken  
to my ***** feeling so swollen
to red dots all over my body
mixed with mood swings hating
everything
and everyone around me
makes me wonder at times
why I was a women But yet again
it has its blessings For only
a women can take all that pain.

His escape was Writing
All of the Massive disruption and Chaos that was happening in Our that he inspired me to be One.
          A Writer.

What are we doing?
but siding with the beast
kids crying out of fear
feared to shed a tear
mother's lying on floor
with their blood covering
the sea.

what are we doing?
kids stunned to death
whether to realize whats real
or not real.
fathers running away
with full speed.


kids feasting with there own
fear confused with this
collision


A world
thats feasting with blood
and tears.


                           --Ismahan

She wasn't Anti social
She expressed her feelings through Art
It was Poetry that Made Beautiful and different from the Others.

A shattered Heart
As scared Soul
A girl who's life changed In One
astonishing Word.
'Poetry'

She was Anti social
She hid herself through Writing
Poetry was all she talked about
She expressed her feelings through Art
It was poetry that made her Beautiful and
Different from the others.
Indeed
Poetry was all she was.

the mind can't dig
  but the tongue can twist
lust into money.