The sun is shining
Filling me up
I am a vial
I take it in
I let it make me beautiful
I let it light my eyes up
And transform them into shining moons
I let the sunshine make me beautiful
I let it make me into a beaming vial of light
In hope that it will
Brighten
The world

And I know we are far gone
When your “later” is code for “never”
And I’m the one desperately trying to start a conversation
I know we are far, far gone
When everything else is prioritized before me
I know we are gone forever
When you’ve not only stopped telling me your secrets
You have stopped telling me anything
I know that there is no turning back
When I haven’t seen you in months
Even though there is only an eight minute walking distance between us
I know that we have materialized into nothing
When all the conversations I have with you are held inside my mind
I know that we are gone

This is a supernova
The millisecond before
It explodes
Almost empty space
Bursting with anticipation
And fear
This is nothing,
Yet everything
This is a beginning
And *the end

I danced
And I jumped
I let the music take over my body
Like the alcohol had taken over theirs
I let the endorphins make me high
And I danced
Not caring if anybody was watching
I danced
As if music was a drug
And I was an addict

It feels like I’ve forgotten something
Like there is something I should go back and get
But the truth is that I lost something
And I’ll never find it
It won’t be in a lost-and-found
It won’t be anywhere
I lost
A piece of myself
And I’ll never get it back
Because the part of my life that piece lived in
It is over
And it can’t be repeated
*ever

I am afraid that no one will ever want me
Because as soon as they see her
They will bow at her feet
Overwhelmed by her perfection
I will become invisible
When her beauty shines so bright it blinds them
They will become deaf to my words
When they hear the angelic melody hers form
I will become a brick
When they touch the feathery silk that is her skin
I will become empty space
When she becomes their entire world
And I will be forced to smile and be happy
When she finds the love I’ve been craving for so long
I’ll have to
Because she,
She is my sister

I will take the knife you put in my back when I wasn’t looking
And push it through my flesh till it graces my heart
And nicks it just enough for the pain to come flooding out
Then I’ll paint you a portrait
Red with pain
And wrap it up with a bow on top
Because I would never forget your birthday
Or to congratulate you
As you grow one step closer to death
Because that is something that's actually worth celebrating