Pleasure,
Is it a god?
Pain,
Is it the devil?

Given the wrong circumstances,
They can both be evil.
Then what is it I rely on
To help me differentiate between right and wrong?

Time,
Is it eternal?
Health,
Is it reliable?
And when things don't go to plan,
Are my consequences inevitable?
Then what is it I can count on
That's been unchangeable all along?

Will,
Is it sturdy?
Relationships,
Will they keep swaying me?

And when pain,
Pleasure, time and health test me,
What is it I can rely on to keep me steady?

Why,
I feel like a kite on a single string,
The string is a hand stretching out from a deep sea,
The hand is a lever with the note:
"Pull me!"
And I hold on and it may be fine,
But relationships,
Will, health, time, pain and pleasure
Eventually rot and turn bitter
And they let me go
And I am reminded of how
Lost I truly am...
In this vast ocean...
In this wide space...
I am reminded that in this world,
Nowhere in my mind is safe;
I used to ridicule that which I cannot see or feel,
But there was nothing of this world that was real.
All of my idols
Left me,
Scathed.
And all that’s left to
Hold on to
Are the ideals of hope
And faith.

Take it all out onto the world
And punish the innocent bystander.
Hold the gun up to yourself,
And catch them in the crossfire.

Must I remind you
That there is mystery in the love that you seek?
There are delusions in the secrets that you keep.

Take your philosophy as scripture
And crucify the heretic.
Indeed, you've become somewhat of a prophet but
You get revelations from ego,
And I am wondering,
How far are you willing to go?

How amusing for a clump of clay to make so much waste,
For a cluster of atoms to take up so much space,
For a speck of dust to be so loud!

Misery loves company,
And you've got yourself a whole crowd!

Misery loves company,
And you have made it your life's mission
To make the miserable proud.

It has finally become clear,
And you have released all doubts from my mind.
Even though I still love you,
We are incompatible once
We compare our skeletons.
You do not understand me,
But I understand you fully,
And I understand that you don’t
Understand yourself entirely.
Thus you do not know me and
I doubt you would be so kind once you do.
I do not wish to say goodbye,
But my soul has already left and
Our umbilical cord was cut
Once you trivialised that which is
Central to me
And I do not blame you,
Nor do I hold a grudge,
Because I understand you fully:
You preach love and compassion and
Yet you lack comfort and wisdom,
It is because you see through other eyes and not with them.
I still love you,
But it’s time I moved on towards the
Things which reflect my being
And are compatible once
We compare our skeletons.

You have overstayed your welcome,
Oh entity of past lives not lived.
Your stench of decay still lingers
And seeps from my fingers.

Abandon me old skin,
You have become nothing but the skeleton of past sins
Haunting me when I am most vulnerable.
I’ve befriended an enemy and
In turn, I have become intolerable.

Yes, I have been the oppressor.
I’ve whispered, I’ve swayed, I’ve lusted, I’ve preyed,
And although I have one foot out of the door,
Old friends whisper to me,
“Come on, how much can it really hurt
If you did it once more?”