I've written a thousand rhymes
to tell you how much you mean
to me.

I've scribbled a hundred pieces
of my weary heart on the pages
of my diary.

I've missed a lot of moments
and chances to fall in love with
reality.

I've often tried to stop and let go,
I didn't know I would feel this
empty.

If this is so wrong for me to say,
I'd even speak more and
clearly.

If loving you would seem to the world the worst nightmare,
I'd do everything to sleep for
a century.

These are all that I'd love to do
if only I hadn't wasted
so much time.

But to hold on to these things,
even as a dream,
would be such a pathetic
crime.

I feel so controlled.
I feel so controlled and manipulated.
Restricted and barred,
Cuffs and braces,
Cells and cages.
Voices . . .

Hush . . .

HUSH!

Let's end this now.
Let's break this doubt.
Stop controlling me.
Stop, control me.

You said you'll be okay, you said you will be fine
Said that there's no one there that you would want to find
You told the world that lie; at home you released a sigh
And let the tears keep rolling down, alone in cold midnight
You drive away so many chances, for many times you hide
Keep losing all your dusty journals, but you keep them in mind
You knew you needed space, but you want his warm embrace
And now you **** yourself rewinding all your sweetest mem'ries.

Now you see it's gone, though words still madly resound
You thought that you should find another, though against your heart's desire
And amidst your life's bothersome haste, you stop and look back on that day
When you vowed to make that lonely hour absolutely worth the pain
And love him forever, despite whatever, completely, come what may
But you were so wrong, love does fade, the story ends today.

There is a good reason
behind every disappointment
behind every awful failure
behind every painful fall
and every tear that rolls down
from one's weary eyes.

Yes, there is.

And someday,
we'll know what it is,
but I just hope
I'd still be here.

Some things never matter
Some people never care
Some souls never wander
Some heroes never dare.

Some lips never smile
Some eyes never stare
Some love lasts for a while
Some hearts break and wear.

Some books stay with dust
Some flowers die under the rain
Some friends we can't trust
Some stories end up in vain.

Some tongues speak lies
Some smiles take away pain
Some kisses end loud cries
Some promises never remain.

Some glitters never shimmer
Some fame doesn't last a lifetime
Some sad songs forget about summer
Some writers forget about dime.

Some poems are just written
Some poems are out in the sun
Some poems are carefully hidden
Some come out when the poet's gone.

I still do.

What could be the question? 'Cause all I have here is the answer.

The answer to all that's been lurking around the corners of my mind.

They have been here, all from the day when I thought that there would be nothing else to spare. I was crushed. I was empty. I felt how your words just faded away from my memory and the memory of those who knew what was there. But still, they are here. Still lurking in the corners of what I'd rather call nowhere.

Guess it would be foolish to hear that

I still do.

How I wish I know what to ask myself when I say the words "I still do."

It's not that I would rather deny. It's just that I don't want to seem so wrong when I know what is going on, when I know what is right and wrong. It could have lived on. It could have made us strong. It could have saved us from feeling completely alone when we knew we were both there. Yes, I know, that was wrong. And so we moved on.

But did we bother ask ourselves what was really going on?

We never did, but

I still do.

No matter how much I say that somebody else has taken my heart away, you still take a part of me, in every luscious word, in every passionate stare, in every gentle touch, in every meaningful day, in my every breath that you would always take away.

You still do.

But I lost you.

And for every unknown question I wish I never have to create, know that there is no other answer to take but

**I still do.