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нαℓeყ Nov 2014
I don't think I'll be here much longer, I'm warning them too. But they don't understand, and I don't expect them to. By the time anyone catches on it'll be too late. By the time anyone cares I'll be dead anyway. I'm not going to **** myself, but I'm not going to stop anyone else from killing me either. I've been done for a very long time... I'm no longer sad or happy, I don't feel at all. I'm merely a shell of what I once was, a sad little girl, lost and alone. The girl that cut and cried, starved and slowly died. But at least I felt.... Now I'm nothing but an empty body with scars and secrets.
нαℓeყ Aug 2014
I need to feel alive, because I am not, I'm barly breathing, my heart has been shot.

I take a deep breath and I close my eyes, I fake one more smile and say my good byes.

I walk away and close the door, don't come looking for me, I can't take anymore.
нαℓeყ Jan 2015
This isnt real. This it's all a bad dream. But the only way out isn't as easy as it seems. If I fail I'm stuck here forever and if I don't then another dream will be never.
нαℓeყ Aug 2014
Eyes say more than words
They don't lie
They do cry
And they tell the saddest tale
нαℓeყ Dec 2016
The world is an illusion, we're born alone, we die alone. Everything in the middle is all up to you. Time is timeless, and we're all thoughtless, living in our heads, hiding behind the very thing that narrates our lives, ourselves.

Everyone is so different and unique. Each of us with a different purpose and future. In order to fulfill that role in life, we need to find our worth. What makes you wake up everyday and keep going? What do you love and why? Every single person reading this is worth so much more than you think. The world is never going to get better if we don't wake up and realize that the only thing keeping us from making each day worth it is ourselves.

Words are meaningless without people, guns are harmless without our touch. We are our own worst enemies. But you can change that. You can be the reason someone gets up everyday and keeps going, you can be the one to change society and make the standards we hold a little less impossible to reach. It's all up to you as to whether or not you make that change. We're all capable of the unthinkable. We just have to try.
нαℓeყ Aug 2014
I'm dead
But not literally

I'm scarred
As in Physically

I'm lost
Only mentally

I'm living
... Technically
нαℓeყ Aug 2014
I will never be mourned over
never be missed

I will never be cried over
So I slice my wrist
нαℓeყ Dec 2016
Thanks to you I can hear what I think,
And thanks to that my sanity bleeds.
So because of my thoughts I'll have to drink
To wash away all of my bad deeds.
I can't take my depressing thoughts,
The darkness takes me in and tells me what I'm not;
It's the light that screams forget me not,
I guess I'm not who I thought.
The lack of sight is from the lack of light,
The voices in my head thrive at that time.
I’ve never been a fan of the night,
Or a fan of this stupid, every other line rhyme.
The cause of my mind’s insanity,
Is the darkness in which I live and breathe
It’s slowly killing me,
And causing me to lose my sleep
With no hope to carry on;
But along with my sleep, in the endless night I weep;
There's no where I can find to belong.
I find peace within my misery;
The darkness will always take over,
It will take all of my sanity, every part of me,
But it's the light that keeps me mentally sober;
There is hope, because the darkness always comes to an end,
And the black of the night will give me up.
The light I will depend,
The darkness it will disrupt .
The light reminds me of who I am.
It's the dark that I will always fight,
Until the night swallows me whole again,
I’ll have to depend on the light.
нαℓeყ Oct 2014
I have so many memories written on my skin
They're my daily reminder of the pain held within
I have so many problems I'm starting to wear thin
So I take a couple pills and wait for the heart ache to dim
I have so many secrets they're hard to hold in
So I let them all out with my blade and some gin
нαℓeყ Oct 2014
I'm enthralled with the idea of dying
No more hurting, no more crying

Sorry, but life has no silver lining
Society kills the rising

Suicides not what I'm implying
I'm only saying that I'm done trying....
нαℓeყ Jan 2017
I know that by the time you read this I'll be gone
not dead, just gone.
Somewhere that might as well be no where
because you wont know where I've gone.
I wont be sad there, in this no where
I'll just be gone.
нαℓeყ Aug 2014
I'm alive
I want to die
I hope you're happy
I hope you cry when I'm gone
I smile all the time
My smile is fake
I have so many friends
I have so many blades
I have a family
They hate me
I don't need help*
I need saving
нαℓeყ Aug 2014
Lost is what you want me to be, gone is what they say I am, and sad is the simplicity of what I really am... I am not a happy person
нαℓeყ Aug 2014
A smile
A laugh
A heart broken in half

A blade
A gun
A ******* the run

A shovel
A grave
A girl they couldn't save
нαℓeყ Sep 2014
I start cutting
I stop eating
I start dying
I stop breathing
нαℓeყ Oct 2014
I am nothing but a pawn within this sick game called life.
      Each moment is tallied in my skin with a knife.
I have no purpose yet I live, as societies imperfect sacrifice.
Since there are no ***** to give, I'll refrain from playing nice.
нαℓeყ Jan 2015
Born into a broken society, with standards that are impossible to reach. Surrounded by a bipolar population and an unfortunate generation of misfits and freaks. Each of us living in our heads, hiding behind labels from magazines. We're the kids our parents warned us about. I'm the one that I never thought I would be. I'm a ***** and a ****. I'm pathetic because I cut. I'm the definition of a "mistake". I'm in pain. I'm sitting on the bathroom floor at four o'clock in the morning with a bottle of painkillers and a puddle of blood and tears beside me, I'm questioning whether or not I should keep trying. Maybe tomorrow is not worth seeing. Maybe I get up every morning for absolutely nothing. Maybe the only option I have left is dying. I'm sorry, but I just wasn't made for surviving. Blood falling to the floor, tears streaming down my face, pain running through my veins. It's worse now. It's all hidden behind a smile and some pills. I'm drowning now, yet no one seems to care. Food tells me to starve, blades tell me to cut, while society sits there listening to my screams. I'm dying now, still no one comes to save me. You're too late now. So here is my future, here is my unfortunate ending; Blood in a puddle on the floor, tears and dried makeup on my face, pain once again winning this game while I lay lifeless on the tile. I'm the girl without a name.
нαℓeყ Aug 2014
Scars, I am covered in them
Demons, I'm surrounded by them
Shadows, I've been hiding in them
Blades, I have plenty of them
Time, I have taken from them
Me, I am nothing without them
нαℓeყ Aug 2014
My heart is in so much pain
It's almost unbearable

My smile has become so fake
It's hardly believable

My life has become so sad
It's like a new lifestyle

My mind has become so lost
The Sanity's unfindable

My time is almost up
And the clock is unwinedable
нαℓeყ Aug 2014
You don't care now
Wait till I'm dead

You'll all stop laughing
When you see what you did
нαℓeყ Aug 2014
I'm the waste of space in your life
Loss of time in your day
Lack of air in your lungs
And the negative thought in your brain

— The End —