"a beautiful tragedy"
they named her

she trudged into class
an hour late as usual
having dealt with her ******* father
and narcissistic mother

the bandages around her wrist
was tighter than usual
the sleeves of her shirt
was longer than usual

her smile was empty
just like she was
devoid of emotions
just empty

she wasn't always like this
she used to be bubbly
and she danced
all the time

she used to be happy

"a beautiful tragedy"
they named her.

is she you?

she loved the rain
the splitter splatter sound
every drop makes
were music to her ears

she loved the thunder
the ferocity of its roar
gave her the strength
to hold on for awhile more

she loved the lightning
the beauty of each stroke
containing the lethal power to hurt and ****
yet remain in inexplicable beauty

in short she loved thunderstorms
a mixture of rain thunder and lightning
just like her inner conflict of thoughts
and emotional turmoil

she compared herself to thunderstorms
not that she was a beauty
but she believed that
it depicted the words she wanted to say

she loved them so much
she chose to die on the day
there was a thunderstorm outside
pouring out things she never said.

she closes her eyes
as the nightmares flash
she screams
and wake up in cold sweat

her heartbeat accelerates
as she glances furtively
around her dark room
frightened and terrified

as she lies back on her bed
she keeps her eyes open
in fear of the dark
the unknown lurking there

yet another night of hers
where her sleep was disrupted
just like any other nights
its a wonder how she hasn't gotten used to it

she prayed and wished
to escape this state of insomnia
even if it was comatose
she wouldn't mind

the thin wall
of pretence
is the barrier
between us

for what we lie
for what we pretend
when all we wanted
was to be happy

but alas we never learn
as we once again lie
not to anyone else
but to ourselves

remember the boy
you made fun of
3 years ago and
never stopped

he died today
and you went to his funeral
your heart beating
but his was not

you uttered sorry
you tried to push the blame
consoled yourself
saying you didn't mean it

the heavy weight
in your heart
it didn't leave you
you knew what you did

you started drinking
a bottle every night
but that was only
for starters

it extended
to several a night
until the day
you got hospitalised

karma, you thought
and boy were you right
it is karma
and it ****** you up.

Staring deep, into the fire, as it dies,
I've come to see, that it all was lies.
But now I forget your once perfect voice,
That's what you want, and it was your choice.
But the beat of your heart, pulsing with haste,
Lying in my arms, as they wrapped round your waist.  
That memory shall take longer, much longer, to die,
Too bad even that memory, was naught but a lie.

Bite me;
show me your inner
anger.
Inflict on me
the power
of your emotions.
I want to feel
your pain,
take away
your sadness,
and live through
your pleasure.
-JRM